Moving my pride aside

I am not very good at asking for help.  I hold high expectations for myself, which has caused me to convince myself to ask for help shows weakness. I am not weak. 

Now my last treatments Jacob went to every one of them.  He is an old pro.  But this time around Jacob is back in police academy.  We all know he MUST be there EVERYDAY, or he will be recycled.  Since we have already recycled once...this is really not an option in my mind.  So this threw yet another curve in the plan.  

So finding myself in this newest predicament, has pushed me into a new realm of trying to bend over backwards and sideways, just so I wouldn't have to write a post like this one.   Yet here I am...

Originally the doctor ordered 4 chemo treatments.  This all went down a day before I was leaving Atlanta for 10 days.  I was able to maneuver my treatments around my travel plans.  First obstacle cleared.  Rituxian treatments take 6 hours and are given a week apart.  I can't take Cade into the chemo room, so next plan: find someone to watch Cade, a week apart.  As I looked at my calendar I noticed that, because I was going back to school on a Thursday if I could get my treatments done early in the week I would have 3 weeks I wouldn't have to get a sub.  Then as a super bonus I noticed we don't have kids Nov. 6, election day.   It became my new plan to find a babysitter for Tuesdays.  Luckily our family friend, who lives by the hospital and LOVES keeping Cade, was avaialble for all four Tuesdays.  I hated asking.  I hated explaining it would be like 6 hours long.  But I did it, I let down my pride, and found Cade a place to stay. 

The first treatment is always the worst.  It has been 4 years since my last treatment.  The doctor warned it would be like taking the drug for the first time.  Last time, the first treatment knocked me on my butt for 2 days, I had a reaction during the infusion causing the doctor to give me very strong drug, and I lost a lot of hair.  So I knew I was going to need help after the first treatment, at least until I could figure out how my body was going to react this time around.  Again, I lucked out, as my sister was planning on coming down.  Trisha went and sat with me on Tuesday.  My body took the drug easily, and they were able to up the speed, so the infusion only took 4 hours, making the whole visit only 6 hours.  I didn't have a reaction, and I even woke up long enough to eat some lunch.  Afterwards I felt great, but I am not allowed to drive after treatment because I am weak, and they give me hydrocodone, and benedryl, in large doses. 

Well, Trisha leaves on Sunday.  I have been so lucky to have her here with me, as she has gotten up with Cade, and allowed me to sleep.  She loves feeding him, which allows me time to get things done around the house.  But she goes home before the next treatment.....

So let me begin with the disclaimer.  On Monday I went in for a CBC to make sure I could take the treatment.  My platelets had skyrocketed.  The doctor was SUPER happy, and almost came bounding into the room.  He asked me if I had stopped breastfeeding, and I said yes (he had asked that I be done feeding by the time I came back).  He almost smiled, and exclaimed "Well the breastfeeding was literally killing you".  He had thought before that the breastfeeding might be creating antibodies, but a doctor doesn't want to tell someone to stop breastfeeding.  I guess breastfeeding just wasn't for me.  The doctor says he is considering not doing a treatment until later.  Then we started discussing other things, like my Prednisone dosage, and we came to the conclusion that my platelets might just be high because of my increased dosage of Prednisone again.  So the plan was, possibly, one treatment and be done. 

Then on Tuesday, yes the next day, the CBC count showed my platelets had dropped 25,000.  So the new plan was do the treatment and then come back next Tuesday and plan on having a treatment, but we might not if my counts are high enough.  Well that puts me in quite a prediciment.  So here I am...swallowing my pride...and asking for a bit of help.....

On Tuesday, Oct. 23 I need someone to:

Come to my house at 8:15 a.m. and bring Cade and I into Buckhead.  We will drop Cade off at the babysitter, and then I will need to be dropped off at Northside for a 9:30 appointment. 

I (might) need someone to be at Northside around 2:30 - 3:00 p.m. to pick me up, and then swing by and pick Cade up, and drive us back home to Smyrna.  This is a might person as I might not take a treatment which means I will be done at 10 and I won't need anyone later.  I would call you by 10 a.m. to let you know if I am having a treatment or not. 

So there it is.  Please email a.a.larkin@hotmail.com, call me, leave a comment on the blog, or FB message me if you might be able to help.  I can't thank you all enough in advance! 

--> And yes, this blog is leaving a bad taste in my mouth... I hate doing this....