This post will go through two different events, but one overlapping theme.
Last week Wednesday teachers had a workday. That means teachers go in, attend meetings, and finish a LOT of paperwork. Then we have to get our rooms ready for the summer. Unfortunately it is not as easy as just closing the door. Jacob had set up a fish tank. I mean with fish, real plants, and a lot of time consuming responsibilities. I have had a fish tank in my classroom since my first classroom, but this year was the first with real plants. Real plants bring the responsibility up big time. Because of my time constraints Jacob has taken care of the tank, especially this year.
Well he is leaving so it was decided with everything else I will have going on next year, taking care of a classroom tank will not be one of them. He came to take it down. I had to go to a meeting, so when I left my room there was a thriving tank, when I came back it was gone. A large, blank empty space left on my counter.
I cried.
I hated the fish. I only did it for the kids, and Jacob. I don't like doing water changes, I don't like remembering to feed them, I did not like the idea of putting my hand in the water to cut back plants, I did not like having to worry about them over breaks. I disliked the fish. And yet I cried.
Fast forward to today. I had a super busy day, and left the house at 9:30 to come back at 5:30. When I left today our 75 gallon tank was a thriving ecosystem for Jacob's fish. When I got home, the tank was an empty blob in the dinning room.
This time I didn't cry, but I am aware that these all of a sudden empty spaces are stirring a lot of emotions. I am spending my time a lot more wisely, and I know we only have the most of our summer in front of us.
The hope is that he will get the tanks back up and running, when he returns, but until then all things fish will be stored in the basement.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
First Day of Summer Vacation
I will say I did not set an alarm this morning. I stayed in bed way later than I think I will any other time this vacation. I ate stuff-crust pizza for breakfast. I made no list, or had any must get to goals for today. And you know what...I am pretty happy with how today turned out.
I woke up about 7. I think it is just innate that this will happen to me. I am a morning person, and enjoy the morning. However, I would have liked it to be a little later.
But I didn't get out of bed. I turned on the Today Show, and listened with my eyes closed.
Finally got out of bed around 9:30, just to walk to the kitchen to warm up some pizza and bread sticks. I loved it! It counted for my breakfast and lunch, and it was wonderful!
Got into my bathing suit to go swim some laps at 11. I drove all the way there, to find out that they had been furloughed until Tuesday. My heart was sad for me, but sad for the workers of Cobb Aquatics. I know what it feels like to be furloughed, so my heart goes out to them.
Drove back home and went out on the back porch to read Gone With the Wind. I mostly dozed on and off, but did get through a few more chapters. It was partly cloudy, with a light breeze so it was a perfect afternoon.
Jacob had wanted to "celebrate" me finishing another year so we went to a movie. We saw Kung Fu Panda II. It was really cute. I love movie theater popcorn too, so that served as dinner.
We were able to get a few items at Target for our first trip, for which we leave next week Thursday.
When we got home we moved some furniture, just room to room, and I organized three shelves. That just makes me feel so great. I love organizing! I like moving things around in life too, because I feel like my life gets in ruts if I leave things the same for too long.
Now I am here and I feel like my first day of vacation was a success! What a great start!!
I woke up about 7. I think it is just innate that this will happen to me. I am a morning person, and enjoy the morning. However, I would have liked it to be a little later.
But I didn't get out of bed. I turned on the Today Show, and listened with my eyes closed.
Finally got out of bed around 9:30, just to walk to the kitchen to warm up some pizza and bread sticks. I loved it! It counted for my breakfast and lunch, and it was wonderful!
Got into my bathing suit to go swim some laps at 11. I drove all the way there, to find out that they had been furloughed until Tuesday. My heart was sad for me, but sad for the workers of Cobb Aquatics. I know what it feels like to be furloughed, so my heart goes out to them.
Drove back home and went out on the back porch to read Gone With the Wind. I mostly dozed on and off, but did get through a few more chapters. It was partly cloudy, with a light breeze so it was a perfect afternoon.
Jacob had wanted to "celebrate" me finishing another year so we went to a movie. We saw Kung Fu Panda II. It was really cute. I love movie theater popcorn too, so that served as dinner.
We were able to get a few items at Target for our first trip, for which we leave next week Thursday.
When we got home we moved some furniture, just room to room, and I organized three shelves. That just makes me feel so great. I love organizing! I like moving things around in life too, because I feel like my life gets in ruts if I leave things the same for too long.
