The (un)official start of summer is upon us. This weekend marks a very happy time for us. We celebrate what we call Larkin/Burden Anniversary. This is a celebration of a friendship that has grown over the years. It is a time that the four of us, Sara, Jeff, Jacob, and I all get together to just be with each other. To me it is a time to show how much we care for each other.
I never drink "adult" beverages. There are really a few reasons why I think. Growing up neither of my parents drank much, if at all. I also grew up in a place where kids under age drank, and I saw what the ramifications were. I just choose that wasn't me. I was a goody-goody, I will admit it. Then right before my 21st birthday I was diagnosed with ITP. Alcohol is a blood thinner, and is on the CAN NOT do list. Then to top it all off, I really don't like the taste of alcohol. So not drinking has never been a problem for me.
Then November 2008 I made remission! As I have discussed before remission is not a I can do whatever I want ticket, but it allows me to have a few freedoms Jacob and I never thought would be possible. Baby Pat is one of those freedoms. Another freedom was I could drink an adult beverage as long as my platelet counts were up.
I never really had an opportunity/want until we decided to get together with the Burdens for Memorial Day 2009. Sara and I are teachers so Memorial Day is a reminder we are off for the summer. Jeff and Jacob have always worked odd jobs that required them to work on weekends/holidays, so it is always special when we would get a weekend evening together. The memories we have from our anniversary are one of a kind. It is an evening that I know I look forward to each year. I mean even my family knows that Memorial Day is anniversary, and we will spend some of our weekend with our best friends.
Well this year was a little different. I don't really drink to get drunk, but I have always associated anniversary with my one time a year to drink like an adult. Well Pat created a different plan for us this year. Now as I say alcohol is not the main reason we get together, and mean it, I somehow felt that I was going to ruin anniversary because it was going to be different. I wasn't going to be able drink like an adult, and in my head I felt like this was my one time a year, and it was not going to happen for another year. Not to mention I was changing the dynamics.
Changes are happening. They are out of my control. I don't like being forced into things, and not changes when I was happy how things were. I know when Pat arrives my world is going to be rocked, but just carrying a baby creates a whole new world with new rules. I am still so selfish. I know the changes will be worth it. But it is hard. As we get closer to Pat arriving the things that are never going to be same are more eminent. This is my last summer break not being responsible for anyone else. We will have to begin celebrating holidays. We won't be able to just eat whenever we want to, but we will have to follow more of a schedule. Just going to the store will be completely different.
But after my tears and fears for this weekend we had a great time. We celebrated in the most American way. We had burgers on the grill, a campfire, ate smores, and went to a Braves baseball game. Anniversary was a success, and each year it will evolve with our lives. Just like every other day as we continue forward.
So thank you to the Burdens for a great anniversary this year!
Monday, May 28, 2012
Saturday, May 26, 2012
A decision was made
**DISCLAIMER**
This post will lead you to make a semi disgusting assumption. However, it is the truth, and part or being a running pregnant woman. Please do not read if you have a weak stomach, or if you really have no desire to know the inner workings of pregnancy.
** The retelling of this event will start now**
Truth be told I have been struggling to continue running. The doctor is 100% behind me. Encouraging me to continue. But the last time I went in I explained that EVERY time I run I am getting really bad cramps, even during the short runs. However, once I use the restroom the cramps go away.
The doc came to the conclusion that Pat is STILL sitting so low that it is putting pressure on my intestines. Running in the afternoon/evening means there is waste in my intestines, the baby bouncing on my intestines is causing the cramping, moving the waste through at a very fast speed. The best solution was to run early in the morning, and try to stay away from the hills. Well the doc didn't come up with the no hills but I notice a different on a flatter route verses a hillier one.
So I came up with Plan C. Plan A was to keep running with Pat. Plan B was run shorter distances only 4 days a week. Plan C was to run early, in hopes to have empty intestines. This past week I was able to show up to work a little bit later than normal, so it was my idea to wake up early and run before work.
Jacob and I woke up at 5 a.m. and got ready to go out. My stomach growled, and I had used the bathroom quite a few times the night before so I thought I was all set. We went out in hopes to get in 3 miles. Unfortunately, every route around our house is pretty hilly, but we picked the least of the hills for this morning run.
A little before 1 mile I felt a sharp pain on my right side. I continued running. About 1.1 miles the pain became unbearable, and was slowly moving from my right side to my middle. I told Jacob I was going to have to walk, and I almost doubled over from the pain. By far these were the worst cramps I had ever had. I told Jacob that we were going to have to cut the run short, and head home.
I took off my support belt, to relieve some pain. It didn't help. I started to have sharp pains, and I knew a decision had to be made. I wasn't going to make it home. I had to decide to do something in my shorts, and make for a miserable mile walk home, or find a bush. Let me remind you, I was running in the residential areas around my neighborhood. I jogged to the darkest place between street lights, found a bushy side yard, and squatted.
