I am in a better place than I was last post. Yesterday we had Jacob's doctor visit. Here is the gist...
* Jacob's x-rays looked good. I mean he has a rod in there now, so really we are just making sure his body isn't rejecting the metal. His bones looked more together than when they were broken, so I guess that is good.
* Jacob has 5 incision marks. Two big incisions, and three smaller ones. The doc took out his 3 smaller incision stitches, and then put a hard splint back on his calf.
* The next appointment is Tuesday. There he will get his other two incision stitches taken out, and he will get a hard cast on. Then we wait for 4 weeks.
* If he has no complications from his cast being put on, he will be able to come home to Atlanta on Wednesday. (YAY!)
* For the future: He will get his cast off in 4 weeks (5 weeks from now), if all goes well. We will get all his paperwork, and files transferred over to the VA hospital in Atlanta, and go from there. I mean we have a month to get it done so I am not too worried, or stressed. He will then find out when he can start physical therapy No weight, or work can be done on his leg before that point. The doctor said in reality, he will be healing for 6 months, and not have function back until then. Full function/running marathons, we are looking at a year....
So we asked the doctor the dreaded question. What did he think about deployment in October? He said it was out of the question. I could hear Jacob's soul deflate a little. We had talked about that as an option, so it didn't come as a complete surprise, but no one had said those words out loud yet.
So the great news: Jacob will be home on Wednesday, that is two days earlier than we thought! Super happy about that!
Then the news we need to digest: Our "plan" has been disrupted. We had what we thought a laid out plan for the next year and a half. We keep thinking of things that will need to be adjusted. So what do I do when things seem a little out of control? OCD the problem to death. So in this case we broke down what could seem like an overwhelming issue, the fact that what we thought would be our future will not, into small achievable pieces. Apparently we were headed down the wrong "plan" so we will adjust and have to go with the flow.
Step One: Get me home so I can continue my employment with Atlanta Public Schools. DONE
--> Jacob's brother(s) will be here tomorrow to relieve me and help him around the hotel/getting to the doctors. A huge relief!
Step Two: Get Jacob's orders changed, as he will not be active anymore. DONE
--> We have him on R&R until Friday.
Step Three: Figure out if he can get disability pay, and for how long.
--> This will take some constant attention. It is doable, but will take some calls, and constant pestering. The Army will take care of you, but you have to go through the Army steps, and that can take a lot of time. Our hope is to get his orders changed and in effect by Friday, so there is no lapse. We will see.
The answer we get from step three will then put into action the next few steps. We are looking at Jacob starting a career with his new bachelors degree. We are looking at getting a new deck on our house, because of water damage. We are looking at putting off finishing our dream basement. We are looking at my race schedule, and what is doable and what isn't. We are really just starting from almost blank slate.
We have the general layout, where we will live, I have a job, and we have a house with a small zoo. Everything else is kinda up for grabs. It is not every year we get so much freedom to make new life choices. When I look at this opportunity through my pink sunglasses (yes, I really do have pink running sunglasses!), it looks a bit more rose colored. No really. This is a new path, that we never saw coming, but everything happens for a reason, and we will forge this new path open to the new possibilities.
Who knows what this all might bring. But overall, I am pretty okay with the outlook at this time!
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Is that an issue?
This just played out in the hotel room.
Jacob finds me laying on the floor of the hotel room, facing the wall. I had been down there for a while. Jacob asked me "Why are you laying on the ground? Are you having issues?". I answered "I am just trying to get a different view. Is that an issue?". Then I burst out in hysterical laughter for the next 7 minutes.
I am a social being. I like to be busy. Now don't get me wrong, I love to enjoy a vacation as much as the next person. But I like my vacations to be around 6 days. I have been in NC for 8 days. There is little to do. We are on post, we have to take Jacob's leg, and pain into account, and we have little funds/material items to do a lot of things with. So we are a bit bored. Well actually stir crazy has become an understatement.
We have been able to do some Skypeing, and we get out at least once a day, so we make sure to be around other people. I love my husband, but I like conversations with others. I have read magazines, books, devotionals, and been on the web. We have watched Hulu, movies, and a lot of TV. We have talked about the future, past, and questions we need to talk to the doctor about.
I don't want to complain, and I don't want this to be a post of complaining. I am happy that I am here with Jacob. I am so blessed to have this opportunity. This was time that Jacob was going to be gone. We get to spend it together. Just not in the ideal place. Fort Bragg is nice, but I miss my friends. I miss going into my classroom, I am a bit jealous of my teacher friends who are at school (I never thought I would EVER say that). It would just be a change from doing the same thing that we are doing over here.
In that same breath I will have to leave Jacob on Sunday. That makes me sad. I think I am in an emotional conflict. I have to be back to school on Aug. 1. I am ready for a change, but I am not ready to leave Jacob. His brother(s) will be coming down to relieve me. I am leaving him in great hands, but my heart saddens when I think about leaving him in a few days.
I think my real issue is that I need a change of pace, but I am not going to embrace that change in pace. Now that is an issue.
Jacob finds me laying on the floor of the hotel room, facing the wall. I had been down there for a while. Jacob asked me "Why are you laying on the ground? Are you having issues?". I answered "I am just trying to get a different view. Is that an issue?". Then I burst out in hysterical laughter for the next 7 minutes.
I am a social being. I like to be busy. Now don't get me wrong, I love to enjoy a vacation as much as the next person. But I like my vacations to be around 6 days. I have been in NC for 8 days. There is little to do. We are on post, we have to take Jacob's leg, and pain into account, and we have little funds/material items to do a lot of things with. So we are a bit bored. Well actually stir crazy has become an understatement.
We have been able to do some Skypeing, and we get out at least once a day, so we make sure to be around other people. I love my husband, but I like conversations with others. I have read magazines, books, devotionals, and been on the web. We have watched Hulu, movies, and a lot of TV. We have talked about the future, past, and questions we need to talk to the doctor about.
I don't want to complain, and I don't want this to be a post of complaining. I am happy that I am here with Jacob. I am so blessed to have this opportunity. This was time that Jacob was going to be gone. We get to spend it together. Just not in the ideal place. Fort Bragg is nice, but I miss my friends. I miss going into my classroom, I am a bit jealous of my teacher friends who are at school (I never thought I would EVER say that). It would just be a change from doing the same thing that we are doing over here.
In that same breath I will have to leave Jacob on Sunday. That makes me sad. I think I am in an emotional conflict. I have to be back to school on Aug. 1. I am ready for a change, but I am not ready to leave Jacob. His brother(s) will be coming down to relieve me. I am leaving him in great hands, but my heart saddens when I think about leaving him in a few days.
I think my real issue is that I need a change of pace, but I am not going to embrace that change in pace. Now that is an issue.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
It is the things like Q-Tips
Q-Tips, hairspray, laundry soap, dryer sheets shower gel, and contact solution. All of these items had to be purchased while at the PX today. I have all of these items at home. I have them in an awesome bin I call the extra bin in my bathroom closet. I seriously thought I would be in North Carolina no longer than Sunday. That was two days ago.
I actually ran out of clothes two days ago. But with some handy sink washing, and re-wearing, because I didn't sweat that much, I made it until this afternoon before I broke down and did laundry. But to do laundry I needed soap, and dryer sheets, which I have at home, not here. So we had to make one of our goals the PX today.
We had decided to get our haircuts today. So we wheeled Jacob to the Barber. They are so fast, and good at their job. He has a nice military fade-away cut. I love that look. Next door is the salon. As I have mentioned I start school the day I get back to GA, so I have to do all those things I was going to this week, just here in NC. My stylist did a great job! It was a nice experience. She was quick, and my hair looks okay to me so far.
So the PX. Almost everything we bought there we have at home. I can be considered cheap at time. I hate buying things that I already have. I just have to come to terms with life at this time. I had no way to know what to expect when I packed my bags almost a week ago. And honestly I wouldn't trade this experience for being at home alone.