Now I am here and I feel like my first day of vacation was a success! What a great start!!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Kinda Proud
So I set out to lose just a few more pounds in February. I had set my own small goal. To be honest it was to get to the weight my drivers license says.....
And today I think it is safe to say I made it! I have been at or under my goal for 4 days! So I think it is safe, as long as I don't go crazy this weekend, I have made my goal!
I will be rewarding myself with a new triathlon bag, that I had bribed myself with. I am a happy girl today! I may talk about the struggle at a later date, but for today, I made my goal, and I will bask in that feeling!
And today I think it is safe to say I made it! I have been at or under my goal for 4 days! So I think it is safe, as long as I don't go crazy this weekend, I have made my goal!
I will be rewarding myself with a new triathlon bag, that I had bribed myself with. I am a happy girl today! I may talk about the struggle at a later date, but for today, I made my goal, and I will bask in that feeling!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
The bad, the good, and the truth
So this week has been up and down.
THE BAD - I have enough paperwork to do to give anxiety attacks to the average Joe. I guess that comes with the end of the school year.
I had some work done on a cavity almost 3 weeks ago. It hurt where they had done some work, but I ignored it, thinking it might go away. Finally today I went back in and they "fixed" it. It is sore now, but they just fixed it. But it is a dull annoying pain. Wasn't that suppose to go away?
I had one of the worst runs in a while. I was already kinda in a bad mood, because let's be honest, I have not had a break from my kids for over a week. That is beyond exhausting. I mean they were even eating in the classroom. Well top the bad mood off with a "fix" of the tooth, only to not feel the fix yet, so I thought I will go for a run. I went out at 4:15...bad idea. It was a little over 90 degrees. I picked a route that has NO shade. Bad idea. I ran along a busy road...bad idea. So many fumes, on top of the humidity. My hair band lost its elasticity around mile 1.5. My hair was flowing down my neck almost the whole way. Oh and I picked the route with way too many hills. They killed me. I also decided to run on tired legs. I have not taken a day from exercise in 5 days. My legs were not happy with me. I had to walk a whole lot of the "run" today. I just couldn't get my breath, couldn't get a pace, was sweating more than I have yet this year, and did I mention it was hot?
THE GOOD - School is done for the kids. I have two more days until I am done! Friday is my first day of vacation! YAY!
I should not have tooth pain soon! I am hoping to wake up in the morning and feel no more pain.
I went out and got in a run today. It sucked, yes, but I did it. To quote the Black Eyed Peas again " Once you get moving, don't stop, and soon you will find you are at the top" I needed that song as I struggled up the hills today. I didn't stop. I set out to do 5 miles. I did an out and back route. At any point I could have turned around, and headed back. And don't think that didn't cross my mind at 8/10 of a mile, and every step forward from there. But I did my whole 5 miles. I didn't turn back early. I am proud of that. A bad run now is when I am over 11 minutes a mile. It used to be 16 minutes a mile. So I will consider this a good/bad run.
THE TRUTH - If I really dug down deep into why I seem to be in a bad mood it might be that a huge a milestone has happened. School is over. As happy as I am, at the same time I am in disbelief. This milestone means that next week we begin "weddingpaloza". We start moving from one event to the next, and in quick secession. To Florida for Shane and Diana's wedding, back to GA for a day, me driving to MI with the two dogs for 10 days, Trisha and Rob's wedding, drive back to GA for 5 days, Jacob graduates and the Larkins visit, Tybee Island for 4 days, Mom and Duane come for a visit, our 5 year wedding anniversary, my first Olympic Triathlon, and finally July 11.
July 11 is the day Jacob leaves. If I had to be truthful I think that with school ending, July 11 seems much closer than it did, even this morning. My emotions are crazy. I am so happy to be done with school, so overwhelmed with finishing paperwork, so excited for the two weddings that I get to be witness of this summer, so worried about my training for my triathlon, and so devastated that July 11 will eventually come. I am getting to the point where I want to hold close to each moment, as I know they will be over soon, but in the same breath I don't want to admit that the time is hovering close, so I distance myself.
I should have waited to run today. Not only because of the heat, but I left Jacob at home, when he had to leave for class at 5:00. I could have spent time with him, but instead I pushed my emotions aside, and went for a solo run, to get home after he had already left. This is classic Amanda behavior, and I am hoping to get a grip on what I need before it is too late.
So the truth..... July 11 looms closer today than it ever has.
