Clearing my Brain

I feel like my brain is on 230% all of the time. I think I have found my breaking point. Now....right before I literally take a jump off the side of the ship, I need to start taking action to stop my life from being like this.

For the past week I just feel like I have been in a fog. I can't seem to focus on one thing long enough to complete it, or do it justice really. Everything is done with half my effort, if it gets complete at all. And the worst part is I am busy constantly. It is not like I don't have the energy to complete these tasks, but I have too much on my plate.

So today I submitted my final thesis platform paper. I technically had until Thursday, but this morning I woke up feeling more tired than I ever have. I felt like I had not slept in weeks. I discussed this with Jacob and he tells me that I was talking in my sleep, waking up, constantly moving, essentially all night long. So my brain never shut off (okay I know your brain is very active when you sleep, so technically I never got to the third step in REM sleep, but just bare with me). So it felt like I didn't sleep at all.

On my drive to church I (don't judge this next statement) was at a point on the highway I didn't remember how long I had been driving. It was at that point I decided I had to turn in my thesis. It seems to be the one thing that is just looming over me, distracting my every thought. After church I drove home ( I am hoping with more thought to the actual driving) I looked over my paper one more time. Then one more time, and then one more time. I found myself getting more and more stressed, so I just went to my email and submitted it.

Then I went and took a 3 hour nap.

When I woke up I felt so much better.

I think this was a great decision. I can now focus on my research paper, and presentation. Of course I have a huge meeting with my Principal tomorrow that will free parts of my brain too. Then I have teaching, and a lot of after school, school commitments this week. But at least I feel like I can take on this week.

I hope that I can start writing more positive notes soon. I just haven't had a lot of positivity left in my life for the past two weeks or so.

I did have two PR 3 mile runs this week. My best one was 31:15 and that was on a super hilly course. I am super happy about that. That helps me not think about my worst run ever that just happen to also take place this week. End on a positive....

I know I can make it through the next week.