I have had to use the restroom in nature before. However, those were places of need, camping, Peru, Kenya... not a residential neighborhood. But I found myself in someone's side yard with yet another decision to make: socks, or leaves. I will not go into detail but I took the leaves route, as my socks were relatively new, and good running socks are expensive.
Well the worst part is over. I was done. The next problem was how to get up. My right arm was supporting me, and I found myself unable to swing my weight forward to get back up right. I rocked back and forth a couple of times, and pushed with all my might to get my big belly to move forward.
In that movement I strained the muscle that travels from my ribs to my hips on the right side. Jacob and I finished the walk of shame back home, not speaking much about what had just happened. In the moment I was truly mortified, but as the day wore on, I could only laugh about the situation in which I found myself.
But because of the side pain due to the strained muscle it hurts to breath much less even try to run for a couple of days. I am working on Plan D, which I guess is a combination of waking up super early, being around the house for a couple of hours, then possibly driving to a not so hilly route. I hope to try this within in the next few days.
Pat is still doing fine, and I think just LOVES being so low. Pat kicks so much. Pat is not a morning person, but loves to start moving around about 10 a.m. and will go strong until we go to bed. Overall I am not having a lot of the complications that other pregnant women have. So I am happy with that. I am still pretty comfortable except for the skin stretching. There is no longer an indent where my belly button used to be, but the good news....no stretch marks...yet.
Well I debated for a couple of days about posting about this experience. I am an open book, and felt that it ends up to be a funny story, so it should be told. It is part of my this wonderful pregnancy journey.
This post will lead you to make a semi disgusting assumption. However, it is the truth, and part or being a running pregnant woman. Please do not read if you have a weak stomach, or if you really have no desire to know the inner workings of pregnancy.
** The retelling of this event will start now**
Truth be told I have been struggling to continue running. The doctor is 100% behind me. Encouraging me to continue. But the last time I went in I explained that EVERY time I run I am getting really bad cramps, even during the short runs. However, once I use the restroom the cramps go away.
The doc came to the conclusion that Pat is STILL sitting so low that it is putting pressure on my intestines. Running in the afternoon/evening means there is waste in my intestines, the baby bouncing on my intestines is causing the cramping, moving the waste through at a very fast speed. The best solution was to run early in the morning, and try to stay away from the hills. Well the doc didn't come up with the no hills but I notice a different on a flatter route verses a hillier one.
So I came up with Plan C. Plan A was to keep running with Pat. Plan B was run shorter distances only 4 days a week. Plan C was to run early, in hopes to have empty intestines. This past week I was able to show up to work a little bit later than normal, so it was my idea to wake up early and run before work.
Jacob and I woke up at 5 a.m. and got ready to go out. My stomach growled, and I had used the bathroom quite a few times the night before so I thought I was all set. We went out in hopes to get in 3 miles. Unfortunately, every route around our house is pretty hilly, but we picked the least of the hills for this morning run.
A little before 1 mile I felt a sharp pain on my right side. I continued running. About 1.1 miles the pain became unbearable, and was slowly moving from my right side to my middle. I told Jacob I was going to have to walk, and I almost doubled over from the pain. By far these were the worst cramps I had ever had. I told Jacob that we were going to have to cut the run short, and head home.
I took off my support belt, to relieve some pain. It didn't help. I started to have sharp pains, and I knew a decision had to be made. I wasn't going to make it home. I had to decide to do something in my shorts, and make for a miserable mile walk home, or find a bush. Let me remind you, I was running in the residential areas around my neighborhood. I jogged to the darkest place between street lights, found a bushy side yard, and squatted.
I have had to use the restroom in nature before. However, those were places of need, camping, Peru, Kenya... not a residential neighborhood. But I found myself in someone's side yard with yet another decision to make: socks, or leaves. I will not go into detail but I took the leaves route, as my socks were relatively new, and good running socks are expensive.
Well the worst part is over. I was done. The next problem was how to get up. My right arm was supporting me, and I found myself unable to swing my weight forward to get back up right. I rocked back and forth a couple of times, and pushed with all my might to get my big belly to move forward.
In that movement I strained the muscle that travels from my ribs to my hips on the right side. Jacob and I finished the walk of shame back home, not speaking much about what had just happened. In the moment I was truly mortified, but as the day wore on, I could only laugh about the situation in which I found myself.
But because of the side pain due to the strained muscle it hurts to breath much less even try to run for a couple of days. I am working on Plan D, which I guess is a combination of waking up super early, being around the house for a couple of hours, then possibly driving to a not so hilly route. I hope to try this within in the next few days.