THE BAD - I have enough paperwork to do to give anxiety attacks to the average Joe. I guess that comes with the end of the school year.
I had some work done on a cavity almost 3 weeks ago. It hurt where they had done some work, but I ignored it, thinking it might go away. Finally today I went back in and they "fixed" it. It is sore now, but they just fixed it. But it is a dull annoying pain. Wasn't that suppose to go away?
I had one of the worst runs in a while. I was already kinda in a bad mood, because let's be honest, I have not had a break from my kids for over a week. That is beyond exhausting. I mean they were even eating in the classroom. Well top the bad mood off with a "fix" of the tooth, only to not feel the fix yet, so I thought I will go for a run. I went out at 4:15...bad idea. It was a little over 90 degrees. I picked a route that has NO shade. Bad idea. I ran along a busy road...bad idea. So many fumes, on top of the humidity. My hair band lost its elasticity around mile 1.5. My hair was flowing down my neck almost the whole way. Oh and I picked the route with way too many hills. They killed me. I also decided to run on tired legs. I have not taken a day from exercise in 5 days. My legs were not happy with me. I had to walk a whole lot of the "run" today. I just couldn't get my breath, couldn't get a pace, was sweating more than I have yet this year, and did I mention it was hot?
THE GOOD - School is done for the kids. I have two more days until I am done! Friday is my first day of vacation! YAY!
I should not have tooth pain soon! I am hoping to wake up in the morning and feel no more pain.
I went out and got in a run today. It sucked, yes, but I did it. To quote the Black Eyed Peas again " Once you get moving, don't stop, and soon you will find you are at the top" I needed that song as I struggled up the hills today. I didn't stop. I set out to do 5 miles. I did an out and back route. At any point I could have turned around, and headed back. And don't think that didn't cross my mind at 8/10 of a mile, and every step forward from there. But I did my whole 5 miles. I didn't turn back early. I am proud of that. A bad run now is when I am over 11 minutes a mile. It used to be 16 minutes a mile. So I will consider this a good/bad run.
THE TRUTH - If I really dug down deep into why I seem to be in a bad mood it might be that a huge a milestone has happened. School is over. As happy as I am, at the same time I am in disbelief. This milestone means that next week we begin "weddingpaloza". We start moving from one event to the next, and in quick secession. To Florida for Shane and Diana's wedding, back to GA for a day, me driving to MI with the two dogs for 10 days, Trisha and Rob's wedding, drive back to GA for 5 days, Jacob graduates and the Larkins visit, Tybee Island for 4 days, Mom and Duane come for a visit, our 5 year wedding anniversary, my first Olympic Triathlon, and finally July 11.
July 11 is the day Jacob leaves. If I had to be truthful I think that with school ending, July 11 seems much closer than it did, even this morning. My emotions are crazy. I am so happy to be done with school, so overwhelmed with finishing paperwork, so excited for the two weddings that I get to be witness of this summer, so worried about my training for my triathlon, and so devastated that July 11 will eventually come. I am getting to the point where I want to hold close to each moment, as I know they will be over soon, but in the same breath I don't want to admit that the time is hovering close, so I distance myself.
I should have waited to run today. Not only because of the heat, but I left Jacob at home, when he had to leave for class at 5:00. I could have spent time with him, but instead I pushed my emotions aside, and went for a solo run, to get home after he had already left. This is classic Amanda behavior, and I am hoping to get a grip on what I need before it is too late.
So the truth..... July 11 looms closer today than it ever has.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
If I could live beyond my fears.
I'd change the world if I could change my mind
If I could live beyond my fears
Exchanging unity for all my insecurity
--Union, Black Eyed Peas
So that song came on while I was running today. I am a HUGE Black Eyed Peas fan. I have four albums on my iPod, and my favorite thing to do is put them on shuffle, and run. I love running to them. Then this song, which is on their album Elephunk which came out in 2003, came on. I have heard it a million times. But these specific words stuck with me today.
I joke around all the time that I will rule the world someday. It is common for me to say "well that will change when I rule the world", mostly in a joking voice, with smile attached to my face. But sometimes I think maybe I do have what it takes, well not to rule the world per say, but definitely make some changes, somehow.
The big thing that I do is I do NOT allow my fears to dictate my life. As I was running I started thinking about this aspect of my life. It is true.
