How I am Doing IT

Day 183

Once we have sured up that Jacob is still gone, they check in with how we are doing, then they say "I don't know how you are doing IT."  I have a fleeting moment where I think, I should laugh it off, and maybe even have a response like " I don't know either".  But in all honesty...

I know how I am doing it.

I know all of the hours of prep work that went into this deployment flowing well.  I know how much thought and energy went into thinking of the many scenarios of the what-if's and creating a clear path of simplicity (or at least how simple we could make it).

First off I know every family is different but I have taken most of these ideas from other families and changed things just enough to work for our family.  Maybe something that is working over here might help someone else.

Second, my personality is a to-do list lover, color coded calendar fanatic, and I naturally lean on the minimalist/organized side.  Although in life situations such as this all of these traits help, remember there are I-am-ruining-my-kids-futures moments on the regular, and being so type A is very hard with the abundant negative inner thoughts that carve their way through my mind daily.  There are always pros and cons to how everyone is wired, and finding a balance (even though I hate that word and don't believe there is a true balance in life) that you can go to bed feeling good is what my goal is everyday.

One of the big things I think assisted with the transition to deployment was that we have always done the same routine with the kids if it is mommy who is home, or daddy is home, both of us or even sitter.  We try to keep the routine the same no matter who is here.  So when all of a sudden one day daddy is gone, for a long time, nothing really changes in our everyday routine.

First, the day starts the night before.  Lunches are packed and in the fridge.  Dishes are out of the sink and in the dishwasher.  Showers are done the night before.  Right now we are not picking out kid clothes the night before but we have done that, however, my outfits are picked out the night before.  Kids' and mommy's backpack/purse/workout clothes are packed and set up on the table ready to be grabbed on the way out of the door.

I am a strong believer of waking before the kids.  And my kids wake early.  School days my alarm goes off at 4:30a, so I have plenty of quiet time to workout, read, pray, watch the news (if I am watching it), or fold laundry all before the kids wake up.  I do not have time to do all of those things everyday but more of combination of some things I know I enjoy starting my day with.  I even wake before the kids on the weekends, as I find it helps me center myself and have a few clear thoughts before I am bombarded with kid jabber.

We have a morning routine.  M-F is the same routine every day.  Wake at the same time, move through the same motions. It takes the kids 30 mins from the time they wake, to complete their morning tasks, and be in the car.  Saturday mornings have their own routine, and then Sunday has its own.  If there is going to be a change, it is discussed the night before.

Our evenings are very similar and follow a consistent nighttime routine, but depending on outside events the order may change.  But for the most part as soon as we get home it is homework time, while I cook dinner.  We eat as close to 5:30 as possible.  That leaves time afterwards for a little play time.  Kids in the shower at 6:30, and if they have earned cartoons they get 20 mins of cartoons from 6:50(ish) to 7:10.  Then it is reading in bed, and lights out by 7:30p.  That leaves me a little time to get some school work done, get the kitchen cleaned up, and pack everything for the next day.  My goal every night is to be in bed by 9p.

I am a planner, and I have plans set up by month, week, and day.  I revisit the plan for the month at the start of each month by creating a large calendar in the kitchen.  When Jacob is here it helps us stay on track with what is going at a quick glance, and we plan our meals by the month, which help us make weekly grocery lists.  We use Google Calendar and everyone is color coded.  This is very helpful when Jacob is here as I can see what he has planned and he can see what I am doing.  It is also helpful for me as I can put in events months in advance and not have to try and remember them all.  I have a child care plan for the whole month done at the start of the month.  Every weekend I do a look over the next week.  It is at this point I put in the unplanned events in the calendar to make it fit; like workouts, library visits, school projects or special days, stores we have to get to, etc.  Every night after the kids are in bed I run through what needs to be done the next day.  If there is something out of the ordinary, I write a sticky note with what needs to be done and I stick it on my car audio display, so I can't miss it.

And the last thing that I think that allows things to run as smoothly as possible is everything has a time for it to be done.  And, to clear my brain of keeping those tasks, I have a reminder that goes off on my phone so I don't have to spend any extra energy  trying to keep it all straight.  Laundry - Wednesday and Saturday.  Trash - Monday, Wednesday, Saturday.  Groceries - Saturday. Change sheets and towels, refill medication, upload pictures, switch the air filter, setting different alarms, etc.  Everything that needs to be done, has a time, and I have a way to remember it.  One of my podcasts says: something that can be done at any time is often done at no time.  I use the app Due.  I went through a lot of apps before I landed on this one . It has been worth whatever small amount I paid for it.

I am no superwoman.  Any of us in this situation would be able to do IT.  But I will say to do IT with a smile, feel successful, and have pretty happy kids,  IT does take a lot of "doing".   I am not doing anything other families have not had to do, but I will admit, most days I feel like I am doing IT pretty well!