Pat is still doing fine, and I think just LOVES being so low. Pat kicks so much. Pat is not a morning person, but loves to start moving around about 10 a.m. and will go strong until we go to bed. Overall I am not having a lot of the complications that other pregnant women have. So I am happy with that. I am still pretty comfortable except for the skin stretching. There is no longer an indent where my belly button used to be, but the good news....no stretch marks...yet.
Well I debated for a couple of days about posting about this experience. I am an open book, and felt that it ends up to be a funny story, so it should be told. It is part of my this wonderful pregnancy journey.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Michigan Summers
The school year here has wound down. I do look forward to my summers, and enjoy the time it gives me to recharge, and travel a little bit. Because of my summer vacation I can say I give my job 120% during the school year. I know a little vacation will be around the corner. This year though it will seem like a super small vacation, as we start school July 30th. Dang that sounds right around the corner.
I don't know what got me thinking about my summers growing up in Michigan. There are some aspects about MI that I miss, and can't have here. Of course my family is all back in MI, and I miss my sister like crazy. I have many friends that still live up there. A good majority of Jacob's family is in Michigan, so when we think/talk about Michigan a lot of our memories are brought up because of our families.
But on my drive to work yesterday I was overcome with this desire to drive to water. Living in Atlanta, is a dream, and Jacob and I love many aspects of it.. But if we were to be honest we miss the water. Living 10 minutes away from at least 3 different beaches was the way to grow up. I can't say I went there everyday, but we did go a lot. I guess it is one of those things where you don't know how good it is until it is gone. I miss going out on the boat, jet skiing, and picnics in the sand. Anywhere you are in MI you are less than 90 minutes away from water. So even when I went off to college I was only an hour drive from putting my feet in the sand.
This got me thinking about Pat, and my hope that Pat will be able to experience those summers. Of course if our family stays there, which looks more and more likely, we will always have excuses to go up during the summer. But Jacob and I miss the water too. I think that is why we might have the bug to start branching out again. We have talked in depth about Florida, and go often, but the desire to get up and move has really been striking me hard this week.
Now I don't want anyone thinking we will pack up and move tomorrow.... Jacob has just started his career, and I have signed my contact for next year. We have our house, and the market wouldn't be much help to us there. Oh, and we won't be going North. I know some family and friends will read this and think...they are considering moving back. As much as we miss the people, my health has made a drastic turn to the better, because we made the drastic change of location. But the idea of moving....
I know some of this yearning is because I am going back home in a week, and will get to experience West Michigan for a week in June. I know I will be able to go to the lake and do all the summer events that I have in the past. But Jacob isn't coming with me, and I will have to leave it eventually. So it won't exactly be the same.
I also know that my desire to make sure Pat has some fabulous memories like I do is on the forefront of my mind. It is crazy how once this identity starts growing inside of you, all decisions that are made about life are filtered through the "what-is-best-for-Pat" filter.
It is rare I am actually "home sick" but I am glad I am getting my MI fix soon, as my desire to be on a shore somewhere is taking over my thoughts.
I don't know what got me thinking about my summers growing up in Michigan. There are some aspects about MI that I miss, and can't have here. Of course my family is all back in MI, and I miss my sister like crazy. I have many friends that still live up there. A good majority of Jacob's family is in Michigan, so when we think/talk about Michigan a lot of our memories are brought up because of our families.
But on my drive to work yesterday I was overcome with this desire to drive to water. Living in Atlanta, is a dream, and Jacob and I love many aspects of it.. But if we were to be honest we miss the water. Living 10 minutes away from at least 3 different beaches was the way to grow up. I can't say I went there everyday, but we did go a lot. I guess it is one of those things where you don't know how good it is until it is gone. I miss going out on the boat, jet skiing, and picnics in the sand. Anywhere you are in MI you are less than 90 minutes away from water. So even when I went off to college I was only an hour drive from putting my feet in the sand.
This got me thinking about Pat, and my hope that Pat will be able to experience those summers. Of course if our family stays there, which looks more and more likely, we will always have excuses to go up during the summer. But Jacob and I miss the water too. I think that is why we might have the bug to start branching out again. We have talked in depth about Florida, and go often, but the desire to get up and move has really been striking me hard this week.
Now I don't want anyone thinking we will pack up and move tomorrow.... Jacob has just started his career, and I have signed my contact for next year. We have our house, and the market wouldn't be much help to us there. Oh, and we won't be going North. I know some family and friends will read this and think...they are considering moving back. As much as we miss the people, my health has made a drastic turn to the better, because we made the drastic change of location. But the idea of moving....
I know some of this yearning is because I am going back home in a week, and will get to experience West Michigan for a week in June. I know I will be able to go to the lake and do all the summer events that I have in the past. But Jacob isn't coming with me, and I will have to leave it eventually. So it won't exactly be the same.