I have an utter fear of drowning - yet I am in the pool at least once a week, and I am a triathlete. I do not allow the fact that I completely freeze, and can't control my breathing stop me from enjoying (well not always enjoying) the water. My swim coach Mike, will still look down at me from the pool deck and say "Amanda...relax..." I tense up, I am not a good swimmer, I am not always sure how I am a triathlete, but I am. This fear will not rule my life, or stop me from becoming the athlete that I visualize.
I have a fear of failure - and yet I continue furthering my degree. This fear comes with grades. Letting myself down mostly, but I can try to rationalize this to not getting an A makes me a bad teacher, a bad person, a bad daughter, a bad wife, a bad friend, and on and on. Now I could have just stopped with my undergrad and left it. I graduated with honors, receiving only two B's. But I signed up for my Masters, and completed each class one by one, each time overthrowing my fear of not getting an A, and coming to terms with what life would be like if I didn't get an A.
I have a fear of being alone - and yet I married into the military, which, if anything, has the consistency of leaving the spouse high and dry. I drag myself through mundane life events all alone. I attend family gatherings, and get together with our couple friends, all alone. I fear going to parties alone, and hate the idea of just shopping for a dress with no one with me. And yet I am alone at least 3 days a month, and we all know what will be my life soon enough.
So to me, I don't really let those fears (I know, many of you are like, those aren't fears, those are just life preferences, but to me they are fears) rule what I do with life. I think because I don't let fears stop me from doing things, I might be able to make some kind of a change. Now I am not putting my bid into the presidential race...yet....just kidding, I am not old enough.... But I hope my point is not lost, as I feel it might be.
I am living out the Black Eyed Peas song. It might be possible for me change the world because I do live beyond my fears. I hope others can too. The song is a great one. I felt pretty inspired to do something. Read it below if you feel like it:
If I could live beyond my fears
Exchanging unity for all my insecurity
--Union, Black Eyed Peas
So that song came on while I was running today. I am a HUGE Black Eyed Peas fan. I have four albums on my iPod, and my favorite thing to do is put them on shuffle, and run. I love running to them. Then this song, which is on their album Elephunk which came out in 2003, came on. I have heard it a million times. But these specific words stuck with me today.
I joke around all the time that I will rule the world someday. It is common for me to say "well that will change when I rule the world", mostly in a joking voice, with smile attached to my face. But sometimes I think maybe I do have what it takes, well not to rule the world per say, but definitely make some changes, somehow.
The big thing that I do is I do NOT allow my fears to dictate my life. As I was running I started thinking about this aspect of my life. It is true.
I have an utter fear of drowning - yet I am in the pool at least once a week, and I am a triathlete. I do not allow the fact that I completely freeze, and can't control my breathing stop me from enjoying (well not always enjoying) the water. My swim coach Mike, will still look down at me from the pool deck and say "Amanda...relax..." I tense up, I am not a good swimmer, I am not always sure how I am a triathlete, but I am. This fear will not rule my life, or stop me from becoming the athlete that I visualize.
I have a fear of failure - and yet I continue furthering my degree. This fear comes with grades. Letting myself down mostly, but I can try to rationalize this to not getting an A makes me a bad teacher, a bad person, a bad daughter, a bad wife, a bad friend, and on and on. Now I could have just stopped with my undergrad and left it. I graduated with honors, receiving only two B's. But I signed up for my Masters, and completed each class one by one, each time overthrowing my fear of not getting an A, and coming to terms with what life would be like if I didn't get an A.
I have a fear of being alone - and yet I married into the military, which, if anything, has the consistency of leaving the spouse high and dry. I drag myself through mundane life events all alone. I attend family gatherings, and get together with our couple friends, all alone. I fear going to parties alone, and hate the idea of just shopping for a dress with no one with me. And yet I am alone at least 3 days a month, and we all know what will be my life soon enough.
So to me, I don't really let those fears (I know, many of you are like, those aren't fears, those are just life preferences, but to me they are fears) rule what I do with life. I think because I don't let fears stop me from doing things, I might be able to make some kind of a change. Now I am not putting my bid into the presidential race...yet....just kidding, I am not old enough.... But I hope my point is not lost, as I feel it might be.