So when I get home I will just have more things like Q-Tips.
I actually ran out of clothes two days ago. But with some handy sink washing, and re-wearing, because I didn't sweat that much, I made it until this afternoon before I broke down and did laundry. But to do laundry I needed soap, and dryer sheets, which I have at home, not here. So we had to make one of our goals the PX today.
We had decided to get our haircuts today. So we wheeled Jacob to the Barber. They are so fast, and good at their job. He has a nice military fade-away cut. I love that look. Next door is the salon. As I have mentioned I start school the day I get back to GA, so I have to do all those things I was going to this week, just here in NC. My stylist did a great job! It was a nice experience. She was quick, and my hair looks okay to me so far.
So the PX. Almost everything we bought there we have at home. I can be considered cheap at time. I hate buying things that I already have. I just have to come to terms with life at this time. I had no way to know what to expect when I packed my bags almost a week ago. And honestly I wouldn't trade this experience for being at home alone.
So when I get home I will just have more things like Q-Tips.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Just another day
Jacob and I have been on our own for 2 full days. We are on day three. When the hospital said we were going to be released there was a thought of joy, and then a small moment where reality hit. I was signing the forms stating I would take care of him, I would be with him all the time. I would help him. I would keep track of his meds. I would make sure he followed the rules. I would make sure to push him to do his exercises. And on top of that I had to make sure I kept my role as his wife.
When I feel like things are out of my control I become very OCD. In this case I needed to create a routine that would work for both of us, and then I had to organize everything I could. We started by figuring out what time he should take meds. He has meds he has to take every 4 hours, and some every 12 hours. We wanted to make sure to set the schedule so he would have his pain meds during times in which he thought he would be most active. So we have a nice schedule that we keep to, which includes taking all his pills at 10 a.m. and 10 p.m. We made it so his 4 hour pills meshed with his 12 hour pills. We made it a time that he should be up, and will be starting our day after 10 a.m., and beginning his night time at 10 p.m. This has worked really well for both of us.
When we got into our hotel room some friends from his unit helped us into the room, and they had brought all of his gear from the field. Well he had packed all his gear, and then his friends had packed it all back up, so no one knew what/where anything was. So once we got into our handicap room I went through every piece of equipment. He had to explain to me what it was for, and then I made the decision if it was a keep in the room or pack back up and place in the car. Then with the stuff we kept in the hotel we split it into clothes, toiletries, paperwork, and fun piles. Then I put it all away in specific places in our room. I mean Jacob will be here for 2 weeks, and when my relief comes I will easily be able to explain where things are, and by then Jacob will have a good idea where it all is kept.
The next thing we did was discuss specific goals we would like to do while here. These were just brainstorming ideas of ways we could pass the time. We thought of the PX (a version of Target), Commissary ( grocery store), find his old unit, go to the mall, go to a museum, go see a movie, Jacob needs a haircut, I need to get to a weight watchers, yada, yada, yada. We made a big long list. Now each day we make at least one goal. This is two fold. We get out of the hotel room, and he is moving around, and we are doing something productive each day.
So our days look like this:
I get up in the morning and go for a run. I have been getting up at 7, but will changing that to 6. I will switch it to 5 soon enough. When I get back to GA I will have to start school right away. I have to get my body into school mode while I am here.
8:00 - I wake up Jacob if he isn't already awake. We make our way to the hotel breakfast.
9:00 - I get ready first. Jacob is normally in the most pain at this point because all his meds are due at 10
10:00 - He gets all of his meds at this time. Then he is normally good to get up and shower. We have to wrap his leg, and then get him situated in the shower. There is a seat in the shower because it is a handicapped room. He can normally finish getting ready.
11:00 - 2:00 - At some point we try to get out of the room, so housekeeping can come in. We normally try to get our goal for the day done. Today our goal is to go off base for the first time and get to a mall. I am looking for a tea strainer.
2:00 - 5:00 - Jacob normally needs a rest so we make it back to the room. I sometimes will go out to this courtyard to read in the sun. Sometimes Jacob will join me, but it gets too hot out there for him. We will try to read magazines, or books. We try to turn off the TV, otherwise I can see how this can just become a normal background.
5:00 - We eat dinner. We have to eat dinner, or lunch out of the room. We only have a microwave, and a small fridge, so we try to eat out one meal a day.
6:00 - 10:00 - A lot of the same. Small trips to the front desk, for Jacob to practice, more reading in the courtyard, and, well, a lot more reading.
10:00 - Another dose of all his meds, and it is time to get ready for bed.
Then we wake up and do it all again. Jacob is working really hard, and is very open to not spending every last second on the bed. He wants to get up and do what he can, and he tries to do a lot on his own. Overall this has not been as overwhelming as I felt it could have been when I first found out we were being released. Jacob is a pretty good patient, and a really great husband!
When I feel like things are out of my control I become very OCD. In this case I needed to create a routine that would work for both of us, and then I had to organize everything I could. We started by figuring out what time he should take meds. He has meds he has to take every 4 hours, and some every 12 hours. We wanted to make sure to set the schedule so he would have his pain meds during times in which he thought he would be most active. So we have a nice schedule that we keep to, which includes taking all his pills at 10 a.m. and 10 p.m. We made it so his 4 hour pills meshed with his 12 hour pills. We made it a time that he should be up, and will be starting our day after 10 a.m., and beginning his night time at 10 p.m. This has worked really well for both of us.
When we got into our hotel room some friends from his unit helped us into the room, and they had brought all of his gear from the field. Well he had packed all his gear, and then his friends had packed it all back up, so no one knew what/where anything was. So once we got into our handicap room I went through every piece of equipment. He had to explain to me what it was for, and then I made the decision if it was a keep in the room or pack back up and place in the car. Then with the stuff we kept in the hotel we split it into clothes, toiletries, paperwork, and fun piles. Then I put it all away in specific places in our room. I mean Jacob will be here for 2 weeks, and when my relief comes I will easily be able to explain where things are, and by then Jacob will have a good idea where it all is kept.
The next thing we did was discuss specific goals we would like to do while here. These were just brainstorming ideas of ways we could pass the time. We thought of the PX (a version of Target), Commissary ( grocery store), find his old unit, go to the mall, go to a museum, go see a movie, Jacob needs a haircut, I need to get to a weight watchers, yada, yada, yada. We made a big long list. Now each day we make at least one goal. This is two fold. We get out of the hotel room, and he is moving around, and we are doing something productive each day.
So our days look like this:
I get up in the morning and go for a run. I have been getting up at 7, but will changing that to 6. I will switch it to 5 soon enough. When I get back to GA I will have to start school right away. I have to get my body into school mode while I am here.
8:00 - I wake up Jacob if he isn't already awake. We make our way to the hotel breakfast.
9:00 - I get ready first. Jacob is normally in the most pain at this point because all his meds are due at 10
10:00 - He gets all of his meds at this time. Then he is normally good to get up and shower. We have to wrap his leg, and then get him situated in the shower. There is a seat in the shower because it is a handicapped room. He can normally finish getting ready.
11:00 - 2:00 - At some point we try to get out of the room, so housekeeping can come in. We normally try to get our goal for the day done. Today our goal is to go off base for the first time and get to a mall. I am looking for a tea strainer.
2:00 - 5:00 - Jacob normally needs a rest so we make it back to the room. I sometimes will go out to this courtyard to read in the sun. Sometimes Jacob will join me, but it gets too hot out there for him. We will try to read magazines, or books. We try to turn off the TV, otherwise I can see how this can just become a normal background.
5:00 - We eat dinner. We have to eat dinner, or lunch out of the room. We only have a microwave, and a small fridge, so we try to eat out one meal a day.
6:00 - 10:00 - A lot of the same. Small trips to the front desk, for Jacob to practice, more reading in the courtyard, and, well, a lot more reading.
10:00 - Another dose of all his meds, and it is time to get ready for bed.
