I know better

Monday and yesterday I went up to my school to work in my classroom.  Monday, my goal was start with Jacob there, and when he left for work I would stay and start organizing things.  My classroom is on the second floor, and the air conditioning has worked maybe a total of 12 days since we opened the building 3 years ago.  And during the summer months, the air is NEVER working.  Jacob and I worked at moving the heavy stuff, and within 5 minutes we were both covered in sweat.  After 40 minutes, all the things I needed Jacob for were done, and I wasn't ready to spend the day in a swealting room, so I left with him. 

I made a plan for Wednesday and I trekked back in to work.  I was prepared with a box fan, wore shorts and tank tops, and had 3 bottles of water.  I had a list of the items I wanted to get done.  I wanted to empty out my file cabinet (here is a little secret I have about packing up for the summer.  We are told we can't have anything on bookcases, moveable shelves, or desks.  But there is never anywhere to put these things.  So I always stuff my file cabinet, with all the stuff on top of my desk, and two book cases.  I mean the floor people have moving machines.).  Anywho, so the file cabinet had to be emptied and organized, same with my desk drawers, and I wanted to set up my smart board. 

Well I did all that and a whole lot more.  I went slow, but I pretty much pulled everything I would need to start the year out of the cupboards, and got my library set up, the group work area, the art area, my teacher desk area, and threw out a whole bunch of stuff we all know I will never use.  Unfortunately to get a lot of these things done I had to do a lot of lifting books/binders and carrying across the room.  I didn't do anything heavy, but that meant I had to carry less books at once, which meant more trips across the room.  I had the fan going, but I was still a sweaty, dusty mess.  I drank what I wanted, but I know I should have drank more. 

By 2:30 I was actually exhausted.  I was very tired.  But overall I was super happy with my progress.  I drove home, ate some dinner, and feel asleep while sitting up.  When I woke up from my "nap" I knew the feeling I had.  My limbs were really heavy, my head was super groggy, I couldn't focus, and it took a lot for me to keep my eyes open. 

I used to live this way, on a regular basis.  When something is wrong with you blood, your immune system is compromised, which, in my case, creates this sense of being exhausted.  I can sleep all night long, then take a 5-6 hour nap, another 2 hour nap a few hours later, and still go to bed at regular time and sleep a whole night.  My friend Shane and I used to wonder if he just let me sleep how long I would sleep.  We never tried it, but I know I can easily sleep for over 16 hours. 

I know my platelets are low.  I could have told you they are, even if I didn't have the blood work to show it.  I know this exhausted feeling.  It is a different kind of feeling.  To top it all off, I am carrying Pat.  With pregnancy comes exhaustion. 

So last night when Jacob came home, he knew something wasn't right.  I was slurring words, not talking, not mentally present.  Just super tired.  We made sure today I didn't have any reason to leave the house, and I was to stay home and rest as much as possible.  So we go to bed, and the only thing on the calendar was our morning run.  But I guess I had pregnancy insomnia or something, because I stayed up almost all night not being able to rest my mind.  I was exhausted, but just couldn't find sleep.  I have never had this kind of trouble.  When I finally got out of bed at 4:30 I woke Jacob up and told him there was no way I was running.  I got up and ate some breakfast. 

It is still hard to explain.  I move around in a fog when I am tired like that.  I finally feel asleep watching the morning news somewhere around 6 am.  I have been sleeping on and off all day.  I know I over did it yesterday.  I know better than to act like my body is as normal as it was last year at this time.  But I act like I am invinciable, until I am left so tired I can't get myself out of bed for an entire day.

So because I do know better, I am doing nothing today.  I will probably take a few more naps before I fall asleep tonight.  I am blessed that I haven't felt this way until now.  I don't take that for granted.  I will need to find a balance of ITP, pregnancy, and going to work everyday, because I do know what will happen if I don't.....