I am living out the Black Eyed Peas song. It might be possible for me change the world because I do live beyond my fears. I hope others can too. The song is a great one. I felt pretty inspired to do something. Read it below if you feel like it:
"Union"
[Chorus]
(One for all, one for all)
(It's all it's all for one)
Let's start a union, calling every human
It's one for all and all for one
Let's live in unison, calling every citizen
It's one for all and all for one
We don't want war- can't take no more
It's drastic time for sure
We need an antidote and a cure
Cuz do you really think Mohamed got a problem with Jehovah
We don't want war – imagine if any prophet was alive
In current days amongst you and I
You think they'd view life like you and I do
Or would they sit and contemplate on why
Do we live this way, act and behave this way
We still live in primitive today
Cuz the peace in the destination of war can't be the way
There's no way, so people just be a woman, be a man
Realize that you can't change the world by changing yourself
And understand that we're all just the same
So when I count to three let's change
[Chorus]
Got no time for grand philosophy
I barely keep my head above the tide
I got this mortgage, got three kids at school
What you're saying is the truth, but really troubles me inside
I'd change the world if I could change my mind
If I could live beyond my fears
Exchanging unity for all my insecurity
Exchanging laughter for my tears
[Chorus]
I don't know, y'all, we in a real deposition
In the midst of all this negative condition
Divided by beliefs, differences and religion
Why do we keep missing the point in our mission?
Why are we killing each other, what's the reason?
God made us all equal in his vision
I wish that I could make music as a religion
Then we could harmoniz together in this mission
Listen, I know it's really hard to make changes
But two of us could help rearrange, discuss
Utilize the power in our voices
Together we will unite and make the right choice
And fight for education, save the next generation
Come together as one
I don't understand why it's never been done
So let's change on the count of one
It takes one, just one
And then one follows the other one
And then another follows the other one
Next thing you know you got a billion
People doing some wonderful things
People doing some powerful things
Let's change and do some powerful things
Unity could be a wonderful thing
[Chorus]
[Chorus]
(One for all, one for all)
(It's all it's all for one)
Let's start a union, calling every human
It's one for all and all for one
Let's live in unison, calling every citizen
It's one for all and all for one
We don't want war- can't take no more
It's drastic time for sure
We need an antidote and a cure
Cuz do you really think Mohamed got a problem with Jehovah
We don't want war – imagine if any prophet was alive
In current days amongst you and I
You think they'd view life like you and I do
Or would they sit and contemplate on why
Do we live this way, act and behave this way
We still live in primitive today
Cuz the peace in the destination of war can't be the way
There's no way, so people just be a woman, be a man
Realize that you can't change the world by changing yourself
And understand that we're all just the same
So when I count to three let's change
[Chorus]
Got no time for grand philosophy
I barely keep my head above the tide
I got this mortgage, got three kids at school
What you're saying is the truth, but really troubles me inside
I'd change the world if I could change my mind
If I could live beyond my fears
Exchanging unity for all my insecurity
Exchanging laughter for my tears
[Chorus]
I don't know, y'all, we in a real deposition
In the midst of all this negative condition
Divided by beliefs, differences and religion
Why do we keep missing the point in our mission?
Why are we killing each other, what's the reason?
God made us all equal in his vision
I wish that I could make music as a religion
Then we could harmoniz together in this mission
Listen, I know it's really hard to make changes
But two of us could help rearrange, discuss
Utilize the power in our voices
Together we will unite and make the right choice
And fight for education, save the next generation
Come together as one
I don't understand why it's never been done
So let's change on the count of one
It takes one, just one
And then one follows the other one
And then another follows the other one
Next thing you know you got a billion
People doing some wonderful things
People doing some powerful things
Let's change and do some powerful things
Unity could be a wonderful thing
[Chorus]
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Afraid of Burnout
So I have not done a swim, bike, or run in three days. I am afraid.
The past two weeks I have been super hard core into fitness. Each day I woke up and did 20 minutes of yoga. Two days a week I participated in our Staff Fitness Club. That is an hour or so of some high impact stations, with weights. Then on top of that 6 days a week I was doing either a swim, bike, or run. It was intense. It was taking up a lot of my time. But I was enjoying it.....
Until my drive to work today. Well I should be honest, really I started to fear burn out Monday. Monday afternoon I had Staff Fitness Club, and then I was going to go swimming. Well I realized I had a bunch of things to get done for my sister's shower, this weekend. So I ran errands after school instead of hitting up the pool. If I was being honest I probably had time to get to the pool, but I decided I was tired, and went home. When I got home I had the unhappy reality of how much my workouts had disrupted my super clean house. The house was not up to par. I spent the rest of Monday cleaning the house.