Then we wake up and do it all again. Jacob is working really hard, and is very open to not spending every last second on the bed. He wants to get up and do what he can, and he tries to do a lot on his own. Overall this has not been as overwhelming as I felt it could have been when I first found out we were being released. Jacob is a pretty good patient, and a really great husband!
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Living a Dream
I never lived on base. Jacob was stationed at Ft. Bragg, North Carolina the 4 years I was doing my undergrad at Western Michigan University. I did visit him on base. I would "illegally" stay in his barracks with him.
I knew living on base was always an option. If Jacob decided to stay active duty that would have been the life I would have lived. That was an option I was open too. I created that opening Sept. 11, 2001. Sitting in a McDonald's booth Jacob let me know he was going to join the military. I told him I was not going to be the girlfriend, at the time, that stood in the way of his dreams. I would be beside him to support him. We both agreed in that booth that we would support each other, and if we really couldn't we would end the relationship. I think in that moment we learned one of lives marriage lessons. You must let each other grow.
We have had those kind of conversations many times. This week it happened again. We are at a crossroads. Jacob's leg injury comes with his unit getting ready to deploy. The question to him was "What do you want me to support?". I would support him if he wanted to take R & R and be done for a while. I would do anything in my power to make sure he was not deployed. I would help him work on his next future move.
Jacob's answer was quick. He wanted to anything he could to be deployed with his unit. So I am full on supporting him, and I will do anything I can get him on that deployment. I will not be the wife that stands in the way of his dreams. And honestly if I dug deep that was the decision I was hoping for. I am mentally prepared for a deployment, his heart has been set on this course for over 6 months. This makes the most sense to pursue at this time.
I am in a pretty good place right now. I guess mentally and physically. I have always dreamed about what it would be like to live on base, and here I am getting to experience it. I ran this morning. Let me just take us on a side track for a second. I packed a small carry on suitcase when I came down here. I packed 3 days worth of clothes. I thought at the longest that is how long I would be here. At a last minute thought I packed my running shoes. My thought was if I needed closed toes shoes to get in the hospital. Because of that I was able to get outside before Jacob woke up and get in a run. I needed that so much. Okay back to the post... I ran this morning. Went all around some of the small, army housing neighborhoods. It was a nice change of scenery, and the neighborhoods were cute. Now I am not one to think living on base has no downfalls, but it was a run that helped clear my head, and helped me appreciate the time I have to be here. I am kinda living a dream.
I can't express how much the messages, wall posts, and texts have meant to us. It was so nice to have the support from our friends and family. The prayers and positive thoughts have created a bubble of peace, and a sense of support that we needed. There are truly no words to express how that can feel.
The last mushy part of this will most likely bring me to tears as I type it. Our love for our friends Jeff and Sara Burden can not be matched. We are so thankful that we can call them friends. They have dropped their own lives to move their small zoo, into our house, with our small zoo, so that I can stay here with Jacob. True friends like them do not come around but once in a lifetime. We are so truly blessed that we can call them friends, and there will never be any way to pay them back. Army families have the pride of calling ourselves with titles like "Army wife", and they deserve the title "Army Friends" and they should wear that with just as much pride. True to my words, I am crying so hard my nose is running, and tears are splattered across the keyboard. Burdens, we owe you so much, and hope that someday we might be honored enough to help you out in someway. We love you, and all of your animals, more than will ever be able to be expressed.
We have a plan to pursue, we have a pretty nice place to stay, and I am with Jacob. I think right now that is all that matters.
I knew living on base was always an option. If Jacob decided to stay active duty that would have been the life I would have lived. That was an option I was open too. I created that opening Sept. 11, 2001. Sitting in a McDonald's booth Jacob let me know he was going to join the military. I told him I was not going to be the girlfriend, at the time, that stood in the way of his dreams. I would be beside him to support him. We both agreed in that booth that we would support each other, and if we really couldn't we would end the relationship. I think in that moment we learned one of lives marriage lessons. You must let each other grow.
We have had those kind of conversations many times. This week it happened again. We are at a crossroads. Jacob's leg injury comes with his unit getting ready to deploy. The question to him was "What do you want me to support?". I would support him if he wanted to take R & R and be done for a while. I would do anything in my power to make sure he was not deployed. I would help him work on his next future move.
Jacob's answer was quick. He wanted to anything he could to be deployed with his unit. So I am full on supporting him, and I will do anything I can get him on that deployment. I will not be the wife that stands in the way of his dreams. And honestly if I dug deep that was the decision I was hoping for. I am mentally prepared for a deployment, his heart has been set on this course for over 6 months. This makes the most sense to pursue at this time.
I am in a pretty good place right now. I guess mentally and physically. I have always dreamed about what it would be like to live on base, and here I am getting to experience it. I ran this morning. Let me just take us on a side track for a second. I packed a small carry on suitcase when I came down here. I packed 3 days worth of clothes. I thought at the longest that is how long I would be here. At a last minute thought I packed my running shoes. My thought was if I needed closed toes shoes to get in the hospital. Because of that I was able to get outside before Jacob woke up and get in a run. I needed that so much. Okay back to the post... I ran this morning. Went all around some of the small, army housing neighborhoods. It was a nice change of scenery, and the neighborhoods were cute. Now I am not one to think living on base has no downfalls, but it was a run that helped clear my head, and helped me appreciate the time I have to be here. I am kinda living a dream.
I can't express how much the messages, wall posts, and texts have meant to us. It was so nice to have the support from our friends and family. The prayers and positive thoughts have created a bubble of peace, and a sense of support that we needed. There are truly no words to express how that can feel.
The last mushy part of this will most likely bring me to tears as I type it. Our love for our friends Jeff and Sara Burden can not be matched. We are so thankful that we can call them friends. They have dropped their own lives to move their small zoo, into our house, with our small zoo, so that I can stay here with Jacob. True friends like them do not come around but once in a lifetime. We are so truly blessed that we can call them friends, and there will never be any way to pay them back. Army families have the pride of calling ourselves with titles like "Army wife", and they deserve the title "Army Friends" and they should wear that with just as much pride. True to my words, I am crying so hard my nose is running, and tears are splattered across the keyboard. Burdens, we owe you so much, and hope that someday we might be honored enough to help you out in someway. We love you, and all of your animals, more than will ever be able to be expressed.
We have a plan to pursue, we have a pretty nice place to stay, and I am with Jacob. I think right now that is all that matters.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
The adventures of Jacob
I am writing this from my IPad, so I will type as long as I can before I get annoyed with the chicken pecking. Here is a general run through of what has taken place.
Wednesday, July 20
2:30 a.m. I get a call from Red Cross. Jacob had been injured during a night jump. It was not life threatening. No other information can be given. I had total deja vu to when he was injured in Iraq. I go into Army wife mode. I call the medical center at Ft. Bragg, where his jump took place. I spend the next 45 minutes being transferred around, I am connected to the ER at Wolmack Army Medical Center. A PA let's me know he has broken two bones in his leg, it is not life threatening, and he would be having surgery soon. He told me to go to sleep and wait for a call later on.....easier said than done. I call my parents, my in-laws, and our friends the Burdens. I never got back to sleep for longer than 45 minutes...
4:30 a.m. I get a call from Jacob. He was drugged up and I could barely understand him. He told me he had drank some water so they had to wait to do surgery. I asked him what he wanted me to do....he said wait
I packed a bag, and made sure I had a plan for the animals. Then I waited...or tried to. I'm not very good at that part. I've been dealing with the military for 9 years. I know you have to do the work to get answers. I called, was transferred, waited on hold, was hung up on, and still got few answers. Around noon I found out Jacob was in the recovery ward. For how long, or how much longer I could not be told. Around 2:30 I learn he has been moved into a room, and they give me a number, but refuse to transfer me. I try the number....it goes to a generic voicemail. I was royally pissed. I was so frustrated I seriously thought I was going to crawl out of my own skin.
