I married into the military

I am a military wife. I knew that would be the title going into our marriage. I have supported Jacob through the decision to join the military, the tests to get in, through basic, jump school, MOS (his job) training, living on the base in NC, and then the news of his first deployment. After all of that I felt like I had a pretty good idea what it might take to be a military wife.

When Jacob brought up the idea of marrying before his first deployment, we were engaged, and just shy of 21 years old. I had just had my first major health battle, and Jacob was concerned. If we were just "engaged" and something serious happened to me medically, he would have no leeway to get back to the United States to be with me. His heart was in the right place. My parents had already said I could marry him (he had asked before the proposal), so really I was faced with the decision of a lifetime.

I am a logical thinker. So logically I thought it through. Jacob was in the military. He liked it. He felt a sense of service. He had talked about retirement from the Army. We were just 21. I hadn't finished my undergrad degree yet. I had just been diagnosed with an idiopathic blood disorder. I knew what being a military wife meant. Moving, having no say over big decisions, possibly a lot of alone time, and then of course there was carrying on with life during deployments.

And if my mom had thought I wasn't thinking all my angles through, in her wonderful frank way she just laid it all out for me. I clearly remember tears running down my cheeks, as I walked back to my off campus apartment, from a late class. My mom finished the conversation with "he has the best intentions, and a good heart". That had sealed the deal.

Five days later, we were joined by our parents, and siblings at a Holland courthouse. I was young, I will never say I knew that this was going to be the right answer. I will say I have a wonderful marriage, that has not come without a lot of work. But I think that is normal for a marriage, and 100% normal for a military marriage.

I knew what I was getting into. I have survived a deployment to Iraq, 6 months of Jacob living in Ft. Bragg, and 4 years of monthly reserve solo weekends. I have logically worked my way through this next deployment.

Jacob is an amazing soldier. I am one proud Army Airborne wife. I will continue to support my soldier, even when that support looks like me continuing my life here in Georgia, solo, for the lack of a better word.

I am not one to want pity, and I definitely do not want it during this next deployment. Support, caring words, prayers, and lots of visitors would be right up my ally. Pity. No. I knew what I was getting in, when I married into the military.