Then yesterday I went back to my to do list and noticed I still had a lot of items I needed to get done before I left for MI Friday. So after my after school meeting I went out and about town, with my swim stuff in the back seat. Only to get done and not have any motivation to get to the pool or on my bike. So I didn't. Jacob and I were doing some investigating on our deck, and found a weak spot. We spent some time tearing about some of our house, to find we most likely have some water damage. Estimate to come later. So instead of taking the dogs for a walk, I got a mini blizzard and ate it while watching the Biggest Loser. Writing that out makes me feel like a super BIG LOSER.
Anyway back to this morning. On my way to school I was contemplating my day. I am still doing 20 minutes of yoga in the morning, so I guess I start my day with activity. But today I had planned on staying for our staff fitness club, and then getting home and going to swimming. But at 6:00 a.m. I had already decided that I was not going to make it to swimming. So why? Why all of a sudden do I not want to bike or swim? I am almost at a burn out.
These past few days I noticed how much I had not been getting done around the house. If I had a regular family (meaning not a husband who is super busy with his senior project) I would have been neglecting them too. Not to mention I don't always get a "runners" high from swimming or biking. I need a pick me up. I need some motivation. I need to find a balance.
So tomorrow I am supposed to do Staff Fitness Club, and then bike and run. I need to change that. I am going to go for a short run from my school, right after school. Then get in the car, and get home. I will be able to spend some time with Jacob, and get my regular duties done around the house. I am still going to plan on going out for the bike and run, but just take it easy. No hard core, or going all out. I am kinda excited just to get out and run.
Oh and by the way I did do Staff Fitness Club this afternoon, no swim, but I did take the dogs for a nice hour walk.
But I need to be more aware of a balance. I can't have burn out. Balance. Not burnout. Balance
The past two weeks I have been super hard core into fitness. Each day I woke up and did 20 minutes of yoga. Two days a week I participated in our Staff Fitness Club. That is an hour or so of some high impact stations, with weights. Then on top of that 6 days a week I was doing either a swim, bike, or run. It was intense. It was taking up a lot of my time. But I was enjoying it.....
Until my drive to work today. Well I should be honest, really I started to fear burn out Monday. Monday afternoon I had Staff Fitness Club, and then I was going to go swimming. Well I realized I had a bunch of things to get done for my sister's shower, this weekend. So I ran errands after school instead of hitting up the pool. If I was being honest I probably had time to get to the pool, but I decided I was tired, and went home. When I got home I had the unhappy reality of how much my workouts had disrupted my super clean house. The house was not up to par. I spent the rest of Monday cleaning the house.
Then yesterday I went back to my to do list and noticed I still had a lot of items I needed to get done before I left for MI Friday. So after my after school meeting I went out and about town, with my swim stuff in the back seat. Only to get done and not have any motivation to get to the pool or on my bike. So I didn't. Jacob and I were doing some investigating on our deck, and found a weak spot. We spent some time tearing about some of our house, to find we most likely have some water damage. Estimate to come later. So instead of taking the dogs for a walk, I got a mini blizzard and ate it while watching the Biggest Loser. Writing that out makes me feel like a super BIG LOSER.
Anyway back to this morning. On my way to school I was contemplating my day. I am still doing 20 minutes of yoga in the morning, so I guess I start my day with activity. But today I had planned on staying for our staff fitness club, and then getting home and going to swimming. But at 6:00 a.m. I had already decided that I was not going to make it to swimming. So why? Why all of a sudden do I not want to bike or swim? I am almost at a burn out.
These past few days I noticed how much I had not been getting done around the house. If I had a regular family (meaning not a husband who is super busy with his senior project) I would have been neglecting them too. Not to mention I don't always get a "runners" high from swimming or biking. I need a pick me up. I need some motivation. I need to find a balance.
So tomorrow I am supposed to do Staff Fitness Club, and then bike and run. I need to change that. I am going to go for a short run from my school, right after school. Then get in the car, and get home. I will be able to spend some time with Jacob, and get my regular duties done around the house. I am still going to plan on going out for the bike and run, but just take it easy. No hard core, or going all out. I am kinda excited just to get out and run.
Oh and by the way I did do Staff Fitness Club this afternoon, no swim, but I did take the dogs for a nice hour walk.
But I need to be more aware of a balance. I can't have burn out. Balance. Not burnout. Balance
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Biking is my "okay" sport.
True story. I think triathletes must have at least one sport that they feel only "okay" at. Biking is mine.