4:30 p.m. Jacob calls! He got me the right direct line. He was still really groggy. He couldn't really tell me what had been done to his leg. He knew he came down on the runway to fast, causing the injury, and there were 3 others from his jump somewhere in the hospital too. Then he said "I want you here" I was literally putting my bags in the car before we hung up.
5:00 p.m. I am smack dab in the middle of rush hour traffic.
11:00 p.m. I stop in Florance, SC. I drove as far as I could on my 45 minutes of sleep. My body finally gave into sleep around 1:30 a.m.
Thursday, July 21
5:00 a.m. The alarm goes off. I get up and out.
7:30 a.m. I get clearance to get on Ft. Bragg, and find the hospital. I have been next to Jacob's bed since.
The "Facts"
* this is quoted because nothing in the military is set in stone until you are in the present doing what they said. All is suject to change.
- Jacob has a rod that is attached by two screws to his knee, and three screws attching it to his ankle. He has a metal plate in his ankle connected by two screws that may be removed. Just the two screws, everything else will be needed for him to gain his leg function back. All this is in his right lower leg.
- We have been told he will be discharged from the hospital tomorrow.
- Jacob will need to stay at Ft. Bragg for at least two weeks. This base is quite large with at least 3 hotels here on base. I'm working with some lady at getting everything in order. He will need someone to be here with him,as he can really not do anything right now. He will need to stay here so the docs can check up on him frequently.
- No weight on his leg for 6 weeks. He is working on using crutches. After the 6 weeks we will start physical therapy.
- Jacob has asked his Commander if there is anyway for him to deploy with his unit, he wishes to. The Commander did not say one way or the other.
- Jacob was told he would never jump again. This is still hard for me to hear. My heart aches for him. He loves the thrill of a jump. He will however be able to keep his Airborne Wings, and stay in an Airborne unit. This is an honor Jacob takes seriously, and I am so thankful they will honor the years that he has served so far.
I am going to sleep at the hospital tonight. He is in okay spirits as long as he is drugged up. I can tell when it is getting close to med time. He let me know nights are the worst, which helped my decision to stay here with him.
I have written facts, not emotions. I am running on facts and not emotion at this time. I will have time to process, just not yet. I am sorry if there are typos.... Typing this much on a small screen is a lot more work than I expected.....
Thanks for all of your words, thoughts, and prayers. They are not going un noticed.
Wednesday, July 20
2:30 a.m. I get a call from Red Cross. Jacob had been injured during a night jump. It was not life threatening. No other information can be given. I had total deja vu to when he was injured in Iraq. I go into Army wife mode. I call the medical center at Ft. Bragg, where his jump took place. I spend the next 45 minutes being transferred around, I am connected to the ER at Wolmack Army Medical Center. A PA let's me know he has broken two bones in his leg, it is not life threatening, and he would be having surgery soon. He told me to go to sleep and wait for a call later on.....easier said than done. I call my parents, my in-laws, and our friends the Burdens. I never got back to sleep for longer than 45 minutes...
4:30 a.m. I get a call from Jacob. He was drugged up and I could barely understand him. He told me he had drank some water so they had to wait to do surgery. I asked him what he wanted me to do....he said wait
I packed a bag, and made sure I had a plan for the animals. Then I waited...or tried to. I'm not very good at that part. I've been dealing with the military for 9 years. I know you have to do the work to get answers. I called, was transferred, waited on hold, was hung up on, and still got few answers. Around noon I found out Jacob was in the recovery ward. For how long, or how much longer I could not be told. Around 2:30 I learn he has been moved into a room, and they give me a number, but refuse to transfer me. I try the number....it goes to a generic voicemail. I was royally pissed. I was so frustrated I seriously thought I was going to crawl out of my own skin.
4:30 p.m. Jacob calls! He got me the right direct line. He was still really groggy. He couldn't really tell me what had been done to his leg. He knew he came down on the runway to fast, causing the injury, and there were 3 others from his jump somewhere in the hospital too. Then he said "I want you here" I was literally putting my bags in the car before we hung up.
5:00 p.m. I am smack dab in the middle of rush hour traffic.
11:00 p.m. I stop in Florance, SC. I drove as far as I could on my 45 minutes of sleep. My body finally gave into sleep around 1:30 a.m.
Thursday, July 21
5:00 a.m. The alarm goes off. I get up and out.
7:30 a.m. I get clearance to get on Ft. Bragg, and find the hospital. I have been next to Jacob's bed since.
The "Facts"
* this is quoted because nothing in the military is set in stone until you are in the present doing what they said. All is suject to change.
- Jacob has a rod that is attached by two screws to his knee, and three screws attching it to his ankle. He has a metal plate in his ankle connected by two screws that may be removed. Just the two screws, everything else will be needed for him to gain his leg function back. All this is in his right lower leg.
- We have been told he will be discharged from the hospital tomorrow.
- Jacob will need to stay at Ft. Bragg for at least two weeks. This base is quite large with at least 3 hotels here on base. I'm working with some lady at getting everything in order. He will need someone to be here with him,as he can really not do anything right now. He will need to stay here so the docs can check up on him frequently.
- No weight on his leg for 6 weeks. He is working on using crutches. After the 6 weeks we will start physical therapy.
- Jacob has asked his Commander if there is anyway for him to deploy with his unit, he wishes to. The Commander did not say one way or the other.
- Jacob was told he would never jump again. This is still hard for me to hear. My heart aches for him. He loves the thrill of a jump. He will however be able to keep his Airborne Wings, and stay in an Airborne unit. This is an honor Jacob takes seriously, and I am so thankful they will honor the years that he has served so far.
I am going to sleep at the hospital tonight. He is in okay spirits as long as he is drugged up. I can tell when it is getting close to med time. He let me know nights are the worst, which helped my decision to stay here with him.
I have written facts, not emotions. I am running on facts and not emotion at this time. I will have time to process, just not yet. I am sorry if there are typos.... Typing this much on a small screen is a lot more work than I expected.....
Thanks for all of your words, thoughts, and prayers. They are not going un noticed.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
My thoughts are all over the place
Insomnia. I guess that is what I have. I haven't slept well in almost a month. My mind just whorls and whorls. Last night/this morning I finally must have fallen asleep around 4 a.m. to have my alarm go off at 6:40. And when I woke up, I actually wasn't tired. I am not sure what is going on, but my body is going through something. I am hoping to get my body on a schedule, and one that includes at least 6 hours of sleep....
Divorce. It seems everyday I am reminded, normally by Facebook, of how many people really do get divorced. I know the stats say 50% or maybe even higher, but it seems very prevalent around my life right now. Maybe because people my age are getting close to the 5 year mark, and I guess it is just falling apart. Every time I hear this news my heart breaks, but in the same breath I am reminded how lucky I am to have Jacob who is willing to fight for love just as hard as I am. It has just been weighing on my heart lately.
Alone. I am spending a lot of time alone. I guess that is one of the downsides to deployments. I have been able to talk to Jacob 3 times since he left 8 days ago. Two times was around 11 minutes, and once a sweet 23 minutes. I normally plan for the calls to be about 15 minutes, so picking and choosing what to say is a must. So I guess that leaves me with a lot of thoughts rolling around, which then might lead to my insomnia.
School. It looms near. I don't know if to go in and do a little each day, or savor what I have left of my few days of summer. But that leaves me alone....oh what a cycle.
So my brain is just a ball of mush. It might be because of my sleep problem, which is caused by being alone, which goes into my fear of the looming school year.
So to solve this....
Divorce. It seems everyday I am reminded, normally by Facebook, of how many people really do get divorced. I know the stats say 50% or maybe even higher, but it seems very prevalent around my life right now. Maybe because people my age are getting close to the 5 year mark, and I guess it is just falling apart. Every time I hear this news my heart breaks, but in the same breath I am reminded how lucky I am to have Jacob who is willing to fight for love just as hard as I am. It has just been weighing on my heart lately.