I also know that my desire to make sure Pat has some fabulous memories like I do is on the forefront of my mind. It is crazy how once this identity starts growing inside of you, all decisions that are made about life are filtered through the "what-is-best-for-Pat" filter.
It is rare I am actually "home sick" but I am glad I am getting my MI fix soon, as my desire to be on a shore somewhere is taking over my thoughts.
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| Big Red Lighthouse at Holland State Park |
Sunday, May 20, 2012
I just don't want to be crazy....
Being a teacher puts me in an interesting position to observe parenting. On average I have 24 different types of parents/parenting styles a year. I have seen over the top over protective, to not even know what their kids are doing after school. As a non parent I know I have had my opinions. I have a pretty big feeling as I become a parent I will continue to have opinions.
I just don't want to be a crazy parent. This past week I have had my fair share of crazy situations. I will not go into details, as I gave up way too much energy towards the situations this past week. I truly believe that each parent problem I come across, they feel they are doing the best thing possible for their child. Love blinds all, I guess.
My biggest concern in having Pat, is the parenting aspect. I guess because I believe that it is the parenting that helps guide the child through life. To me it is almost as essential as Maslow's basics needs of safety, food, and shelter.
In the world of children there is little adults/parents can really control. Fight as we might, as soon as children start walking, and thinking on their own we have lost almost all control. But parenting is the one thing I can control, and in that I feel it is the small control that we, parents, can hold on to.
I have taken a lot of classes on children development, psychology, and children management. I have been raised by my own set of parents. I have seen/heard a million different theories on parenting. I have watched the Dr. Phil show. I have had my fair share of parents give me their amazing (I am using a very sarcastic tone here) pieces of advice. I joke with Jacob that I am taking parenting notes from show like Hoarders, and Intervention.
I know there is no manual. My journey will be different than my mom's, my sister's, my next door neighbors', and my best friends'. But that being said I am not delusional in feeling like I have a plan. I have no idea what this world of parenting will bring. I have no idea if I am ready, my real bet is I am not even close to ready.
But I am feeling more confident each week, about this journey. Jacob and I are still not ready, and scared, but we are not ready and scared together. In that we will forge forward on this new adventure.
But please, please, please feel free to step in if I become a crazy parent.
I just don't want to be a crazy parent. This past week I have had my fair share of crazy situations. I will not go into details, as I gave up way too much energy towards the situations this past week. I truly believe that each parent problem I come across, they feel they are doing the best thing possible for their child. Love blinds all, I guess.
My biggest concern in having Pat, is the parenting aspect. I guess because I believe that it is the parenting that helps guide the child through life. To me it is almost as essential as Maslow's basics needs of safety, food, and shelter.
In the world of children there is little adults/parents can really control. Fight as we might, as soon as children start walking, and thinking on their own we have lost almost all control. But parenting is the one thing I can control, and in that I feel it is the small control that we, parents, can hold on to.
I have taken a lot of classes on children development, psychology, and children management. I have been raised by my own set of parents. I have seen/heard a million different theories on parenting. I have watched the Dr. Phil show. I have had my fair share of parents give me their amazing (I am using a very sarcastic tone here) pieces of advice. I joke with Jacob that I am taking parenting notes from show like Hoarders, and Intervention.
I know there is no manual. My journey will be different than my mom's, my sister's, my next door neighbors', and my best friends'. But that being said I am not delusional in feeling like I have a plan. I have no idea what this world of parenting will bring. I have no idea if I am ready, my real bet is I am not even close to ready.
But I am feeling more confident each week, about this journey. Jacob and I are still not ready, and scared, but we are not ready and scared together. In that we will forge forward on this new adventure.
But please, please, please feel free to step in if I become a crazy parent.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Mother's Day from now on
There is something on my mantle that has never been there before. It is actually two items. They are small, and don't take up too much room. These items were given to me with the highest amount of love possible.
This year I received two Mother's Day cards. One from my bestee Sara, and another from my mom.
These items mean a lot to me. Each card is perfect, and from two people who I care so much about. But the whole grand idea of me being considered a mom is so scary. I still go through moments where I feel completely unworthy of this child I am carrying. I double think my instincts that are suppose to be in place. I question my ability to stop being self centered, and give everything I need to for my child. I am unsure of my strength to keep a career, a marriage, a family, and my life in balance.
Growing up a family friend always took my sister and I to a nursery to pick out the perfect flowers for our mom every Mother's Day. I never fully grasped what this meant, but as an adult I think what an amazing concept. My mom was a single mom from when I was age 6 to 15. Picking out the flowers was something so special for us to do. We were always so excited to bring them home. And it was a "surprise" that she didn't have to set up, and take us to for it to get done. I know that gesture made her Mothers Day.