See, running is my "good" sport. I am good at running. It comes easy to me. I practice the hardest at this, because it is easier than the other sports. I can do it anywhere. I can put on my clothes, my shoes, and go. I feel the best after I get done running. I have seen the biggest improvement. I started out walking. A mile. And it took over 20 minutes. Now running at 10 minute mile for up to 7 miles is doable. I mean, I have run a marathon for goodness sake. Running is my "good" sport.
Most people know swimming is my "bad" sport. I have this crazy fear of drowning. I HATE putting my face in the water. I freak when people swim around me. I can't get my breathing under control, not to mention my heart rate goes beserk. But I know swimming is my "bad" sport, so I work at it. I listen intently to my swim coach. I try everything they suggest. I listen closely to others talking, and take a lot of advice when it comes to my form, breathing, stroking, and which races to do because of the swim. The swim portion normally determines the tri for me. I practice hard at this "bad" sport. I want to get better. I have seen some improvement. Not as much as I would like, but some. Swimming is still my "bad" sport.
That leaves biking. Biking is my "okay" sport. I can bike. I don't fall over. I have a road bike. I even named her, Alice. In my head, I have two other sports to be worried about. I run a lot because it is my favorite. I swim a lot, because I might seriously not make it through the swim. So when you do those two a lot, that leaves a tired body, and a little time left for biking. I could be a lot better at biking. I mean there are gears on my bike. I don't even know the numbers, or what they are really called. I think I know when to switch gears, but really, I am sure I could be much better at it. Then there is changing a flat tire. I don't know how. This is a must in the tri world. But the motivation is not what it should be. Like I said I can bike. I don't fall over. I can go for a while. I need to be better. I need to get on this.
The last two weeks I have been very aware of this "okay" world. I have gotten in at least 4 bike rides in the past two weeks. Today I did my first 20 miles. I went an average of 15 miles per hour. I am not even sure if that is good, but it is good to me. Even a little better than okay. But as I was pedaling, I was thinking about my form, my pedal control, my switching of the gears, my everything. It would be really easy to make biking a "good" sport. I need to make this a goal this year.
Oh and my other goal, to survive the 1500 meter swim down the Chatanooga River......
See, running is my "good" sport. I am good at running. It comes easy to me. I practice the hardest at this, because it is easier than the other sports. I can do it anywhere. I can put on my clothes, my shoes, and go. I feel the best after I get done running. I have seen the biggest improvement. I started out walking. A mile. And it took over 20 minutes. Now running at 10 minute mile for up to 7 miles is doable. I mean, I have run a marathon for goodness sake. Running is my "good" sport.
Most people know swimming is my "bad" sport. I have this crazy fear of drowning. I HATE putting my face in the water. I freak when people swim around me. I can't get my breathing under control, not to mention my heart rate goes beserk. But I know swimming is my "bad" sport, so I work at it. I listen intently to my swim coach. I try everything they suggest. I listen closely to others talking, and take a lot of advice when it comes to my form, breathing, stroking, and which races to do because of the swim. The swim portion normally determines the tri for me. I practice hard at this "bad" sport. I want to get better. I have seen some improvement. Not as much as I would like, but some. Swimming is still my "bad" sport.
That leaves biking. Biking is my "okay" sport. I can bike. I don't fall over. I have a road bike. I even named her, Alice. In my head, I have two other sports to be worried about. I run a lot because it is my favorite. I swim a lot, because I might seriously not make it through the swim. So when you do those two a lot, that leaves a tired body, and a little time left for biking. I could be a lot better at biking. I mean there are gears on my bike. I don't even know the numbers, or what they are really called. I think I know when to switch gears, but really, I am sure I could be much better at it. Then there is changing a flat tire. I don't know how. This is a must in the tri world. But the motivation is not what it should be. Like I said I can bike. I don't fall over. I can go for a while. I need to be better. I need to get on this.
The last two weeks I have been very aware of this "okay" world. I have gotten in at least 4 bike rides in the past two weeks. Today I did my first 20 miles. I went an average of 15 miles per hour. I am not even sure if that is good, but it is good to me. Even a little better than okay. But as I was pedaling, I was thinking about my form, my pedal control, my switching of the gears, my everything. It would be really easy to make biking a "good" sport. I need to make this a goal this year.
Oh and my other goal, to survive the 1500 meter swim down the Chatanooga River......
