Love, A

My mom is probably pretty mad about the use of the picture above.  And I can understand why.  I mean how dare I put up a picture of her not looking as fabulous as she does now.

It is one of my favorite pictures.

This was taken after my senior year Miller Show Concert, which is the final concert of the marching band season.  It was an end of an era that had meant a lot to me through college.  It marks almost the end of my undergrad years, which really helped shape me.  It is my last picture in my uniform.  

My mom was is not musical.  She does find the beauty in music.  When I was "fitted" for the clarinet in 5th grade, she bought me a used clarinet, when I know we didn't have a ton of money to spare.  She supported me practicing in the living room, on the front porch, and in my bedroom.  She would laugh under her breath as our family black lab would cower away from me when he would see the clarinet case come out.  She was at every band concert middle through high school, and drove to see me march in college, way more times than I can count.  She was always the loudest cheering mom when we would march past her in parades.  She had a Zeeland shirt with all of my siblings names, and graduating year she wore it to every football game.   She still plays my marching band cd's (yes, I marched before the i-Tunes days) around the house.  She loves to play them when she cleans.  She put a lot of passion behind her support of something she doesn't necessarily understand. 

In this picture my mom was also at her heaviest.  There are pictures of my mom in the 80's when she was rail thin.  I only remember my mom having curves.  Her size never meant anything to me as a child.  But being a mother now, I can see how your own body type can bother you as a mother if it is not exactly how you envisioned it.

This picture is also the last picture I know of, that my mother was this size.  Soon after this picture was taken she joined Weight Watchers, and became the size that helps her live life more in the moment.  I have never seen my mom look this way since.
 

This picture means a lot to me when I look at it.  I see a woman who is super proud of me.  I see a mom who drove a heck of a lot of miles to see her daughter while off at college (and even more miles to see me now).  A mom who refused to come pick up her daughter after a month at college, because she knew I was strong enough to push through.  I remember a mom who listened quietly when I thought I was going to quit school and move to North Carolina. This woman has the patience of a saint.  She never showed any weakness when she held my hand for first bone marrow biopsy.  I see a mom who has supported her daughter to marry her high school boyfriend who was going to Iraq. All of this after I had become an "adult". 

I see a woman who has shown she has the power to get back in the life she wanted. I see a fighter.  I see a strong woman.  I see someone I only hope I am one tenth of.

So mom. 

I couldn't find a card that said all that.  So,

Happy Mother's Day.

Love A