This has been the question on my mind for a couple of months. I fell off the writing wagon. Not only did I fall off, I couldn't even gather my thoughts in enough of a paragraph like form to get them out on this screen, which I guess means I wasn't even chasing the wagon to try and jump back on. Try as I might to craft a new post in all of my spare time any second of the day I didn't decide sleeping was more important, I couldn't get myself around to clicking on the blog icon and trying to get started again.
Then this article came across my Facebook news feed yesterday. I guess that shows where I have really been spending my extra non-sleeping time. It is a great article because one it is written by my sister-in-law, and two it really spoke to me about a topic that I am all to aware of, but unwilling to spend any energy really thinking about.
Balance.
Although this article was written for "real" writers, you know the kind that are actually good enough to make a little money, I felt like this far fetched idea of balance can really disappear for almost everyone. Or maybe I just want to seem normal so I have decided it is a struggle for all. As I scrolled through some of the comments it seems that most people felt that you could pick and choose your top (3-5) priorities, and anything else you have to let fall by the wayside.
I have to say I completely agree. I also feel like I have done a pretty good job about picking the way I would rather spend my time and then throwing in a few of those "responsibilities" that get tacked on as an adult. For example I would rather spend time reading with Boo than keeping my house as clean as I used to. I have decided to not bring any work home during the week, because I get as little time with the babes as it is, and why should grading those classwork projects get in the way of that. Okay, so some of my decisions have been easier than others. I have decided making it home for family dinner is a must, even if it means I have to give up my run, because I had another after school meeting.
So reflecting on those decisions what does that say about me? What have I decided to prioritize? And then the big question that surrounds this abstract word balance, do I have it?
I have what is balance for me. I have shifted my focus from my career to my family. This seems like it would be an easy one, but honestly I am career driven, I guess one of my more masculine traits. I have to make a conscious effort to make sure this is happening. I do slide in my working out the best I can. I find this such an important aspect for my life in multiple ways that pushing it out completely would leave me as a shell of a person. I attend different "small groups" which allows me to work on my marriage, myself, and friendships, so to me I am getting a big bang for my buck with the few hours I give every week.
But I think what sidles right up with the word balance is the word comparison. In the mommy-world this word is thrown out often as if to try and confuse moms into thinking they are not comparing, if they say they are not enough times in one conversation. But that is what I really gained from reading a handful of the comments from article. What works for one person doesn't work for another. Balance is not a balancing act that you have to put on for all to see. Balance is what it feels like on the inside. How you feel when you go to bed. How balanced you feel as you make your way through a week.
So how does the scale of your life feel at the end of the day? At the end of the week? Are you giving more energy to one area of your life than another? Are you happy with how that feels? Should you take my sister-in-laws path and ground yourself from something? I am hoping as I move through the next few months my balance includes less work on the weekends, and more time getting my thoughts out on here.
So raise your glass. Here's to finding that middle place. Not too much focus in one area, but enough in the areas that we need to feel complete. Here's to finding balance.
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