Blood Count

My platelet count went from 140 to 143. So yes, it went up. The doc is happy with this. He doesn't want to see me again for 3 months, unless I see any symptoms.

I wanted higher numbers, but as long as the doc says all is good.....all is good ;)

Indian Springs Triathlon

Well Jacob and I completed our triathlon. It was a longer race than my past tri, and the swim was super tough. Jacob really enjoyed himself and can't wait for the next race. I am so proud of him. He finished in just over an hour and a half.

The swim (which is the first event) really had me freaked out. This race had a buoy every 100 yards so that made it a little better. But within the first few strokes I was on my back hyperventilating. I hate putting my face in the water, and I have worked the past 8 months on this exact skill. But it all went to h*** when I was in that water. When there are so many people swimming around you, it is totally different. The swim is also a head game. I know this too. I am a very strong swimmer, I know how to float, and tread water. I have swam over the 600 yards that was required in this race. But again none of this goes through my head while waves rush over me. I start thinking how crazy this is, and how the doctor is right....I am a sick person and can't do this. I made it to the 200 yard buoy, where we have to go around it to head out parallel to the shore, and one of the rescue canoes came over by me. I then realized I was the only pink cap (my age group swim color) left, and the next wave group was on their way. The canoe people asked me if I was okay, and my head was screaming "NO, Get me OUT of this water. I can't take it anymore, I will never make it...I just want to give up" But somehow out of my mouth came "Yeah I am okay" I just kept swimming. After I hit the third buoy, I realized I was over half way, and I would make it. I just kept swimming, and swimming. Most of the swim was on my back. I will continue to work on getting my face in the water, and relaxing in the water. I got out out of the water. I was the last in my age group to come out, and was almost the last of the wave behind me. But I got out and began my run to transition to get on my bike.

I knew the bike could only be better. It was only 2 miles longer than my last one, and I had a actual road bike, so I knew it had to be better. And it was. I shaved almost 8 minutes off, and on a longer ride. I was super happy with that. The trail was a lot of rolling hills and some of the hills were steep, and others were not so steep but super long. Going up a long, steep hill I named my bike. I have heard this just happens, and it literally popped out of my head. My thighs were screaming, and my mind was going steady and out comes "Alice...you will get us up this hill". Now I do not have another personality that I am aware of, so Alice is my bike's name. I like it...it fits. Well Alice and I rocked it out, even passing a good amount of people.

The last leg is just a 3.1 mile run. Seriously my favorite part. I can run. And I can run better than most. I took off on the run, and I felt great. If you have never done a brick (which is biking at least an hour, and then getting off the bike and running) you don't know the crazy feeling that is in your legs. It is a feeling you have to get used to. You are using totally different muscles to run, and your legs almost go numb. You just have to trust your legs know what to do, and they will do it. Well I took right off. I was at about a 1/2 mile, and I passed Jacob. He was 1/2 a mile from the finish. He looked great and strong. I was really proud. That pushed me a little bit more. The run was....well it would be an understatement to say hilly. There were three really steep, long hills, and then at least 5 smaller hills. I pushed through. The downfall was that at mile 2 they ran out of water. WHAT?! No water?? But I figured at the longest it would be 15 more minutes of my life, and in reality it was only 10. I had enough energy left to push through the last 1/2 mile and really sprint. I heard Jacob at the end and I was so happy to be done.


By the end it was pretty hot. It was close to 10 a.m. and the sun was beating high. I got some water, and I looked at my time. I was so happy! I had wanted to make it in the same time, or shorter, and I did it in exactly the same time.

Well that is my race experience. I could go into way more detail and talk about what I would love to do differently, and what I will work on next, but I won't bore y'all.

I am so proud of myself, and just feel so elated!

---> Doctor appointment 10:15 Tuesday. I will only get my blood counts, and then if they are low Dr. Saleh will call. I will be able to report my counts by Tuesday.

READY!!

I am back and with a better outlook. A bit more relaxed, and with a much better head on my shoulders. What is....is. I had some bad blood and it is fixing itself. If it isn't I will find out on Tuesday and take it step by step. Anyone else hear Jacob in those words?