I have thought a lot about what my mom did as I was growing up lately, I guess, because I am faced with the reality that by the end of 2012 I will be a mom. There will be a small being that will refer to me as mom, and expect me to perform as a mother. I hope I am up to the task. I pray that I can lead baby Pat in the right direction.
I don't think I am done struggling in this area, and I am not under the false idea that as soon as Pat is born I all of my fears will disappear. I know this will be a battle that most moms go through for their child's whole life.
To my beautiful friend Sara, I always thought the right order of things would be for the Burdens to have a family first. You are going to be an amazing mom. I am so lucky to have you in my life right now. I look forward to all of the advice, and help I know you and Jeff will be there to give. Jacob and I are so lucky to have both of you in our lives. I hope you know this. I know we don't say it enough.
To my mom. I will never be anything close to the mom that you were/are. I can hope
to come close, and work hard to keep communication lines open. I have a roll model that I hope to emulate, and can set goals to be like. I am one lucky daughter. Oh and the card I sent....it is all true!
I know there are other "mothers" out there that have shaped who I am,
and who I hope to be like. To all of you, thank you. You deserve tomorrow. I
hope you are appreciated all 365 days a year, but really take this day
to bask in the sacrifices you make on all of those 365 days.
This year I received two Mother's Day cards. One from my bestee Sara, and another from my mom.
These items mean a lot to me. Each card is perfect, and from two people who I care so much about. But the whole grand idea of me being considered a mom is so scary. I still go through moments where I feel completely unworthy of this child I am carrying. I double think my instincts that are suppose to be in place. I question my ability to stop being self centered, and give everything I need to for my child. I am unsure of my strength to keep a career, a marriage, a family, and my life in balance.
Growing up a family friend always took my sister and I to a nursery to pick out the perfect flowers for our mom every Mother's Day. I never fully grasped what this meant, but as an adult I think what an amazing concept. My mom was a single mom from when I was age 6 to 15. Picking out the flowers was something so special for us to do. We were always so excited to bring them home. And it was a "surprise" that she didn't have to set up, and take us to for it to get done. I know that gesture made her Mothers Day.
I have thought a lot about what my mom did as I was growing up lately, I guess, because I am faced with the reality that by the end of 2012 I will be a mom. There will be a small being that will refer to me as mom, and expect me to perform as a mother. I hope I am up to the task. I pray that I can lead baby Pat in the right direction.
I don't think I am done struggling in this area, and I am not under the false idea that as soon as Pat is born I all of my fears will disappear. I know this will be a battle that most moms go through for their child's whole life.
To my beautiful friend Sara, I always thought the right order of things would be for the Burdens to have a family first. You are going to be an amazing mom. I am so lucky to have you in my life right now. I look forward to all of the advice, and help I know you and Jeff will be there to give. Jacob and I are so lucky to have both of you in our lives. I hope you know this. I know we don't say it enough.
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| Larkin/Burden Anniversary 2011 |
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|
Happy Mother's Day!
Monday, May 7, 2012
Not reinventing the wheel
I have not been too open about the specifics, but I have not hidden the fact that Jacob and I are not where we would have hoped to be financially. We were sitting prettier than most 28 year olds. I was working in a full time job, with my Masters, Jacob was going to be deployed, and had just finished his bachelors. We had both been employed for the past 5 years. We had budgeted and put away. We didn't have any debt except the house. Then......
the accident. For someone who plans, Jacob breaking his leg sent my perfect little plan whirling into a spiral I never saw coming. We had become somewhat familiar, and used to our lifestyle. When faced with life head on, I try to stay strong. I try not to let it beat me too far into the ground during the process. But since July I have slowly watched what we worked so hard for dwindle.
I saw it coming to an extent. While stuck in North Carolina the Army had us pay for everything up front. The hotel, our gas, our food, of course with promises of paying us back (hahha...I am snickering to myself about our innocence back then). But it was essentially a two week vacation. Well more of a not at home, stay away from home "vacation". When we got home our washer had died. Unfortunately for our sweet friends who had moved into our house to take care of it while we were gone, the washer died while they were here. So we got home, and had to get that fixed....which meant it couldn't be fixed....which meant we had to buy a new washer.
Then the water damage. We fought with insurance to no avail, and the damage was getting worse every time is rained. So the contractors came for a month and a half and replaced half of our upstairs flooring, cut a hole in the side of my house, took off and put back on our back porch, and created a new wall in the basement. And that brings us just to Sept.