Alone. I am spending a lot of time alone. I guess that is one of the downsides to deployments. I have been able to talk to Jacob 3 times since he left 8 days ago. Two times was around 11 minutes, and once a sweet 23 minutes. I normally plan for the calls to be about 15 minutes, so picking and choosing what to say is a must. So I guess that leaves me with a lot of thoughts rolling around, which then might lead to my insomnia.
School. It looms near. I don't know if to go in and do a little each day, or savor what I have left of my few days of summer. But that leaves me alone....oh what a cycle.
So my brain is just a ball of mush. It might be because of my sleep problem, which is caused by being alone, which goes into my fear of the looming school year.
So to solve this....
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Just writing to write
I was suppose to go to Midtown and run 7 miles this morning. I couldn't sleep. I stayed up until midnight reading The Help. I had trouble getting to sleep. Then I had trouble staying asleep. Really this has been a bit of a problem since I came home from MI almost a month ago. I do not think it is related to Jacob leaving. So when my alarm went off this morning at 6:40...
Well let me back up a little bit further. Earlier this week I had some cysts removed. I went to the doctors thinking they were just blisters that wouldn't go away. They had been around for a month. They didn't hurt, but with my health issues I guess I just wanted to make sure it wasn't anything correlated with ITP. The bumps were not blisters, but cysts that had become hard. The doc had to remove them, well we have some of one left. She told me I couldn't work out for a few days. These were in an area that is easily rubbed by clothing. I went in with no pain, I mean gosh I completed a triathlon with them...but now it hurts. The bandages are big and bulky, and last night every time I woke up I was in pain, which caused me to stay awake even longer each time I was awaken.
So when my alarm went off this morning at 6:40 I felt exhausted and I had a feeling I was in too much pain to make it 7 miles. Which sucks. I wanted to be out there today. Just to get out with people, talk to people. Have a conversation.
I am a people person, who likes to stay busy. This past week I have done a great job of getting out there, and yet keeping with my wife/animal mom responsibilities. Today I haven't left my house.
I spent the first 6 hours I was awake finishing The Help. I just laid in bed and read. I love reading. So this was an enjoyable way to start the morning. Then I got up to eat and went to the living room. I am still in the living room 7 hours later. I did get up and eat, take care of the animals, do some cleaning, and got a few things done on my to do list, but I am still here. I have not gotten in the car, haven't called anyone on the phone. Just been in the house with me and the zoo.
Maybe this was what I needed. A chill day. I just have to make sure this doesn't happen more often than once a week. I can see a fine line between staying sane and insane during deployments. I want to stay on the sane side...
Well let me back up a little bit further. Earlier this week I had some cysts removed. I went to the doctors thinking they were just blisters that wouldn't go away. They had been around for a month. They didn't hurt, but with my health issues I guess I just wanted to make sure it wasn't anything correlated with ITP. The bumps were not blisters, but cysts that had become hard. The doc had to remove them, well we have some of one left. She told me I couldn't work out for a few days. These were in an area that is easily rubbed by clothing. I went in with no pain, I mean gosh I completed a triathlon with them...but now it hurts. The bandages are big and bulky, and last night every time I woke up I was in pain, which caused me to stay awake even longer each time I was awaken.
So when my alarm went off this morning at 6:40 I felt exhausted and I had a feeling I was in too much pain to make it 7 miles. Which sucks. I wanted to be out there today. Just to get out with people, talk to people. Have a conversation.
I am a people person, who likes to stay busy. This past week I have done a great job of getting out there, and yet keeping with my wife/animal mom responsibilities. Today I haven't left my house.
I spent the first 6 hours I was awake finishing The Help. I just laid in bed and read. I love reading. So this was an enjoyable way to start the morning. Then I got up to eat and went to the living room. I am still in the living room 7 hours later. I did get up and eat, take care of the animals, do some cleaning, and got a few things done on my to do list, but I am still here. I have not gotten in the car, haven't called anyone on the phone. Just been in the house with me and the zoo.
Maybe this was what I needed. A chill day. I just have to make sure this doesn't happen more often than once a week. I can see a fine line between staying sane and insane during deployments. I want to stay on the sane side...
Friday, July 15, 2011
Protection
Lola is our first dog we have had as a Jacob and Amanda family. I wrote about her back in 2009. Lola came to the rescue when I really needed her. Ever since that fateful morning our connection has been a tight one.
Lola is my protector. Sometimes too much of one, but secretly I take solace when she is barking at a stranger.
I was reminded of our bond yesterday at the dog park. Lola acts differently at the park when I am there alone. Lola will only play within a perimeter, and if anyone comes within the perimeter she will position herself between me and the stranger. Yesterday there was a guy who came within the perimeter she had set up. She was not going to have it. She got in between us and barked. She can make herself sound really scary. I always apologize to the others, but I will rarely tell Lola 'no'.
She will do the same thing if we are meeting new people, be that on a walk, or at the house. Lola will let her guard down when I hug, or get in a close proximity to the other person. I know Lola can sense if I know people or not, and if I am comfortable. We are just connected like that.
Lola always positions herself between me and the door. In the living room she is always between me and front door. In bed she is always on my side that is closest to the door. This is just her.
I feel so safe in the house with this 'monster'. I love her quirky behavior. I love what a good girl she is. I love how I know she will protect me to the end. I also know Jacob breaths a little easier knowing Lola is with me.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
A Day in the Life of....
I am on day 4 since Jacob left. I have had a really crazy summer since I went on break. I know I don't have real kids, but my 5 kids needed some structure to their days. A routine. So I have tried for the past 4 days to get everyone into a routine that will work for me, and them.
7:00 a.m. - Wake up. At least this is when my alarm goes off. The first 3 days Lucie woke me up closer to 6 a.m., but this morning we all made it until the alarm went off.
7:00 - 7:30 - Wii Fit Yoga/Strength train. I have a routine that I do on the Wii. Every morning for 21 minutes.
7:30 - 8:00 - Breakfast. Watch the news. The zoo gets fed too.
8:00 - 9:00 - Get ready. Sometime this is just getting ready to go out. Sometimes it includes some light cleaning around the house.
9:00 - Leave the house. So far this week I have been able to have plenty to do, to get out. This means all the animals go into the basement. They have a full basement to have the run of while we are gone. This is one of the things I want them to get in their routine. I don't want this to take forever to do. I want them to know when I open the basement door in the morning they all must go down. This week Simon, and Lucie were the only trouble makers. Today was much better than Monday, so we are making progress.
The rest of the day I just get things done on my to do list. I stop by my classroom each day, and just do a little at a time in there. I am feeling pretty okay about how that is turning out.
5:00 p.m. - Home. Everyday I try to make sure to be home by 5. This is a very doable time during the school year, so the animals all get fed around this time. I have been trying to eat at this time too.
The rest of the evening I get my workout in, do some heavier cleaning if needed, and I will try to take the dogs for a walk or to the park at least 2 nights a week. I think during the school year this will be Mondays and Fridays.
10:00 - In bed. During the summer this doesn't mean I go to sleep, but I want them to get the idea what time bedtime will be. Monday night the girls were a little crazy, but last night both of them were ready for bed when I was.
This all might seem a little over kill for some of you, I mean like I said I don't have real children, but I am one who wants to make my life as easy as possible. Holding down a full time job, a house, and everything that comes with it, a small zoo, and trying to keep up my personal training is a lot for one person. Especially when I got a little used to having someone else to help with it all. I think the Lord was looking out for me when he made Jacob's plans. It is perfect. I start out with around 2 weeks on my own, a little relief, a month alone, and then some relief, and so on... I have some time to practice before having to do it alone for a year.
So far so good. 4 days down.....
7:00 a.m. - Wake up. At least this is when my alarm goes off. The first 3 days Lucie woke me up closer to 6 a.m., but this morning we all made it until the alarm went off.
7:00 - 7:30 - Wii Fit Yoga/Strength train. I have a routine that I do on the Wii. Every morning for 21 minutes.
