In my world I look at a calendar year and know I have a whole bunch of months and then I have August. August gets its own category for me. August is the start of school, and as an elementary teacher my evenings are long, my days exhaust me, and my weekends are filled with paper work, color coding, and writing my students names a million times for the month of August. Once Labor Day hits I normally have most things under control, I am back to just the regular expectations for teachers, and I can fall into more of a balance that includes self care and family time. August is the month that I know I will be consumed by work and I allow the balance to get heavy on the work side because I know it is only August.
When we found out Jacob was being deployed and dates were being thrown out, we were so thankful he would be here to support me through August. I knew if he was here for August I could gather all my strength, push through, and set myself up for a school year with him being gone. And that is what we did. After August #1 he left and I felt secure with a set up classroom (I had just moved classrooms again), a schedule that I could lesson plan for, and I knew the job as this was my 4th year in the ESOL position. The day he left for deployment I knew work would take a back burner to my family needs and I was ready.
Five days after Jacob left I was asked to take over a 3rd grade homeroom position. There were many reasons why this decision weighed very heavily on me, and honestly I didn't like the situation that arose for me to have to be asked. But I knew what the answer should be. I knew what would be best for the students. I was placed as a 3rd grade homeroom teacher on a Friday, and expected to begin teaching two days later on that Monday.
I found myself in August #2. I had to move my classroom. I had to learn a new schedule. I had to write the students names 100 times. I had to learn new routines. I found myself right back in that "month of August", except it wasn't August. I stopped running. I picked the kids up way too late. I found myself waking early, and going to sleep way to late just to try and get it all in. And this "August" I was alone. No one at home to help.
Of course things got easier. I have a fabulous 3rd grade team, and a co-teacher I am positive I couldn't have done this year without. And I was able to find my balance again. I was able to get some runs in after school, I started sleeping more than a couple hours a night, and my time with my real kids on the weekend went back to being kid centered.
Now enter this past week. I found myself in August #3 for this school year. I had to move my "classroom" to my basement. I had to come up with a totally new schedule. My school and students had multiple needs, and I was in triage mode. But as we have already established Jacob is still gone, and my "real" kids were also in triage mode. They were also ripped out of their routine, and were now getting their education from their mom in the basement. I floundered. I cried multiple nights. I stayed up way too late, and got up early in the morning just to do more work. I had to work on "classroom expectations" with Cade and Ellee, while teaching "online expectations" to my students through different modes of streaming. I was creating a whole new set of "online" curriculum while also learning pre-k and 1st grade standards. I was making sure we spent part of our day in Spanish. I had to learn all my school's new online programs, while also learning my son and daughters online programs. Oh, and someone has to do the laundry, cook the meals, and make sure the animals are kept alive. This past week I felt like everything took a backseat to my work for the third time this year.
Now, we are a week into this "new normal". I think I have found a happy balance of office hours, online real time teaching, online learning for Cade and Ellee, and me one on one instructing them in our make-shift home school. And if all goes as planned next week I will be back to just being "mom" at 4pm everyday. My third grade team and set of administrators have made it possible for me to feel okay going into week 2 instead of this unbalance dragging on for a few more weeks. My class and their parents have been so filled with grace and kindness as we all are finding our way through digital learning.
On kind of a side note I am in awe of the teaching profession. What we went through as a profession in the last week (at least here in Georgia it all went down last week) is something I hope to never have to go through again, yet I feel so proud to be a teacher. Our profession was shoved in a corner, given no extra resources, given high expectations, and honestly a list of must dos that were unheard of in our profession anytime before. And yet, I personally know so many who never complained, put our problem solving minds on and solved all of the problems. We are a week into this and I know I (or my co-teacher, who we are in contact all day long) have been in contact with every student in our class, we have figured out technology needs for specific students, have taught an entire week of curriculum, and "met" with our class twice last week. We have reassured students through messages, phone calls, video chats, and comments on a classroom platform. We have held our heads high, and come out stronger as a profession than anytime in my 13 years of teaching. Way to go teachers. I know we have always known our worth but I think others are starting to take note. I have always been proud to be a teacher, but this past week has shown me exactly why I have always felt this way.
This school year will be one I will look back on and probably wonder how I made it through, but also I hope it will serve as an inspiration in the way of me thinking "well you made it through the 2019-20 school year, you can do anything" kind of way. But dang. This school year has been so full of "Augusts".
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