The initial hits were the hardest. The biggest chunks of our savings just shelled out. Jacob couldn't work, and the Army battle began. So since July of 2011 we have been living on a teacher's salary. If you don't know what teachers make, look it up. I haven't received a raise, or an up in the cost of living for four years. We took immediate action. We redid our entire budget, and yet anyway we cut it, we wouldn't be able to keep putting money away in saving on just my salary. --> We use Mint.com. I do not get any kind of commission, but love how this free website brings all our finances together, and keeps Jacob and I on the same page. <--
I will not say we reinvented the wheel. We didn't. I am just going to put out there what we did to survive, barely survive, but we have survived. Since September we have:
* cut coupons. Purchasing a Sunday paper, on a yearly subscription saved us more than if we just bought it during the week. I am not a crazy couponer. I cut the coupons of things we will use, and we plan our meals according to what coupons we have. I am a stickler for fresh fruits and veggies, which never have coupons, so we can't only buy items on sale, but every $0.50 pays off in the end.
* shopped at one grocery store. Closest to our house is a Kroger. We have a Kroger card, and only buy our food from there. FOOD items only. Because of this they send us special coupons for what we buy the most, and they have electronic coupons for their store. Most stores do this, so I am not pro-Kroger, they are just the closest to our house. Kroger also has a fuel center, and using their store card gives us $0.10 off each gallon of gas. Again, only buying our food there, helps our store credit, which saved us on gas. We buy cleaning, and cosmetic items from Walmart, all with a coupon, or on sale. We can not be picky about name brands. Whatever is the best bang for our buck is what goes in our closet.
* went to an antenna tv. First, when we kidded ourselves that the Army would pay, we just cut our cable back to the basic cable. Then after we came to our senses about the Army, Jacob climbed to the attic and put up an antenna. Our "cable" is free, and we save almost $80 a month. We subscribe to Hulu, and take advantage of NetFlix free trials. When we canceled our cable, AT&T did want to keep us as customers, so they gave us a higher speed internet for the same price of the basic internet.
* gone to cash. Jacob and I get an "allowance" for a lack of a better word. This amount has had to shift throughout our journey also. Anything that is not groceries, fuel, pet related, the doctors, or a bill is paid in cash. For example each of us gets $40 a week. On Friday we pick up the $40 from the bank. That $40 is mine to do whatever I want, no questions asked. I can spend it all Friday night, or save it up week after week. The catch....if I really want to go out to eat, I have to foot the bill for both of us. If I want to do a movie, I have to pay for both of us. This has really cut down on our anytime spending, and we eat at home a lot more. We also both pack our lunches.
* cut off central heat/air conditioning. This winter was pretty easy, as there was only a couple of really cold nights. This summer however is getting hard already. When you wake up in the morning, and it is 70 degrees...it sucks. But it is a sacrifice we must make at this point.
* sacrificed a lot. When you work hard, you should be able to play hard. Or at least play a little bit without being so worried about paying the bills. But right now we are going through a time in our lives when we must work hard, and keep working harder. I had to give up all races.... which as I have written has been slightly devastating. Jacob has given up his fish tanks, computer building fun, computer games, and other electronic enjoyment. No movies in the theaters, we staying home most nights (watching our free cable), and most home improvement dreams are put on hold for right now.
Now all that being said, we are surviving. Not only us, but our 5 animals, who never go a month with out their vet checks, medicine, or food. We consider taking care of them a must, and it is put in the budget. We did not have to dip into our small retirement 403b, and we did not miss any major bills. Jacob and I live in a unique purple house. We were able to keep both of our cars, mostly because mine has been paid off for the past 4 years. We are finally starting to see the upside to this long struggle. We didn't do anything new, we prioritized, bit the bullet, and buckled down. We were both committed, which is huge thing.
So now as we start to see the light at the end of this tight tunnel, we are faced with one of the most expensive things you could ever take on. Baby Pat will be here in Aug, and we will have lived through this journey, which will, hopefully, help us to be able to place our priorities in the right order, straight away.
the accident. For someone who plans, Jacob breaking his leg sent my perfect little plan whirling into a spiral I never saw coming. We had become somewhat familiar, and used to our lifestyle. When faced with life head on, I try to stay strong. I try not to let it beat me too far into the ground during the process. But since July I have slowly watched what we worked so hard for dwindle.
I saw it coming to an extent. While stuck in North Carolina the Army had us pay for everything up front. The hotel, our gas, our food, of course with promises of paying us back (hahha...I am snickering to myself about our innocence back then). But it was essentially a two week vacation. Well more of a not at home, stay away from home "vacation". When we got home our washer had died. Unfortunately for our sweet friends who had moved into our house to take care of it while we were gone, the washer died while they were here. So we got home, and had to get that fixed....which meant it couldn't be fixed....which meant we had to buy a new washer.
Then the water damage. We fought with insurance to no avail, and the damage was getting worse every time is rained. So the contractors came for a month and a half and replaced half of our upstairs flooring, cut a hole in the side of my house, took off and put back on our back porch, and created a new wall in the basement. And that brings us just to Sept.