7:30 - 8:00 - Breakfast. Watch the news. The zoo gets fed too.
8:00 - 9:00 - Get ready. Sometime this is just getting ready to go out. Sometimes it includes some light cleaning around the house.
9:00 - Leave the house. So far this week I have been able to have plenty to do, to get out. This means all the animals go into the basement. They have a full basement to have the run of while we are gone. This is one of the things I want them to get in their routine. I don't want this to take forever to do. I want them to know when I open the basement door in the morning they all must go down. This week Simon, and Lucie were the only trouble makers. Today was much better than Monday, so we are making progress.
The rest of the day I just get things done on my to do list. I stop by my classroom each day, and just do a little at a time in there. I am feeling pretty okay about how that is turning out.
5:00 p.m. - Home. Everyday I try to make sure to be home by 5. This is a very doable time during the school year, so the animals all get fed around this time. I have been trying to eat at this time too.
The rest of the evening I get my workout in, do some heavier cleaning if needed, and I will try to take the dogs for a walk or to the park at least 2 nights a week. I think during the school year this will be Mondays and Fridays.
10:00 - In bed. During the summer this doesn't mean I go to sleep, but I want them to get the idea what time bedtime will be. Monday night the girls were a little crazy, but last night both of them were ready for bed when I was.
This all might seem a little over kill for some of you, I mean like I said I don't have real children, but I am one who wants to make my life as easy as possible. Holding down a full time job, a house, and everything that comes with it, a small zoo, and trying to keep up my personal training is a lot for one person. Especially when I got a little used to having someone else to help with it all. I think the Lord was looking out for me when he made Jacob's plans. It is perfect. I start out with around 2 weeks on my own, a little relief, a month alone, and then some relief, and so on... I have some time to practice before having to do it alone for a year.
So far so good. 4 days down.....
Monday, July 11, 2011
First Olympic Race Report
So here is where I predicted what I would do....
And below is what I really did:
**For some reason I can't get my actual results. I will post my actual times for each thing when I can get them.
The Night Before: I got my 3 large water bottles ready with fluids. I can't take straight sugary drinks, so I had two water bottle with 1/2 G2 and 1/2 water. My other bottle just water. Those were in the freezer of the hotel fridge. We had a big dinner of spaghetti, veggies, grain rolls, veggie salad, mash potatoes and chocolate cake. I drank a lot of water. I put on my number tattoos, and stickers on all the appropriate places. I laid out all of my clothes, and I already had my transition bag ready. I drank 3/4 of a G2 20 oz blue drink.
Wake Up: The alarm went off at 5:30. I got up and finished my G2 drink. I ate a wheat deli thin with peanut butter, and finished getting ready. Jacob pumped up my bike tires, and we checked out the hotel room. We were close enough to walk to transition .
Set Up: We got to transition before 6:30. I had plenty of time to set up my area. I had a really good spot for my bike, it was the closest rack to the bike in and out. I didn't have to walk my bike very far at all. There were buses that took the races to the swim start. It was a mile upstream from transition. I had eaten an energy bar, and I took a chocolate gel 30 minutes before my drop in the water.
Swim: They put us in line number 1 - 1400. I was number 1210. The race actually started at 7:30 but I didn't get in the water until closer to 8:30. We walked onto a floating dock, got in the water, and then hung on the side of the dock. A volunteer typed in your number on the computer, and said go. I was off. I had thought there would be less swimmers around me, but I didn't freak out as badly as I have in past. I did some side stroking, and just kept my heart rate down. There were buoys every 100 meters so I started counting them. When I got to 500 I celebrated in my head thinking I was 1/2 way. I still wasn't putting my face in the water but the swimmers had thinned out, and I was doing a really strong back stroke. When I got to 700 meters I then realized that I had to count 15 buoys not 10. HA! I think I did laugh out loud. I just kept swimming. I did have a mental battle, telling myself to put my face in the water and get some free stroking done. I would put my face down in the water, and then come up for air, and want to back stroke. Around 900 ( I think I lost count...) the water got really choppy. While I was back stroking water was pushing me backwards, and I was pretty far from any other swimmer. It was under all of the bridges when I thought the water started pushing me around. When I thought I was at 1300 I finally forced myself to get my face in the water. I was doing free style for almost 100 yards and ready to push hard through the rest, and I looked up and saw I had made it to the dock. I must have miscounted so I had a really strong finish. They pulled me up to another floating dock, and then I had to get up some stairs to transition. When I got up the stairs I saw the Get Fit Atlanta cheering section, and gave them a fist pump! I looked down at my watch and it said 37 minutes. That is an AMAZING time!
T1: I jogged all the way to my transition. I threw off my swim cap, and goggles. I started eating 3 pieces of a shot block. While I was chewing I wiped the grass off my feet and put on my socks and shoes. I put an entire shot block, already opened, in my tri suit pocket. Threw on my sunglasses, gloves, and helmet. Grabbed my bike and away I went. I think transition took 3 minutes.
Bike: To start I was just spinning to see how my legs felt. To my surprise they felt really good. We had to go up an on ramp to the highway that we biked on. Then the rolling hills started! There were quite a few hills that were longer than 1/2 a mile to climb. There were a couple hills that I was in my lowest gear going 6 mph, and I got up to 31 mph going down two of the hills. I took some water/G2 mix almost every mile. I finished 1 and 3/4 of the other bottle while out there. I took 1/2 of my shot block at mile 7 and the other 1/2 right before mile 17. I tried really hard to just stay in the moment and look around. It was beautiful out in the hills. I would say to myself I am at mile ___ and I am going ___ mph. How do I feel? I felt pretty strong for the entire bike. Each hill I just took it one at a time. I said you made it up the others, slow and steady wins the race. I saw some Get Fit people on the other side of the highway. It was just a boost to see them out there. I met up with John Bips at the end of the bike and we ended the bike really strong. I think the bike took around 2 hours.
T2: I ran my bike in, and it was so close it was perfect. I took off my helmet, and put on my headband. I switched my shoes, and ate the other 1/2 of the shot block that was left. I put a chocolate gel in my tri suit, and I was off. This transition maybe took 2 minutes.
Run: I jogged out of transition, and kept jogging for a bit, but I didn't even make it a mile before I had to walk. It was hot. There were stairs, two sets, to go up at 0.4 of a mile. I walked up the stairs. I tried to give myself goals to run for. Like run to that lamp post, start running at the blue bridge. I felt like I did more walking than running, but my first few miles were around 11 minutes. Between mile 2 and 3 there were ice and water hoses. I was sprayed and placed ice all over. They had wet, cold towels and I soaked my head with the water, and carried on. I saw a lot of Get Fit people so that was encouraging. They were all headed back, but I just told myself I would finish. I walked through each water stop and took a cup of water. I took my gel earlier tan I thought I would. I chocked that down about mile 2.5. Mile 3.2 was the turn around, and that's when I really struggled. Mile 4 and 5 were the longest miles I have ever run. It was so HOT, I felt like I couldn't get my breath to keep running, and my body was tired. I knew I would finish, but I was really struggling. Around mile 5 I finally told myself you will do it. I jogged almost the entire way to the end. I did walk down the stairs, and up a small hill. When I saw the finish line I did sprint, I told myself you will finish strong. It was hard to force myself to speed up, but I finished strong! The run took about 1 hour and 15 I think. Again I don't have the official results yet, so I am estimating.
FINAL TIME: 3 hours 45 minutes
Overall I felt pretty strong during, and after this race. It was my best swim to date. I trained really hard for this race, and it really proved to help. The heat index was around 104 degrees, so the heat was an issue for all racers. I tried to fuel properly. At the end of the race I felt exhaustion. I didn't want to eat or drink, and my stomach was super upset. I tried to take in some salty chips, and I drank some Powerade. I didn't really feel better until I was changed, and eating some lunch at Cracker Barrel.
