And it looms over me

I am 12 days away from my first full marathon. 26.2 miles. It will take over 5 hours. I have not really been giving this race very much thought. Until this morning.

My alarm went off at 7. I was suppose to get up and hit they gym. It was only going to be in the high 20's so running outside was not the best plan. So the alarm went off...and off...and I hit sleep...then sleep again...and again...until it was 8 a.m. Now when I say I don't have anything to do, really I have no real deadlines of any kind. Nothing scheduled, nothing urgent, nothing I have on the calendar. So waking up at 7 was not an absolute. But I knew I should get up and get some kind of exercise in.

I moseyed out of bed around 8 and went to eat some breakfast while watching the news. I looked over my to do list (which is a list of things that should get done....but not necessary) and decided I would clean the bathroom, vacuum, and just clean up the living room. I did it all, well technically Jacob cleaned the bathroom. I hate that job. I will do any other chore than that. So after that I decided it was best if I went for a short run. It was in the 40's by then, and I have enough cold weather running clothes.

So out I go....and the thoughts start looming. I was running 5 miles today. The race is over 5 times that. Would I be hydrated enough? What will I eat the night before? What if going to Universal Studios is a bad idea? What if my cold/back injury did more damage than I thought to my training. What if I slip on ice on this run? What should I bring to fuel up? What should I wear? What if I forget my shoes? What if the dogs chew my sunglasses? What if my family can't find me on the race course? What if I lose the camera? What if I get hurt during the race? What if I don't finish? What if it takes me longer than 7 hours, and I get swept up?

And it keeps going. The nerves have set in.

Part of my nerves comes from the pressure/competitive spirit I put on myself. I am competitive at heart. Now I know there is no way I will win....or place in my age group. I want to finish. I want to finish before the 7 hours that they give you. Actually I have to finish before 7 hours otherwise they will sweep you up. Then of course there is the fact that Mom, Duane, Trisha, and Rob (T's fiance) will all be there cheering us on. This is GREAT, but I don't want to disappoint either. All they want is a finish. Maybe even a smile at the finish line. It will be great to see them on the side lines, and really knowing they will be there has been a driving force to keep up my training. I don't want to disappoint.

But it is only 12 days away. 9 days away from us leaving for Florida. 12 days to stay injury free. 12 days to keep eating healthy. 12 days to drink enough water to keep my body functioning.

In 13 days I will have completed something only 1% of the population can say they have done. I will push my body to the furthest it has ever been up to now. In 13 days I will have cramped legs, probably be chaffed, and sore muscles covering my body, but I will have a mickey mouse shaped medal and bragging rights that I ran further than my commute to work.

But for the next 12 days....26 miles will loom over me.....