Jacob arrived home July 10th. The official day is what we in the military call the homecoming. What comes after is the re-entry phase.
Re-entry.
He is to enter again back into civilian life. Enter back into the house. Enter back into routines. Go back to his career. Return to regular life.
It is what we look forward to, actually count down to, from the moment he leaves. And then it really happens. And you know what. It is never easy.
The 24 hours leading up to his homecoming was a rollercoaster. Because we have children of the age that either have to go along with me to the airport, or we need to get them cared for. We had to involve a few people who got to ride the rollercoaster with me. He had to quarantine, darn COVID, but he quarantined away from Georgia so it was easy to feel like he was still overseas. Then his out-processing started and the rush was on. We went from him arriving after midnight one night, to him coming in at 11:30am the next morning in a matter of hours. I was a case of butterflies driving to pick him up from the airport. I've known him since I was 11 years old but the fear of if we still fit into each other's lives after 10 months apart was there somewhere.
All fear disappeared after the first hug. The homecoming. Once I sat down in the car with his bags in the trunk, and him next to me, I physically felt a weight lift off of me. I didn't even know I was carrying around such a weight, but I felt it when it was gone.
We were able to surprise the kids with the help of a few wonderful friends. We went home to enjoy the rest of our homecoming. We did a whole lot of nothing. And it was wonderful.
And the next day re-entry began. That afternoon I found Jacob looking wide eyed at me as Cade and Ellee ran around the house in their normal fashion. But he wasn't so used to "normal" anymore. Jacob had to force me out of the kitchen as just out of habit I was starting the dishes even though I had cooked. He also had to deal with a super clingy wife, as I was so afraid if he left, even to run to the store, that feeling/the weight would return. Jacob had to face the reality that Lola, our eldest dog, was very ill. He needed a car. The lawn needed to be mowed. The kids need a lot. There is little down time, during daylight hours. I had to remember to communicate again. Like say things out loud, and discuss ideas and plans with another person. We stepped on each others feet, and were constantly bumping into each other in the kitchen.
We had lost our ability to seamlessly be in the same space.
But it came back. Slowly, but it did come back. We are over 3 months in now, and I think we are just getting our groove to a place where we are both getting what we need/want. I stayed clingy for about 2 weeks and then I remembered how independent I really am. This whole re-integration probably took a whole lot longer this time around as the world we are trying to gain our togetherness back in isn't normal. We found our groove back with household duties. It has been such a relief to have someone to share the duties with. We have been able to put back in place some of the best practices that worked for us before he left.
Sometimes it seems like he never left. But there are still reminders. Ellee is still very clingy. Cade asks about the next time daddy will have to leave. Jacob went out one night this month and wasn't home for bedtime. Both kids were a little put off, and asked how many nights daddy would be away.
We won't pretend it is perfect yet. But dang, having all four of us back in the house is way better than one year ago.
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