Well I am writing this quick post in a motel in Jacksonville, GA. At 5 a.m. Jacob and I will be waking up to complete Indian Springs Triathlon. I feel so much more ready for this one than my past one, but of course still nervous. Jacob and I checked out the swim, and bike route. We saw the run course, but didn't follow it as it went into some woods. The swim is 600 yards, and my last tri was only 400. But I am so much more prepared for this one. I am possibly in the best shape of my life, and tomorrow it all gets put to the test.

I just have to tell myself...just keep swimming, just keep swimming...I have to survive the swim to get to the bike, and then to my favorite...the run.

I will hopefully post in the next few days how it goes. This is Jacob's first tri, and I know he is going to do amazing. I am so proud of him. I can't wait to see him at the end of the race.

Ignoring the Facts, Won't Make Them Untrue

I really thought I would want to write more than I do, but I feel like people need to know, and this is the best way to get the word out.

About a month ago I started noticing a few random symptoms. I got a really bad bruise on the side of my leg, and then a couple other bruises showed up. Then I seemed to want to sleep a bit more than usual. Then my gums started bleeding.

I made note of the symptoms, but then looked the other way. I just thought...normal people bruise, normal people take naps. I was functioning at school as an intern, and I was working out. I was feeling overall pretty good.

Jacob kept telling me just to go to the doctor and rule out ITP, and I kept saying I would. Part of the delay was that I did keep forgetting to call during work hours, and the other part was I knew if I went to the doctors there would be three options.

1. I have normal platelets and I am normal

2. I have low platelets and immediate action must take place

3. I would have low platelets and there would be no reason, and more tests would be in order.

#3 in my mind is the ultimate blow. When there is no answer, there is no end in sight, and that just leaves my future up the air. I hate that...

I went to the doctor this morning. The range for platelets is 140 - 480 and I came in right at 140. So Dr. Saleh let me have it...why didn't I come in sooner, how long have my symptoms been going on, and of course, what was I thinking???? I sat on the doctor table holding back tears as he told me I would have to get in a gown for a full exam, and he would be completing other tests.

Two and a half hours later, Dr. Saleh thinks there might be good news. My blood has big cells and small cells. The big cells are the bad ones (they are the ones that "eat" my platelets). He thinks that two weeks ago I was at an all time low. Now he thinks my body is creating platelets on its own, which is the ultimate good thing. We walked through the past month and we can't find the trigger that set my platelets so low. So, I am to report in to get my blood count completed next week Tuesday. Dr. Saleh is sure my count will be higher, and all will be okay. I won't need to go back until I see symptoms again.

I can't really write anymore about my emotions. I am emotionally drained. I have my exit interview tomorrow, and it will be my last day interning. I need to get through that and then I can work on trying to comprehend what is going on.

Cooking

I'll be honest (when am I not on here) I am NOT a fan of cooking. Or at least wasn't would be a better statement I guess. I'll start from the beginning to help you understand.

Growing up we had to help with dinner. We had to help cook, and most of all we had a night we had to set the table. This was a required part of being the Cade/Machiela family.

When I went off on my own, my Freshman year I lived in the dorms, and the extent of cooking was microwaving some mac and cheese, or ramen noodles. When I moved into an apartment my sophomore year, I also got my job at Steak N Shake. As unhealthy as that seems it was cheap and I just ate there. I could cook, using a recipe if I wanted, but just choose the easy way out.

When I got married, we lived in such a tiny, super duper, small apartment (600 sq. ft) it was almost more work to cook. Jacob and I also worked at SNS, and had opposite schedules, so we were only cooking for one. More of the microwave, or eating out.

Then our big move to Atlanta. We had a nice apartment, and a nice kitchen, and I became domestic. We were watching our budget closely so I picked out recipes for each day, and only bought what we would need for the week. Everyday had a plan, and we stuck to that quite easily. As time went on I became more relaxed with the eating schedule and just picked out 5-6 recipes per week, and we could choose on that day what we felt like making.

Then came me getting sick. This seems to come up a lot. It was a life changing event. Some of the things I changed were great, others not so great. Anywho, when I got sick, I just didn't care. I didn't want to get up and cook, so if Jacob didn't feel like cooking then we got something to bring home. And when Jacob did cook, somehow my kitchen became a mess. I am a self proclaimed neat freak (on the verge of OCD at times) and when I wasn't feeling well I would walk into the kitchen, and just get so down that I did not have the energy to clean my house. That would tumble into a depression of not being a good wife and so on! So I almost didn't want him to cook. That would leave my kitchen clean, and the probability of me staying above the depressed line.