This race wouldn't have happened without my support crew of family and friends. Of course Jacob and Sara made a HUGE difference the day of. Get Fit has given me the plan, the friends, and the motivation to really make this happen. I love this group! My next race is Acworth Womens Tri. It is a sprint, and I did it last year, so it a lot less stress. I am ready for it now! I feel a huge sence of accomplishment with this step up in the racing world. Who knows maybe a 1/2 Ironman is in the future!
Here are my pics!
And below is what I really did:
**For some reason I can't get my actual results. I will post my actual times for each thing when I can get them.
The Night Before: I got my 3 large water bottles ready with fluids. I can't take straight sugary drinks, so I had two water bottle with 1/2 G2 and 1/2 water. My other bottle just water. Those were in the freezer of the hotel fridge. We had a big dinner of spaghetti, veggies, grain rolls, veggie salad, mash potatoes and chocolate cake. I drank a lot of water. I put on my number tattoos, and stickers on all the appropriate places. I laid out all of my clothes, and I already had my transition bag ready. I drank 3/4 of a G2 20 oz blue drink.
Wake Up: The alarm went off at 5:30. I got up and finished my G2 drink. I ate a wheat deli thin with peanut butter, and finished getting ready. Jacob pumped up my bike tires, and we checked out the hotel room. We were close enough to walk to transition .
Set Up: We got to transition before 6:30. I had plenty of time to set up my area. I had a really good spot for my bike, it was the closest rack to the bike in and out. I didn't have to walk my bike very far at all. There were buses that took the races to the swim start. It was a mile upstream from transition. I had eaten an energy bar, and I took a chocolate gel 30 minutes before my drop in the water.
Swim: They put us in line number 1 - 1400. I was number 1210. The race actually started at 7:30 but I didn't get in the water until closer to 8:30. We walked onto a floating dock, got in the water, and then hung on the side of the dock. A volunteer typed in your number on the computer, and said go. I was off. I had thought there would be less swimmers around me, but I didn't freak out as badly as I have in past. I did some side stroking, and just kept my heart rate down. There were buoys every 100 meters so I started counting them. When I got to 500 I celebrated in my head thinking I was 1/2 way. I still wasn't putting my face in the water but the swimmers had thinned out, and I was doing a really strong back stroke. When I got to 700 meters I then realized that I had to count 15 buoys not 10. HA! I think I did laugh out loud. I just kept swimming. I did have a mental battle, telling myself to put my face in the water and get some free stroking done. I would put my face down in the water, and then come up for air, and want to back stroke. Around 900 ( I think I lost count...) the water got really choppy. While I was back stroking water was pushing me backwards, and I was pretty far from any other swimmer. It was under all of the bridges when I thought the water started pushing me around. When I thought I was at 1300 I finally forced myself to get my face in the water. I was doing free style for almost 100 yards and ready to push hard through the rest, and I looked up and saw I had made it to the dock. I must have miscounted so I had a really strong finish. They pulled me up to another floating dock, and then I had to get up some stairs to transition. When I got up the stairs I saw the Get Fit Atlanta cheering section, and gave them a fist pump! I looked down at my watch and it said 37 minutes. That is an AMAZING time!
T1: I jogged all the way to my transition. I threw off my swim cap, and goggles. I started eating 3 pieces of a shot block. While I was chewing I wiped the grass off my feet and put on my socks and shoes. I put an entire shot block, already opened, in my tri suit pocket. Threw on my sunglasses, gloves, and helmet. Grabbed my bike and away I went. I think transition took 3 minutes.
Bike: To start I was just spinning to see how my legs felt. To my surprise they felt really good. We had to go up an on ramp to the highway that we biked on. Then the rolling hills started! There were quite a few hills that were longer than 1/2 a mile to climb. There were a couple hills that I was in my lowest gear going 6 mph, and I got up to 31 mph going down two of the hills. I took some water/G2 mix almost every mile. I finished 1 and 3/4 of the other bottle while out there. I took 1/2 of my shot block at mile 7 and the other 1/2 right before mile 17. I tried really hard to just stay in the moment and look around. It was beautiful out in the hills. I would say to myself I am at mile ___ and I am going ___ mph. How do I feel? I felt pretty strong for the entire bike. Each hill I just took it one at a time. I said you made it up the others, slow and steady wins the race. I saw some Get Fit people on the other side of the highway. It was just a boost to see them out there. I met up with John Bips at the end of the bike and we ended the bike really strong. I think the bike took around 2 hours.
T2: I ran my bike in, and it was so close it was perfect. I took off my helmet, and put on my headband. I switched my shoes, and ate the other 1/2 of the shot block that was left. I put a chocolate gel in my tri suit, and I was off. This transition maybe took 2 minutes.
Run: I jogged out of transition, and kept jogging for a bit, but I didn't even make it a mile before I had to walk. It was hot. There were stairs, two sets, to go up at 0.4 of a mile. I walked up the stairs. I tried to give myself goals to run for. Like run to that lamp post, start running at the blue bridge. I felt like I did more walking than running, but my first few miles were around 11 minutes. Between mile 2 and 3 there were ice and water hoses. I was sprayed and placed ice all over. They had wet, cold towels and I soaked my head with the water, and carried on. I saw a lot of Get Fit people so that was encouraging. They were all headed back, but I just told myself I would finish. I walked through each water stop and took a cup of water. I took my gel earlier tan I thought I would. I chocked that down about mile 2.5. Mile 3.2 was the turn around, and that's when I really struggled. Mile 4 and 5 were the longest miles I have ever run. It was so HOT, I felt like I couldn't get my breath to keep running, and my body was tired. I knew I would finish, but I was really struggling. Around mile 5 I finally told myself you will do it. I jogged almost the entire way to the end. I did walk down the stairs, and up a small hill. When I saw the finish line I did sprint, I told myself you will finish strong. It was hard to force myself to speed up, but I finished strong! The run took about 1 hour and 15 I think. Again I don't have the official results yet, so I am estimating.
FINAL TIME: 3 hours 45 minutes
Overall I felt pretty strong during, and after this race. It was my best swim to date. I trained really hard for this race, and it really proved to help. The heat index was around 104 degrees, so the heat was an issue for all racers. I tried to fuel properly. At the end of the race I felt exhaustion. I didn't want to eat or drink, and my stomach was super upset. I tried to take in some salty chips, and I drank some Powerade. I didn't really feel better until I was changed, and eating some lunch at Cracker Barrel.
This race wouldn't have happened without my support crew of family and friends. Of course Jacob and Sara made a HUGE difference the day of. Get Fit has given me the plan, the friends, and the motivation to really make this happen. I love this group! My next race is Acworth Womens Tri. It is a sprint, and I did it last year, so it a lot less stress. I am ready for it now! I feel a huge sence of accomplishment with this step up in the racing world. Who knows maybe a 1/2 Ironman is in the future!
Here are my pics!
Saturday, July 9, 2011
5 Years
Jacob got home out of drill earlier than first thought, so he was home by 4. He came home with flowers and a card! It was special. I already technically had my anniversary gift, which was an anniversary band for the top of my engagement/wedding ring. He had wanted to get my rings soldered together, so he had to tell me ahead of time. He picked out a matching band to my wedding band, so it looks perfect. It was a great gift! I had Jacob open his card first, and when he did he laughed. I soon found out it was because he had bought the same card. The card did fit perfectly to how our first 5 years had gone. More on that later.... He has the Harry Potter hard cover box set coming soon. It got back ordered, so it didn't arrive in time. I cooked a special dinner. Now to those who know me, you know I don't cook, so that was a special event in itself. The rest of the night was low key, as we just watched tv and rested. The perfect night for both of us. Well needed!
