The story about how we found out. I am sure there are way better stories out there but this one belongs to the Larkins.
Jacob and I had discussed at length the idea of a family. Jacob really had the bigger want to start a family with humans, than I did. We talked with my doctor about it. His words of advice, let him know when we were going to start trying, and for safety reasons the child should be born before I turned 30. Well the clock is ticking. We were going to have to try this year, 2012, if it was meant to be. We were completely aware that the chances of sustaining a fetus were very slim. We were still in the talking stage at the beginning of this year.
I knew I was "late" but even on the pills my blood messed up a lot. I wasn't too concerned about. We started back to school on a Wednesday. That day I received a text from a school friend that said "saw you on the playground. You looked really happy" I didn't think too much about it, because I was trying to keep a happy face on, returning back to school.
Then on Jan. 5 I was talking to my kids about getting a substitute for my three days I would miss in Feb. I was going to take their requests first. They suggested a great sub, but I had to let them know she was doing a long term position in 4th grade, and would still be there when I would need her. But when I saw the sub in the hallway I thought it would be nice for me to let her know she was my kids first pick for a sub. She thanked me, and let me know when she would be free again so I could use her later in the year. Then she looked at me, and said "Is everything all good? (she then did a circling motion around my stomach area) You just look radiant!" I text Jacob right after that conversation, as radiant is what they call pregnant women. I wasn't pregnant. Was I?
I made Jacob buy some tests on his way home, and I drank a whole bunch of water. We took the first test and I just told Jacob we were taking it to make sure I wasn't. Just to prove it to me. We sat side by side on the bed with the test in my hand, and Jacob holding the direction/key sheet. The first test VERY clearly showed a positive. But that couldn't be right. So we took another one, within the next hour. That one VERY clearly had the same marks as the first.
Since they looked the same, that meant something must be wrong. There was a mistake. So I sent Jacob back out to the store to buy another set of tests. I would take it in the morning. That would make it difference.
I took the third test in the morning before work. It clearly said positive. Three times, and the same result. I called the doctors and made an appointment for a confirmation. It was confirmed Jan. 7.
And that is the story. So now there are going to be three....
1 comment:
Amanda, I do not even know where to begin. I do understand though- and i do not feel like there is anything wrong with you feeling this way. I am still struggling after 16 months of being a mom of coming to terms with it. I am such a selfish person that the thought that i clearly have to put her needs ahead of my own was a huge struggle for me, as well as adjusting my social life and more to accompany her.
However with that said, you are in a much better position that I am/was/ever will be in. You and Jacob are married- and let me tell you the finances always work themselves out, I do not know how they just do- you will have support through all of this, and next school year, Amanda that's next year. Focus on you today.
Take it from me, I'm 22, unwed, single (completely single) mother, with no support at all from her daughter's father or his family and all I have my my little strain of sanity and my family to help me, otherwise it's all downhill from there. I still do not feel like I should be a mother to my daughter, and I fight with myself daily over if I did the right thing or not by keeping her and not putting her up for adoption, but every morning that baby wakes up and I hear her say mama mama and hug me and kiss me it makes it all worth while.
I will be praying for you guys and I will pray that you find peace in all this and you realize that you are worthy enough for this child! God chose you both for a reason, never doubt that.
Kaitlyn
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