The initial hits were the hardest. The biggest chunks of our savings just shelled out. Jacob couldn't work, and the Army battle began. So since July of 2011 we have been living on a teacher's salary. If you don't know what teachers make, look it up. I haven't received a raise, or an up in the cost of living for four years. We took immediate action. We redid our entire budget, and yet anyway we cut it, we wouldn't be able to keep putting money away in saving on just my salary. --> We use Mint.com. I do not get any kind of commission, but love how this free website brings all our finances together, and keeps Jacob and I on the same page. <--
I will not say we reinvented the wheel. We didn't. I am just going to put out there what we did to survive, barely survive, but we have survived. Since September we have:
* cut coupons. Purchasing a Sunday paper, on a yearly subscription saved us more than if we just bought it during the week. I am not a crazy couponer. I cut the coupons of things we will use, and we plan our meals according to what coupons we have. I am a stickler for fresh fruits and veggies, which never have coupons, so we can't only buy items on sale, but every $0.50 pays off in the end.
* shopped at one grocery store. Closest to our house is a Kroger. We have a Kroger card, and only buy our food from there. FOOD items only. Because of this they send us special coupons for what we buy the most, and they have electronic coupons for their store. Most stores do this, so I am not pro-Kroger, they are just the closest to our house. Kroger also has a fuel center, and using their store card gives us $0.10 off each gallon of gas. Again, only buying our food there, helps our store credit, which saved us on gas. We buy cleaning, and cosmetic items from Walmart, all with a coupon, or on sale. We can not be picky about name brands. Whatever is the best bang for our buck is what goes in our closet.
* went to an antenna tv. First, when we kidded ourselves that the Army would pay, we just cut our cable back to the basic cable. Then after we came to our senses about the Army, Jacob climbed to the attic and put up an antenna. Our "cable" is free, and we save almost $80 a month. We subscribe to Hulu, and take advantage of NetFlix free trials. When we canceled our cable, AT&T did want to keep us as customers, so they gave us a higher speed internet for the same price of the basic internet.
* gone to cash. Jacob and I get an "allowance" for a lack of a better word. This amount has had to shift throughout our journey also. Anything that is not groceries, fuel, pet related, the doctors, or a bill is paid in cash. For example each of us gets $40 a week. On Friday we pick up the $40 from the bank. That $40 is mine to do whatever I want, no questions asked. I can spend it all Friday night, or save it up week after week. The catch....if I really want to go out to eat, I have to foot the bill for both of us. If I want to do a movie, I have to pay for both of us. This has really cut down on our anytime spending, and we eat at home a lot more. We also both pack our lunches.
* cut off central heat/air conditioning. This winter was pretty easy, as there was only a couple of really cold nights. This summer however is getting hard already. When you wake up in the morning, and it is 70 degrees...it sucks. But it is a sacrifice we must make at this point.
* sacrificed a lot. When you work hard, you should be able to play hard. Or at least play a little bit without being so worried about paying the bills. But right now we are going through a time in our lives when we must work hard, and keep working harder. I had to give up all races.... which as I have written has been slightly devastating. Jacob has given up his fish tanks, computer building fun, computer games, and other electronic enjoyment. No movies in the theaters, we staying home most nights (watching our free cable), and most home improvement dreams are put on hold for right now.
Now all that being said, we are surviving. Not only us, but our 5 animals, who never go a month with out their vet checks, medicine, or food. We consider taking care of them a must, and it is put in the budget. We did not have to dip into our small retirement 403b, and we did not miss any major bills. Jacob and I live in a unique purple house. We were able to keep both of our cars, mostly because mine has been paid off for the past 4 years. We are finally starting to see the upside to this long struggle. We didn't do anything new, we prioritized, bit the bullet, and buckled down. We were both committed, which is huge thing.
So now as we start to see the light at the end of this tight tunnel, we are faced with one of the most expensive things you could ever take on. Baby Pat will be here in Aug, and we will have lived through this journey, which will, hopefully, help us to be able to place our priorities in the right order, straight away.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
A few hopes
So I am now 23 weeks along. Technically Monday makes 24 weeks. I am sick right now. Strep throat of course. I swear I catch strep if I am in the same town as someone who has it. It is not going around school, and I don't know of anyone else who has it. But I am on bed/couch rest for at least the rest of the weekend.
I have had some time to think about some hopes/dreams I want for Baby Pat. I still think Pat is a boy, and Jacob still really wants a girl, and won't say if he thinks it is a boy or girl. So anyway here are just a few hopes I wish upon Pat.
* I hope Pat has my blue eyes. I know brown eyes are dominant, and I am obviously attracted to brown eyes, but blues eyes are still considered rare.
* I hope Pat gets dark brown hair. Since Jacob and I both have brown hair this shouldn't be too much a genetic problem.