I finally started feeling well about the time I started my Masters. So then my life consisted of teaching all day, taking night/weekend classes, and tutoring. I just felt that I was too tired to cook, and it was easier to eat out, or have Jacob cook. I had the energy to clean up the kitchen, but it had gotten to a point where I associated cooking with a dirty kitchen, and the thought of a dirty kitchen sent my OCD into a tailspin. Jacob enjoys cooking, but doesn't want to do the clean up, and when I would clean up, I would almost have manic attacks as I was cleaning. I would go over the top, and then want to continue through the house, only to find I didn't have time to clean the house, which then lead to me becoming upset, and so on and so on....

That brings us up to present day. Jacob is now into his major classes, and doesn't really have the time to devote to cooking anymore. So I started small. Just warming up something in the microwave. Then I cooked some pasta, and then a homemade pizza. And guess what...I found that when I cook, I keep the kitchen up to my standards. It might take me longer to cook, as I take out one item at a time, and then put it away and clean up immediately, but the cooking gets done, and my kitchen is clean. I feel that this has become a win win situation. We can eat at home, saving us money, and most likely calories, and I clean up the kitchen, dinning room, and living room in the process.

I am happy to report I have cooked all 4 nights this week, my kitchen is clean (even with the Weight Watchers Mac and Cheese in the oven), and I have the dinning room cleaned. I still have enough energy to get in some kind of a work out. I could get used to this. Somehow I feel like I have added time into my day.

And on the T.V. note - I have been doing so well. I watch maybe a half hour of news in the morning, and then maybe 2 sitcoms, or a Law and Order at night. I am totally caught up on the magazines, and will dive into my novels tonight. Turning the T.V. off also might have added time into my day. I just hope during the school year I can keep all of this up. I am feeling so good right now!

T.V. Time Suck

I get into this time suck during the summers. I get home from doing whatever (which happens to be interning until about 3pm every weekday right now) and then I just want to quickly relax and so I turn on the T.V. Then I find the T.V. just stays on. Sometimes I am productive...other times not so much. I finally organized the nightstand by my side of the bed, and found out I have 19 books I on my to read list. REALLY?! Why do I allow myself to mindlessly watch the T.V. and not go outside and enjoy a good book, or better yet actually get outside and get a little extra training in for this tri that is in 15 days. So I am writing a new goal down on here right now. I am totally into the habit of watching T.V. while getting ready for bed, getting ready for work, and then when trying to fall asleep. What happened to me reading before bed every night?

We moved a T.V. into the bedroom two summers ago. Until that point I swore I would NEVER put a T.V. in the bedroom. There are too many studies that says it is bad for "bedroom behavior" and it makes it takes away the special get-away feeling a bedroom should have. But then came chemo. I didn't want to get out of bed, some days I literally couldn't have gotten out of bed. I had insomnia, but too weak to get out of bed. So that was the turning point when we put a T.V. in the bedroom. Then I just got more and more used to having the noise on, or just keeping it on as I get ready for almost everything.

Now I find myself just putting it on because it is there. Now mind you we have a radio, and an iPod player in the bedroom and living room (where I can say we don't have T.V. for various reasons). When did I become so into this T.V. time suck? I am semi-disgusted with myself as I write this. Well, while reading a magazine article it mentioned that publishing goals electronically help people stick to them. So here and now I am placing myself under new rules....

Everyday I will only allow the T.V. to be on for 2 hours.

Yikes! Typing it out is scary but I am so ready to stop this time suck. I will put an end to it. When I get time I might even move this stupid T.V. back out of the bedroom. Lets start with one goal at a time. Keep me to it. If you see me, or are on Facebook, ask me about it. Keep me to this. 2 hours...

Trying to be a grown up...

So you know I have been trying to push these last 5 or so lbs away. But in the same breath I need to be eating enough carbs, and sugars to get my body to perform athletically. So I have been doing some research.

