Disney

When we started planning our 2019 Disney trip, a year ago, we had no idea how perfectly timed it would be.  Anytime we plan a vacation it is with the risk and understanding Jacob may be called away for either the Army or the police.  He will do everything he can to attend, but a good majority of the time we have to change our plans, or he has to do only part of the trip. But somehow those 10 days, the longest trip we have ever taken as a family of four, fit right in between all of his trainings and before the deployment.  And wow, did we need those 10 days.  

I know Disney isn't for everyone, but as someone who loves the whole atmosphere of awe, wonder, and magic it is a very special place for me.  And then to experience Disney with young children it almost becomes indescribable.  To watch Ellee, whose eyes lit up and she was turning her head back and forth during the It's A Small World ride made my heart flutter.  To help Cade process through new, and scary to him, rides and then walk off of the rides and he would tell me " I kinda liked one part of that" (which is a total win for that guy) made my heart skip a beat.  And we got to experience it all together.  

The kids got to pick who they wanted to ride rides with, who they would walk with, who would pick them up, who would push the stroller, who they would share their sweet treat with, whose hand they would hold, mommy or daddy.  Mommy or daddy.  They got a whole straight 10 days, uninterrupted, of mommy and daddy.  

I tend to cry easily, which is a surprise to most people.  My tears button is a little on the sensitive side so tears find themselves in my eyes often.  And this trip was no exception. I cried while we were waiting in line for a character and I saw how "big" Ellee looked.  She was standing in line, talking with her cousins, taller than I remembered, and she was smiling sooooo big. Tears. After answering Cade's 100th question about the Haunted House he said "I guess I can do this".  Tears.  We went on the ride Soarin' and as we "flew" over the Serengeti I looked over at Ellee and she had her hands up and she was squealing "We are part of the movie mommy".  Tears.  Cade's excitement after riding  The Living Land ride, which is a calm educational boat ride in which you learn about farming and using the land for good, and I realized those are his kind of rides.  Tears.  Watching both the kids with eyes large and mouths slightly ajar during the end of the day Magic Kingdom firework show.  Tears.  

I lived in the moment for most of the trip.  Forgot about the future we are walking into.  We went into vacation mode, and didn't give much thought to life outside of what was happening in the next few moments. 

But now that we are home the thoughts are whirling in my mind.  The sadness that Jacob will be missing out on those sorts of events.  The thoughts of how many moments the kids will have memories of but their dad won't be in them.  Who will I secretly roll my eyes with when Cade asks another question about the ride's safety?  Who will help me remove Ellee when her hanger has caused her to lose her mind in a restaurant?  And then my mind wanders to if I can do any of this alone?  

This trip was so well planned.  This trip gave me the strength I needed to remember I can do it.  I will be able to share with Jacob all of the moments that happen every day, even if I forget a few of them along the way.  The kids will still be connected to their dad because we have been so intentional up until this point, and will continue to be while he is away.  These memories, these whole 10 days, will serve us all so well as we go into the future.