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
I am still Alive...I swear
I can't even commit as much time as I would like to on this post. But I feel this tug at my heart to get it out there.
I have been busy. I have been keeping to the NO work brought home, and leaving before 4. I have been trying to get in all three sports (swim, bike, run) two times a week. I have been doing pretty decent. But with all of that, plus the pressures of the end of school, I have had very little time, or energy to get on here.
Tonight I was still a bit weary from my whirl-wind trip home to MI. My flight was delayed, so I got home (to GA) later than I had wanted on Sunday. Home just in time to jump in bed, and get enough sleep to be semi-awake at school. Then Monday I did fitness club after school, drove home quickly to get Jacob and my swimming stuff, and drove up to Acworth beach to get an open water swim in. Not getting home until after 9, which again left me time to get in the shower, and then bed.
So today I packed my running clothes, but the thought that it might rain was in the back of my mind. And really, honestly, I was tired. My body was tired. It was looking for an excuse. Meet Milton.
A foster dog who showed up on the radar last week. We read about his sad story. Him and his sister (Miley) were thrown from a moving vehicle. Picked up by one of the witnesses and brought to a vet. Miley had to have her tail amputated, but over all she was okay. Milton broke his femur/hip. But otherwise he was okay. After making the decision the vet would try to keep his leg, he ended up in this diaper-looking, yellow cast. Jacob and I talked about the two of them, as they were trying to find fosters to help increase the healing. We decided the idea tugged on our heart, but I was leaving for MI (three times in the next 6 weeks), so we didn't act on it.
This morning the same story came through...they had not found anyone to take them in. Seriously???!! This is like the saddest story ever. They were cute. So we acted. Tonight I went up to North Georgia, thinking I would be bringing two puppies home. But to my surprise not even 20 minutes before I got to the vet, Miley had been adopted! HOW WONDERFUL! Milton needs some time to recoup and they need to make sure that his leg will heal, otherwise they will have to amputate it. A lot of pressure. And of course he is all puppy, who wants to go, go, go. We are trying to keep him away from the other dogs, and give him some down time, but when he is with our girls he is running, and barking, and just wants to be a big lovey. He is a big cuddler too!
So I will devote more time to decompressing, and writing in here, in the near future. Writing on here helps me mentally, and I need to make time for that. I feel better already tonight.
I have been busy. I have been keeping to the NO work brought home, and leaving before 4. I have been trying to get in all three sports (swim, bike, run) two times a week. I have been doing pretty decent. But with all of that, plus the pressures of the end of school, I have had very little time, or energy to get on here.
Tonight I was still a bit weary from my whirl-wind trip home to MI. My flight was delayed, so I got home (to GA) later than I had wanted on Sunday. Home just in time to jump in bed, and get enough sleep to be semi-awake at school. Then Monday I did fitness club after school, drove home quickly to get Jacob and my swimming stuff, and drove up to Acworth beach to get an open water swim in. Not getting home until after 9, which again left me time to get in the shower, and then bed.
So today I packed my running clothes, but the thought that it might rain was in the back of my mind. And really, honestly, I was tired. My body was tired. It was looking for an excuse. Meet Milton.
A foster dog who showed up on the radar last week. We read about his sad story. Him and his sister (Miley) were thrown from a moving vehicle. Picked up by one of the witnesses and brought to a vet. Miley had to have her tail amputated, but over all she was okay. Milton broke his femur/hip. But otherwise he was okay. After making the decision the vet would try to keep his leg, he ended up in this diaper-looking, yellow cast. Jacob and I talked about the two of them, as they were trying to find fosters to help increase the healing. We decided the idea tugged on our heart, but I was leaving for MI (three times in the next 6 weeks), so we didn't act on it.
This morning the same story came through...they had not found anyone to take them in. Seriously???!! This is like the saddest story ever. They were cute. So we acted. Tonight I went up to North Georgia, thinking I would be bringing two puppies home. But to my surprise not even 20 minutes before I got to the vet, Miley had been adopted! HOW WONDERFUL! Milton needs some time to recoup and they need to make sure that his leg will heal, otherwise they will have to amputate it. A lot of pressure. And of course he is all puppy, who wants to go, go, go. We are trying to keep him away from the other dogs, and give him some down time, but when he is with our girls he is running, and barking, and just wants to be a big lovey. He is a big cuddler too!
So I will devote more time to decompressing, and writing in here, in the near future. Writing on here helps me mentally, and I need to make time for that. I feel better already tonight.
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