* I hope Pat gets my darker skin. Jacob also has dark skin, but he can burn from the sun. Normally only once a year, but I don't burn at all. It is a special genetic thing I have. The dark skin looks amazing with blue eyes, so I guess these two hopes kind of go together.
* I hope Pat is tall. Ask me in person and I will swear to you I love being 5'3". But there are some disadvantages being small. Jumping in the supermarket, to reach the top shelf, is not always becoming. Most people would be semi disgusted to know I jump up, barefoot, on my counters to reach the top of my shelves in the kitchen. (I do clean my counters like a crazy freak....but still) Jacob is 6 feet tall and can reach it all. My parents, and my sister are tall. They are all over 5'7". So again being tall will not be too hard to create genetically, but I am short.....
* I hope Pat is athletic. Jacob and I both are athletic, and our bodies have the muscles that can handle that lifestyle. I hope Pat is coordinated, just for societal reasons. It makes life through middle/high school a little easier. Don't get me wrong, I don't need a jock by any means. Just thinking about Pat in the later years. Middle/high school is hard enough without having some coordination issues.
* I hope Pat gets a mixture of mine and Jacob's temperaments. I am a feisty, hot shot, where Jacob is almost too calm and cool. Somewhere inbetwen us would be perfect. Still being able to express and work through emotions, and yet stay calm and cool in certain situations.
* I hope Pat gets Jacob's musical talent. I can play/march, but Jacob is gifted in so many ways muscially. I love that part about him. Music can open so many doors in so many different ways.
* I hope Pat has a God fearing, loving, emphathic heart. I believe this is the only way to move through life in a positive way.
Now these hopes are not in any order, and no I do not care more about outside appearances. It is just the outside appearance is genetic, and not much more I can do at this point. I know as a teacher, there are a lot of things on my list that are nurture. So I hope for Pat that we will be able to help nurture Pat the way we should as parents. And that being said me as a parent is a whole different post for a different time.
I know the Lord has it all planned out, and I know Pat will come out the way he/she is suppose to. But I think it is totally normal for every first time parent to dream/wish/hope for certain things for their baby. Plus being bed ridden gives me WAY too much time to think.....
I have had some time to think about some hopes/dreams I want for Baby Pat. I still think Pat is a boy, and Jacob still really wants a girl, and won't say if he thinks it is a boy or girl. So anyway here are just a few hopes I wish upon Pat.
* I hope Pat has my blue eyes. I know brown eyes are dominant, and I am obviously attracted to brown eyes, but blues eyes are still considered rare.
* I hope Pat gets dark brown hair. Since Jacob and I both have brown hair this shouldn't be too much a genetic problem.
* I hope Pat gets my darker skin. Jacob also has dark skin, but he can burn from the sun. Normally only once a year, but I don't burn at all. It is a special genetic thing I have. The dark skin looks amazing with blue eyes, so I guess these two hopes kind of go together.
* I hope Pat is tall. Ask me in person and I will swear to you I love being 5'3". But there are some disadvantages being small. Jumping in the supermarket, to reach the top shelf, is not always becoming. Most people would be semi disgusted to know I jump up, barefoot, on my counters to reach the top of my shelves in the kitchen. (I do clean my counters like a crazy freak....but still) Jacob is 6 feet tall and can reach it all. My parents, and my sister are tall. They are all over 5'7". So again being tall will not be too hard to create genetically, but I am short.....
* I hope Pat is athletic. Jacob and I both are athletic, and our bodies have the muscles that can handle that lifestyle. I hope Pat is coordinated, just for societal reasons. It makes life through middle/high school a little easier. Don't get me wrong, I don't need a jock by any means. Just thinking about Pat in the later years. Middle/high school is hard enough without having some coordination issues.
* I hope Pat gets a mixture of mine and Jacob's temperaments. I am a feisty, hot shot, where Jacob is almost too calm and cool. Somewhere inbetwen us would be perfect. Still being able to express and work through emotions, and yet stay calm and cool in certain situations.
* I hope Pat gets Jacob's musical talent. I can play/march, but Jacob is gifted in so many ways muscially. I love that part about him. Music can open so many doors in so many different ways.
* I hope Pat has a God fearing, loving, emphathic heart. I believe this is the only way to move through life in a positive way.
Now these hopes are not in any order, and no I do not care more about outside appearances. It is just the outside appearance is genetic, and not much more I can do at this point. I know as a teacher, there are a lot of things on my list that are nurture. So I hope for Pat that we will be able to help nurture Pat the way we should as parents. And that being said me as a parent is a whole different post for a different time.
I know the Lord has it all planned out, and I know Pat will come out the way he/she is suppose to. But I think it is totally normal for every first time parent to dream/wish/hope for certain things for their baby. Plus being bed ridden gives me WAY too much time to think.....
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