So it wasn't completely crazy for Jacob to lean over at the dinner table and say "I guess it is time we can get rid of the cloth diapers."
In my head I know I should have rejoiced, and maybe even participated in a high five, but instead my eyes glossed over and my mind wandered to a very distant place of the past.
It is not that I don't want Ellee to be potty trained. I mean what a dream! Both littles done with diapers! And this Larkin crew goes all in when potty training. Ellee has only worn underwear or pullups at home for the past week. We have a plastic potty in our living room for goodness sake. We go all in.
I did not think I would be one of those moms boo-hooing over their kids getting older. Many know the baby stage is not my favorite by far. But the cloth diapers?
The cloth diapers were my first big "parent" decision when I was pregnant with Cade. And not many decisions were coming from me early in that pregnancy. Between being very sick, by being pregnant and many other health issues, while trying to come to reality that I would be a mom, many evenings were spent on the couch crying. Crying out of fear for my health, my life, "Pat's" life.
The first very vivid pregnancy dream I had was one where Lucie (our Jack Russell mix) had gotten some dirty diapers, that I determined were from a diaper genie, and she had destroyed them all over our couch. We had to throw the couch out. I woke with so many emotions. Could Lucie be that disgusting? We couldn't afford a new couch! How much poop will come from a baby? With that dream fresh on my mind I sat down with many articles, did some number crunching and picked out the cloth diapering system I wanted. My thought: Lucie can't destroy these! And that started my G-Diaper journey.
I have really enjoyed this journey. The adorable G on the back. How huge the diapers made their butts. The pants that didn't fit because of all that "junk" in the trunk. How cute they looked running around the house, and maybe the yard on warm days, in the colorful diapers. When their pants would sag and you would see the cloth sticking out. Putting the diapers on backwards on Cade for a week before we learned the G went in the back.
Five years after making one of my first decision as a mother and they are not needed anymore. Just like that. It seems silly to have the diapers hogging up a drawer in Ellee's dresser. And it only makes sense to give them to a new home that will be able to use them. I went through and organized every drawer in the dresser today, but there is still the stack of G-diapers in the top left drawer.
I am just not ready. And that is okay.
She doesn't need that drawer right now anyway.