The newest research I have been conducting has been on green tea. I don't drink coffee, and sometimes need a pick me up (caffine) and I am trying not to get it from Diet Coke. So green tea seems to be the answer. Jacob and I bought a little 8 pack of green tea energy to see if that will do the trick.

Well I really don't like hot drinks. I always burn my tongue, and hate having to wait for it to cool down. So in my head I think I will make the green tea packets into cold tea, and drink it in the morning.

So this morning (I really should have planned ahead of time) I wanted to make my cold tea. But after looking on the internet, and the tea box and packet I find that to make cold tea out of the packets becomes a two hour ordeal, and normally you have to make 5-6 packets at a time. And then it only lasts about 2 days in the fridge. So that would be wasting tea. So a big girl me decides I will drink hot tea. I found Jacob's old coffee to go cup and started the water. So begins my failure of being a grown up.....

I started heating the water (the packet said not quite to boiling, and not to do it in the microwave, so I had it on the stove). I was busy packing my lunch for the day while it heated. I checked it and it still had a little more time, so I went in the bedroom to get the dogs bones. By the time I got back the water was boiling. So I took it off the stove. Did I mention we don't have a tea pot or anything, so I was boiling it in a pan. I held it over the sink and began to pour it in the cup, and you guessed it, splashed some on my hand. Not too bad. I filled the cup and put in the tea packet. It said to wait 2-3 minutes and then drain the rest of the packet with fingers.

It was super hot, of course, as it had been boiling so when the 3 minutes was up, I tried to release the packet juice, and I burned my thumb and pointer finger. I gave up on trying to get the liquid out, and called it good. I screwed the cap on the cup, and felt like a grown up carrying the cup out to the car. I left the top drinking slit open as to cool it off. It is hot here so I had the air on in the car. I was almost to school, and I decided to take a sip.

It was still SUPER hot. So I burnt my tongue, the roof of my mouth, and I am pretty sure the backside of my throat. Amazing.... I unscrewed the top as to let it cool off more, and turned the corner to get to school. Of course the liquid went flying out of the cup, and onto my leg. My jean shorts took away most of the heat, but still.... grrr....

I am now at school. Slowly sipping the tea. I made the tea almost 2 hours ago, and it is still a little too warm for my liking.

I am pretty sure I fail at being a grown up today...

I'm Just Saying...

...that Stay, by Allie Larkin is an AMAZING, perfect summer read. I understand that I am most likely a little biased, but those who know me, know I can't lie for the life of me. Exaggerate...yes, lie....no. So my sister in law, Allie Larkin, is a new full blown author. Her book will be in bookstores June 10th. But AL was nice enough to send a signed copy to Jacob and I.

It arrived in the mail yesterday, and it had a sticky note in the back. The Larkins are all mentioned in the acknowledgments, which is semi-amazing! I skimmed the acknowledgments and then wrote a message to AL letting her know how thankful I was for the copy, and ahead of time :) I wanted to read Stay, but I was nervous at the same time. It is awesome to know an author, but what if I didn't like the book? I am pretty opinionated, and like what I like, and not what I don't.

So I just sat down on the back porch, in the sun, and opened it. Well to be honest I texted my mom that I was reading AL's book. She can't wait to get her hands on a copy, and I like to brag. Mom and I both love reading, and share a lot of books. Anywho, so I started reading, and I was hooked. No lie, completely and utterly hooked. I read until 5 o'clock, and then made a microwave dinner (Jacob was at drill). I ate it quickly and returned back to the porch. The chair was no longer in the sun, but there was still enough daylight. I kept reading until literally I had to go inside for more light, where I didn't stop reading until I had finished the book. It was 11:30. I can't remember the last time I couldn't find a stopping point in a book.

** I don't want to give away too many details, as my hope is many of you will read it soon ** I felt completely connected to the main character, and it was a light and humorous read. I was gripped by the story, and couldn't wait to turn the page to find out what happened next. I can't wait to discuss different characters with others.

So all that said, please, please, please go out and buy Stay by Allie Larkin, available June 10th. I will be getting at least a copy, or two, to share. The signed one will only be read by Jacob and I. Please check out this website to get more details, and let me know if you want more details (I have connections :)

Again, you can think I am biased because we share a last name, but in all honestly the book was awesome! It will be the perfect accessory to your hot body, while poolside. ;)