Stuck in the in-between

I was/am not naive to think that all baby weight falls off with the baby.  I knew it would be hard.  I still am aware that it is/will be hard.  But I feel frumpy.  I feel like my skin is forever stretched.

I am stuck in the in between.  I can't fit in my maternity clothes, as they fall down and make me look super frumpy.  But in the same breath I can't fit in my pre-baby clothes, as they are too tight.  So what is one to do?

I start work on Thursday.

I can't wear the maternity clothes I bought, and wore for the past 7 months.  (On a side note, one of the best things I did was buy a few staple outfits in maternity clothes early on in the pregnancy.  I wore those clothes for 7 months of pregnancy and almost a month and half after.  So I almost got a full 9 months out of my purchases.  I didn't buy too many outfits, but for what money I did spend I felt like I got my money worth.)  But those are just too baggy now.  They are all washed and placed in a storage bin, awaiting their next move, and who knows what that is yet.

Then, in my closet, I am left with my pre-Cade clothes.  Most shirts fit...ohhh-kayyyy...., but they cling to the belly region, the area I am trying not to highlight.  But my pants...no way.  I have quite a bit of weight still hanging on my hips, and from what I gather my hips may have widened from birth.  I am okay with the widening of the hips.  Has anyone checked out Cade's shoulders?  I mean I am a pretty small framed chick, and he has long limbs, and broad shoulders.  I am proud I gave birth to him.  I also remember the doctor having to pull, yes with his hands he pulled apart, my pelvis toward the end of labor.  So I am okay that my hips might be wider, but I know there is some weight still hanging on.

I am super sensitive to this issue because I had to work so hard, only 3 years ago, to loose the 45 pounds Prednisone packed on me the last time I was on high dosage.  I joined Weight Watchers, I started Get Fit Atlanta, I started running on a regular basis.  I had just gotten to my pre-sickness weight, about 3 months before I found out I was pregnant.  I worked 3.5 years to get there.

Anyone who has been on a weight loss journey can tell you it takes dedication, commitment, and there are disappointments.  You have to say no to some indulgences, you have to make the time to work out.  You make a life style change, which I still have today.

Overall I only gained 45 pounds with Cade.  That is almost exactly what the doctors wanted me to gain.  I was super happy.  But then I got sick again.  At first the weight came off quickly.  I lost 15 lbs within the first 2 weeks.  But then the dosage of Prednisone dosage went up, and the weight stopped coming off.  I haven't gained more, but I haven't been able to loose any.

So I am at a stuck point.  I don't want to buy more clothes, but all I am left with in the closet are too big, or too small outfits.  I am off Prednisone, and only 2 more treatments left, which means the weight will come off...but how long will it take?  Last time it was 3 years....

So being stuck in the in-between I went out and got two pairs of work pants, some shirts, and two pairs of jeans.  I hope these will get me through until I can fit into my full wardrobe that will sit, unused, in my closet for a few more months.

I have goals, and the determination.  I know it is only 9 weeks post-baby, I am not completely delusional.  But maybe someone should come out with a line of maternity clothes that are marked like baby clothes.  0-3 months after birth, 3 months, 3-6 months after birth, ect...  You could sell the same shirt in a bundle of the different sizes.  I know this makes no sense as everyone's body is different, but man the clothing industry makes bank off of us pregnant ladies.  I like to figure out ways I can stick it to the man anyway I can....

So the plan...go to work rocking my new outfits. Rotate the outfits.  Try not to wear the same outfit on the same day the next week.  Get back to Weight Watchers.  Become a LifeTime member (again) in the next 12 months.  Wear my pre-Cade clothes when I can fit in them again.  Smile, and know I gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Be proud of what my body has been through.  And acknowledge I will, someday, be back to my new happy weight.