Every Thursday on Facebook my news feed is filled with older photos that had to be scanned to make it on Facebook. It is known as Throwback Thursday, #tbt. I have to say I am mostly indifferent about this. I have yet to put up my own #tbt but have been tagged in a few pics of times gone by. However, it is quite fascinating as I scroll through these photos it seems that after you hit a certain age most of the pictures you post are inevitably from high school.
So every Thursday I am left thinking the same thought. What is the time in my life I would consider "the-time-of-my-life"? I liked high school. I had a good group of friends. I did well in school. I was busy with after school activities. But I never felt like that was it. I couldn't wait for college. Everything I did in high school was to get to my goal. College. Maybe you could read into that as the "I-will-move-out-and-NEVER-come-back" goal. I have fond memories for high school and growing up. But I couldn't wait to get out of there.
College was everything I thought it would be. I went there without knowing anyone. I sobbed when my mom drove away leaving me on the 5th floor of furthest dorm away from campus. I wanted to leave school after 2 months. I met who are now my best friends. I lived the apartment life. I stayed up way too late. Partied. Worked 3rd shift. I had room mates. I really enjoyed college.
But then came my 20's. The normal time in life where most people would say they lived crazy. They have the most regrets of stupid decisions that happened in their 20's. You live day to day, and you have adult cares, without really having to be in the adult world.
Not me. Looking back, my 20's sucked. I know I screwed up the whole you-only-live-once 20's mantra when Jacob and I eloped at the ripe ol' age of 21. And at that point I had already been diagnosed with a blood cancer. Which killed any dream of late night drinking binges. My 20's started out with more stress than I ever imagined. Then my life was thrown for loop after loop. Iraq deployment, Jacob being MIA/flare injury, graduating with my undergrad, a ceremony of our elopement, while on our honeymoon our cruise ship tilted, PTSD, leaving everything but each other to move to Georgia, 8 rounds of chemo, marriage struggles, Jacob goes through his bachelor's degree, I receive my masters, a second deployment, a shattered leg, the backside of our house succumbing to water damage, getting through an unplanned and high risk pregnancy, and then ended my 20s with another 6 rounds of chemo.
There were good times. Just, every time things got good, we were thrown for another loop. My 20's left me feeling like I hadn't made much of myself.
Then it came time to turn 30. I let it come and go very quietly. It was a hard birthday for me. Although my 20s didn't treat me very well, I mourned the idea of moving into my 30s.
But you know what? I am here. And I haven't been happier. I am no where close to where I thought I would be. But I am happy. Right here. Life is not perfect. We struggle. I struggle as a wife and as a mom, but I am just happy. So I won't be scanning in too many pictures of the old times, but rather living in what I have right now. Who knows what the next few years will hold, but my 30's haven't been too bad.
Sunday, July 27, 2014
Sunday, July 13, 2014
Facing Toddler Fears
After the day we found out we were expecting. every day there seems to be some new experience. Surviving morning sickness, avoiding stretch marks, heartburn. Then once "Pat" arrived a whole new bunch of experiences. First bath, feeding, sleeping through the night.
I remember my fears of traveling with Cade for the first time, then flying with him for the first time, then flying alone for the first time. All of Cade's firsts were first for Jacob and I too. And that doesn't stop once they are out of the infant phase.
June was full of toddler firsts for this mom. I am such a planner, that I seem to think of every scenario possible for each event. Then I try to figure out solutions for every possible outcome. Needless to say I normally stress myself out way more than the actual event ends up being.
We took Cade camping for the first time. Yes, in a tent. Yes, sleeping in sleeping bags. Yes, we picked a site with no electricity or water. Yes, Boo was only 22 months old. And you know, it was fabulous! Jacob and I have camped for many years previous to Cade. We have all the equipment, and actually enjoying going out there. And to be honest our tent has two rooms, and screened in porch. We "rough" it. Due to life in general Jacob and I hadn't been out in the tent in almost 3 years. We were both ready to get back out there. It seems natural to us to just bring Cade along. But while sharing our summer plans with many teacher friends it became apparent that many others thought camping with a toddler seemed less than a relaxing vacation. We stayed right on the water. We went for 3 days, 2 nights. We hiked during the day, and visited a local beach. We spent time as a family, something we don't get to do very often!
In June I also faced a large fear of my own. I made a 15 hour car trip with a 22 month old, alone. We made the trip back home to Michigan in two days. Cade, once again, did great. He did get fussy each day, but who can blame him? I mean, you would get sick of being in the car too if you were straped in the way toddlers are now. We spent 10 days in Michigan and then made the trek back to Georgia. Road trips alone are fine, but I would welcome adult company anytime!
The latest fear this mommy has faced has been converting Boo's crib to a toddler bed. Cade has only tried to get of his bed a couple of times, and we only need to go in there and put him back once and he goes to sleep. And what is it that he goes to do when he gets out? He is caught reading, every time! When he wakes up, he gets out of bed, and goes to the door and knocks on it. How cute is that?! Once again all of my fears were nothing compared to the actual event.
So what can I take from all of these firsts that we all have survived? To relax and let happen what will happen.
Yay, right. That isn't part of my personality. Ha!
I remember my fears of traveling with Cade for the first time, then flying with him for the first time, then flying alone for the first time. All of Cade's firsts were first for Jacob and I too. And that doesn't stop once they are out of the infant phase.
June was full of toddler firsts for this mom. I am such a planner, that I seem to think of every scenario possible for each event. Then I try to figure out solutions for every possible outcome. Needless to say I normally stress myself out way more than the actual event ends up being.
We took Cade camping for the first time. Yes, in a tent. Yes, sleeping in sleeping bags. Yes, we picked a site with no electricity or water. Yes, Boo was only 22 months old. And you know, it was fabulous! Jacob and I have camped for many years previous to Cade. We have all the equipment, and actually enjoying going out there. And to be honest our tent has two rooms, and screened in porch. We "rough" it. Due to life in general Jacob and I hadn't been out in the tent in almost 3 years. We were both ready to get back out there. It seems natural to us to just bring Cade along. But while sharing our summer plans with many teacher friends it became apparent that many others thought camping with a toddler seemed less than a relaxing vacation. We stayed right on the water. We went for 3 days, 2 nights. We hiked during the day, and visited a local beach. We spent time as a family, something we don't get to do very often!
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| Boo helps set the tent up |
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| My boys |
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| As long as Cade has some cars he is happy anywhere |
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| Enjoying the water by our site |
In June I also faced a large fear of my own. I made a 15 hour car trip with a 22 month old, alone. We made the trip back home to Michigan in two days. Cade, once again, did great. He did get fussy each day, but who can blame him? I mean, you would get sick of being in the car too if you were straped in the way toddlers are now. We spent 10 days in Michigan and then made the trek back to Georgia. Road trips alone are fine, but I would welcome adult company anytime!
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| The morning we left! |
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| We ate at least two meals each travel day at Cracker Barrel |
The latest fear this mommy has faced has been converting Boo's crib to a toddler bed. Cade has only tried to get of his bed a couple of times, and we only need to go in there and put him back once and he goes to sleep. And what is it that he goes to do when he gets out? He is caught reading, every time! When he wakes up, he gets out of bed, and goes to the door and knocks on it. How cute is that?! Once again all of my fears were nothing compared to the actual event.
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| Exploring his new bed |
Yay, right. That isn't part of my personality. Ha!
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