Now that it has been 5 years, we can look back and learn from our mistakes. Marriage is not easy, and anyone who says differently I don't feel is in a good marriage. 5 years ago we moved in together for the first time, and we had to learn how to live in tiny (800 sq ft) space together. I was finishing my undergrad, and working 3rd shift, Jacob was working 2 part time jobs. Within 6 months of being newly weds we moved our entire lives 14 hours away from friends and family. 2 years into our marriage, and almost at a point we felt like Atlanta was becoming home, I fell very ill. Almost 7 months of uncertainly, and mood swings. It was a test for any marriage, especially one still so new. I went back to school for my Masters, followed 4 months later with Jacob going to school for his Bachelors. We were both full time students, while working full time jobs, and Jacob still in the Reserves. While trying to keep our heads above the water, our relationship was put to the test.
I will not type here about how perfect our relationship is, as that is not true. We have both made mistakes, but the thing about our relationship is that we are both willing to learn from our mistakes, and move forward. We have had to work hard to be at the 5 year mark. Neither one of us gave up, even when it would have been so much easier not to fight for love anymore.
We are where we are today because of the past. I am not one to regret things, and I do not regret any of my actions these past 5 years. I think our relationship is stronger because of the struggles. We have been through sickness, and health, we have been richer, and poor, busy, and not so busy, happy, and sad, but underneath it all I can honestly say our love has withstood it all.
I know when I saw the card, that I bought, it said pretty much that. It is rare when you find a card that puts what you are feeling onto paper so adequately. Then to find out Jacob felt the same way, and purchased the same card. Wow. I think for the first time in 5 years our love is at the same place. This will most likely only last for a while, but we are on equal ground for now.
The best part of the card was on the front it stated: Together Forever. That was the title listed on our wedding slide show, 5 years ago. Sweet love.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
I just couldn't get up
I was suppose to get up at 5:30 this morning so I could make Jacob some breakfast and tea before he took off. I didn't sleep well. That might even be an understatement. I went to bed at 10 last night with Jacob. Yet, I laid awake. I finally feel asleep but I don't think I ever made it to the deep sleep I was wanting. I kept waking up, moving around, I had some crazy dreams. This happened all night long. So when my alarm went off, I felt as if I couldn't move my body.
So Jacob got up this morning, without me, and off to Warner Robbins he went. I wonder if part of my issue getting up was that I knew I didn't have to get up. Jacob has gone to drill a million times without me getting up. I may have sub consciously thought if I didn't get up maybe he wouldn't leave.
Either way he is gone. This time for two days. He will be back Friday night, and we will leave for my triathlon on Saturday. He will go back on Monday. It is a nice way to ease into a deployment. Each time will get a little longer, with a few days in between.
While I was cleaning my basement I went through and threw out a lot of old binders. I somehow came across a packet of poems I had to write for a class. We had to write a poem for 7 different forms. This class must have taken place during Jacob's first deployment. Here is the only poem I felt was relevant.
So Jacob got up this morning, without me, and off to Warner Robbins he went. I wonder if part of my issue getting up was that I knew I didn't have to get up. Jacob has gone to drill a million times without me getting up. I may have sub consciously thought if I didn't get up maybe he wouldn't leave.
Either way he is gone. This time for two days. He will be back Friday night, and we will leave for my triathlon on Saturday. He will go back on Monday. It is a nice way to ease into a deployment. Each time will get a little longer, with a few days in between.
While I was cleaning my basement I went through and threw out a lot of old binders. I somehow came across a packet of poems I had to write for a class. We had to write a poem for 7 different forms. This class must have taken place during Jacob's first deployment. Here is the only poem I felt was relevant.
Jacob, wait
Jacob, wait
That is what I wanted to say
What I wanted to yell
I wanted to say thanks for the macaroni and cheese
It was really great
You are a great cook
I wanted to tell you
But I couldn't
Jacob, wait
That is what I wanted to say
What I wanted to yell
This time together was great
Thanks for spoiling me
Being so supportive
That is what I wanted to say
It really meant a lot to me
Jacob, wait
That is what I wanted to say
What I wanted to yell
I love you, and will miss you
You are brave and I am so proud
I couldn't say what I wanted
My eyes welled up with tears
And I didn't want to make it harder for you
Jacob, wait
That is what I wanted to say
What I wanted to yell
As I got on my tiptoes for one last kiss
One last embrace
I turned around, and left
Walked through the doors and never looked back
I just couldn't.... I just couldn't...
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
The end of June brings July
Okay.
Wow.
July 6th.
I can not believe that it is July 6. June 26 brought Jacob's graduation. He walked in his graduation with honors! I was proud of him. He has worked very hard to complete his Bachelors. It is a huge accomplishment to get through, and it is done!
After Jacob's graduation we left for four days in Tybee Island, GA, with his parents. My in-laws had rented a house for us. It was really close to the beach, and we were able to take our girls with us. It was a nice way to relax a little bit after my eventful June. Jacob and I love the beach, so it was a great few days. I finished the book Gone With the Wind. That was a huge accomplishment for me. It was a great book, just really big, and long. But if you have not read it, and you enjoy historical fiction I would totally suggest it.
We drove back from the beach July 1st, and my mom and Duane pulled in the driveway 30 minutes after we got home. We got so much done while they were here. Duane has let us know we have some major water damage, and might need a whole new back deck. We are waiting on insurance to come out and assess the damage. We reorganized the entire basement, which is a HUGE accomplishment. We watched the whole movie (all 4 hours) of Gone With the Wind. We took Duane on his first ride on public transportation. We went to a Braves game, where we saw a grand slam, they won, and there were fireworks. We reorganized our kitchen, and put in new shelves in a closet. Mom and I went to the Margaret Mitchel house, and Gone With the Wind museum. We enjoyed a wet 4th of July firework show. We went to two Army bases, and explored around. Mom and I got mani and pedis. The boys cleared the gutter, and tried to fix as much of the water damage as possible. Then to top it all off we re-landscaped the front yard. WOW! We did all of that in 5 days.
Now we move into triathlon mode. It is Sunday. I am starting to get nervous, but glad I have been really busy up to now. Jacob leaves for two days tomorrow, then he will be back for the triathlon, then we start deployment. I am ready for my summer to calm down a bit. I have loved this summer so far, and hope to relax enough to get ready to head back into the school year. Here are some pics from the last 2 weeks.
Wow.
July 6th.
I can not believe that it is July 6. June 26 brought Jacob's graduation. He walked in his graduation with honors! I was proud of him. He has worked very hard to complete his Bachelors. It is a huge accomplishment to get through, and it is done!
After Jacob's graduation we left for four days in Tybee Island, GA, with his parents. My in-laws had rented a house for us. It was really close to the beach, and we were able to take our girls with us. It was a nice way to relax a little bit after my eventful June. Jacob and I love the beach, so it was a great few days. I finished the book Gone With the Wind. That was a huge accomplishment for me. It was a great book, just really big, and long. But if you have not read it, and you enjoy historical fiction I would totally suggest it.
We drove back from the beach July 1st, and my mom and Duane pulled in the driveway 30 minutes after we got home. We got so much done while they were here. Duane has let us know we have some major water damage, and might need a whole new back deck. We are waiting on insurance to come out and assess the damage. We reorganized the entire basement, which is a HUGE accomplishment. We watched the whole movie (all 4 hours) of Gone With the Wind. We took Duane on his first ride on public transportation. We went to a Braves game, where we saw a grand slam, they won, and there were fireworks. We reorganized our kitchen, and put in new shelves in a closet. Mom and I went to the Margaret Mitchel house, and Gone With the Wind museum. We enjoyed a wet 4th of July firework show. We went to two Army bases, and explored around. Mom and I got mani and pedis. The boys cleared the gutter, and tried to fix as much of the water damage as possible. Then to top it all off we re-landscaped the front yard. WOW! We did all of that in 5 days.
Now we move into triathlon mode. It is Sunday. I am starting to get nervous, but glad I have been really busy up to now. Jacob leaves for two days tomorrow, then he will be back for the triathlon, then we start deployment. I am ready for my summer to calm down a bit. I have loved this summer so far, and hope to relax enough to get ready to head back into the school year. Here are some pics from the last 2 weeks.
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