I didn't want to be negative

I have technically had the time to bust out a post.  I have even had things to write about.  But I just didn't want to be negative.  And negative was the main player in all of my topics to put out on the web.  I am trying this new thing about being positive, and I read a book that gave all the reasons why everyone should be an upper.  The one that stuck in my mind was that when you are not positive, you are like a poison to the people around you.  I don't want to be poison.  I wouldn't say I was keeping my troubles a secret, I would just say I was staying focused on all the great things going on. 

But then I started reading a couple of other blogs and I thought, but I really connect to bloggers who are honest.  They don't sugar coat things.  And that is me.  I am not one to shy away from the truth.  The truth is the past few weeks have been a struggle.

Most people reading this know I believe in God, and that he has a plan for our lives.  And if you didn't now you know.  Most of the time I feel like God and I see the same purpose, and I become purpose driven.  I have a lot of energy, enjoy talking, love staying busy, and can handle up to 30 under 10 years olds at once, so I am using my strengths as a teacher.  I know it was meant to be that I moved South, and feel at home in Atlanta.  Jacob's strengths are staying calm, listens intently, strong, willing to take orders, and trusting.  The Army is the best place for him.  So when Jacob broke his leg, and put a stop to our neatly laid out plan, I was a little more than confused. So what/where was the problem?  He was going overseas, I was teaching, and we were making smart financial decisions.  We had laid out a plan of exactly what to do with our increased income, and we were right on track.  So what was wrong with the plan? 

I have felt like the break was the first of many events to mess up "my" overall plan.  The break, having to stay in NC for the last few weeks of my summer break, which lead to not being able to prepare for my class as much as I would have.  There has been no income from Jacob's end.  So we went from my salary and a half (Jacob's GI Bill), to just my salary.  That caused me to have to take on some tutoring/babysitting jobs, leaving less time to spend at home on myself, or with Jacob.  The break also caused Jacob not to be mobile, which meant no job opportunities.  This all leads to the financial fall of the Larkins.

I just had my birthday, and today is Jacob's.  We are officially 28.   I didn't take this birthday easy.  The overall situation did not help.  On a regular basis I kept thinking to myself " I am 28 years old.  I have my Masters, I am in my 5th year of teaching.  I am making less this year than I did my first year teaching.  My husband is a Veteran, and has his bachelors.  He has not had a job offer in 3 months. Our six month savings fund is up in Dec."  And unfortunately when you are strained, and can't see your way out something 2 months away, feels like next week. 

I watch the news in the morning, and listen to talk radio on the way home from work.  The talk of the 99% and the 1% is all over it.  I would start to feel frustrated, and angry, because Jacob and I are being held back by the economy.  I wonder where/what we would be if this were the 1980's.  Jacob and I did everything we could to be prepared for something bad.  We have been contributing to a retirement fund since we were 23.  We are the only 28 year olds I know who actually had a 6 month fund, in liquid.  We kept our credit scores high, and pay all of our bills in full and on time.  The only debt I have is the mortgage, and student loans.  I have a pretty safe job in teaching, and Jacob got his bachelors because that is what the world keeps telling him he needed. 

And now what?  We are falling into the 99%.  We will eventually run out of funds, deferring on student loans, foreclosing on the house, I can't even think what might happen to our pets.  The worst has happened.  We were prepared, thought out, and yet day by day the savings dwindle.  Water damage, and no second income.  The days kept ticking by....and by....and the savings dwindled. 

You can see how the negative thoughts would keep swirling around and around. 

Sunday we had a great sermon on why God will wait until he thinks we are ready to really help.  And that put it into perspective.  We are not in the 99% that are without jobs, enormous credit card debt, no home, and truly no hope.  We have a lot of friends, and family that support us, and it is not as doom and gloom as I feel it is sometimes.  God has provided us with just enough to make it work.  We have become much more reliant on Him.  It is all meant to be. 

Today Jacob got a call that his LOD (accident report) had been approved, which means we can move to the next step of asking for what we think we are owed.  So God knew how much was left in our savings.  He knew Dec. was it.  And I have faith that He will provide before Dec. 

Now that over 3/4ths of this post was technically negative, my hope is that someone can connect and not feel like they are the only ones.  I think we have all been or are here.  It might not be so bad sharing, when we can all see there is a way out.  I will try not to hide so much in the future. 

Day by day

Last week was my last tri for this season, and it just happened to be Sara's first tri.  It was a great race!  A great way to end the season.  She did amazing!  What an accomplishment!

Before we got in the water!

So proud of Sara!!!

 Then this past weekend Jacob and I went up to MI for my brother's wedding.  While up in MI Trisha and I did our first race together!  It was Zeeland's Pumpkin Fest 5k.  It was great because we got figure out a pace together, and try out some tutus in preparation for the Princess 1/2 Marathon in Feb.  Trisha did amazing.  We had a little under 11 minute miles, which was a push for Trisha, and she pushed through! You can see all the pics here. 

SO PROUD OF TRISHA!

As for the rest of life Atlanta Public Schools was furloughed today for Columbus Day, so I had the day off.  I actually used it to relax, catch up on uploading pictures, do some laundry, and the get the house ready for this week.  We are still waiting for the Army to get their act together, and I have to say I will only be able to wait a few more weeks, and still stay quiet.  Our hole in the house is completely covered, and the flooring people are coming tomorrow to lay the floor in the dinning room and kitchen.  Hopefully that means my kitchen table can leave the living room.  My next race is Nov. 5 in Savannah.  I am right on track for my training, so I am super happy with that. 

I guess overall the world is just moving day by day, and I won't complain about that.  I will leave y'all with that.