As Long As They Are Alive

Since last week Cade was "impaled" right under his ribs so nothing to protect his organs, by his bike handle bars, Ellee's foot swelled so taunt we finally went to the doctor after a mystery bug bit the back of her leg, and Cade forgot his desk drawer was open and scraped 6 inches of skin off his back...but, BUT we have had dinner at the table every night. 

You win some, you lose some.  

When we first found out we were pregnant with Cade (well baby Pat back then), we were sitting on the edge of the bed in disbelief.  Both scared, I remember telling Jacob there was no 50/50, it was either 100/100 or we weren't doing it.  He looked at me and in maybe not these exact words he said, as long as the kid is alive everyday we are doing something right.  

With the bar set pretty low for our parenting journey I can say we have succeed up to this date and time.  Some days harder than others.  Both kids have been under sedation for pretty serious surgeries before they were two.  We have shown up at urgent care more times that I can count.  And Ellee's whole vision debacle, you know she couldn't really see anything...close up or far away for the first three years of her life.  And yet I can think back to the first real parenting conversation we ever had and think, we must be doing something right?!

Jacob has been gone a lot.  For long periods of time.  And we aren't even to the "really long time", as we are calling it yet.  Ellee started this year asking for Jacob every night he was gone. She doesn't ask every night anymore.  Today at her PreK, yup you read that right Pre-K, orientation she told her teachers daddy isn't here because he is at work.  Not like they asked her about where her dad was, she just blurted it out as soon as the words hi came out of their mouths. She did it three separate times.  Clearly she is missing her daddy.  I didn't correct her, or go into any explanations. We have a written letter we will be giving their teachers when he does officially deploy, but before that their teachers may actually see him, so no reason to confuse anyone.   

Cade seems unchanged.  Overall no behavior abnormalities.  He talks about how he can't wait to build this with daddy, or show this to daddy.  He is constantly bringing me my phone to text daddy when I am struggling with anything.  I mean clearly daddy knows and can do all, even from over the phone.   He can count on the calendar how many days before Jacob is back, which he does every morning.  And when Ellee asks anything about her dad he always responds "Ellee, (insert a sigh sometimes) he is gone with the Army".  Every time.

Me?  Jury is out.   Of course missing my partner in crime, but also capable of getting stuff done. The kids and I have had a great mix of being productive, getting errands done, cleaning, crossing things off to-do lists, and having fun.  I have had a decent ability to talk with Jacob throughout the week, so that has been very helpful!  Sometimes it is after the kids go to bed, but at least it is something.  It has been a great summer overall.    

We are gearing up for big trip ourselves.  It is the last big bam of summer.  Cade and Ellee start back to school August 1st, so we will be coming back just in the nick of time in a couple weeks.  

I have a pretty good feeling I can keep up my end of the bargain and keep the kids alive each day.  But what about their spirit?  What about their emotional health?  Maybe if I focus on our first and only goal, everything else will fall into place.