Peace will enter the hearts who seek it

We are less than 12 hours before I at least will be given a time to enter the hospital.   I left my classroom today with everything done that I could possibly do.  I have to know there is nothing more I can do, and must trust that the other staff and administration will make sure learning takes place within my classroom. 

I have become a lot more calm about the induction decision.  It has been hard, and I still wouldn't be completely against my water breaking around 1 am this morning.  But since I have yet to feel even a braxton hick contraction I am not holding my breath for nature to take over.  

Jacob decided that he will be recycled to the next recruiting class.  He spoke with his higher ups, and as much as they wanted to help him, he has to be present in class from 10 - 4 tomorrow.  The classes are Georgia state mandated, so without the classes he cannot be certified as a police officer.  If he were to leave, or not be there he would automatically be recycled. 

This decision weighs heavy on my heart.  I feel completely guilty.  Jacob is making what I consider to be a huge sacrifice.  He is at peace with it.  I am floundering around.  If I wasn't sick, we wouldn't be inducing, if we weren't inducing he would be at class tomorrow.  If he were at class tomorrow he wouldn't have to re-do the three weeks of academy that he already has completed.  He wouldn't have to wait until Oct, to get started again.....It all boils down to me....

He is upset that I am saying this.  I am an honest person, and won't stop today.  I have an underlying feeling that this is the right path.  Jacob had a very in depth and intellectual conversation with his superiors.  He feels that this is not only the right decision but the one that makes the most sense overall.  I trust his judgment. 

My best friend Shane broke the whole situation this way "I know what an extraordinarily difficult decision that must have been.  Either choice would have been 100% understandable.  I'm sure he will have absolutly no regrets.  Just shows what kind of husband he is, and the kind of father he will be. "  I must go with that.  Well stated my Nerd. 

I will leave you with a picture we took yesterday.  I am still in shock that I have made it to 39 weeks and 5 days.  But tomorrow awaits, and I guess the future that I have no idea where to even begin will start.