I needed this class

Tomorrow is my last day with this year's batch of third graders.  As any teacher does, this is a time to reflect on what happened these past 9 months.  This year is a little different.  I can't help but remember where I was at this time last year. 

Last year's class was a difficult group of students. I went on maternity leave 3 weeks into the school year.  I ran my classroom from my living room all of Sept and Oct; which included anything from fielding parent emails, phone calls, dismissal changes, required paperwork/online duties from Atlanta Public Schools, entering grades, and trying to keep tabs on where my kids were academically.  Maternity leave was so tough.  Being a new mom was tough.  Finding my new balance in life was difficult. I fought through post pregnancy hormones, trying to lose baby weight, chemotherapy, and the natural demands of being a classroom teacher. 

Last year we had some redistricting take place which led us to hire a large group of teachers, some new to teaching, and some new to our school.  Either way they all came in with paychecks larger than mine.  The blow was low, and it hit my "totally-unfair" button, but no where to go.  I was beat.  Emotionally, physically, and mentally.

As I mentioned before I had a rough class.  A group of students who had just been through redistricting and didn't want to be at their "new" school.  I had a group of students who were going through the process of entering into Special Education, and that required a lot of data collection on my part.  A few students who just didn't mesh well.  Finding a Larkinville learning community was non-existent  By this time last year, I was over teaching. 

This year left me back in third grade, but I went in with a different attitude.  Last summer break was the first one I got to spend with my own son.  Each day, each vacation, each week had a totally different feel and meaning.  I did nothing for my school.  The first year ever that had happened since my 7 years at Smith.  I enjoyed every moment I could being home.

I am not entirely sure what happened this year.  This year I had 9 students in the Special Education program.  Each having different needs, diagnoses,  and personalities.  But this year.  This year.  Something worked.  Something clicked. 

I needed this class.  This year.  As a teacher who was contemplating her passion.  Wondering what she was doing with her life.  I needed this class. 

This class showed me that I had to work harder than I ever had before to reach each and every learner in my class.  I had to make 3 different worksheets for every lesson.  I had to read tests and quizzes aloud instead of catching up on emails or grading while the class tested.  I had to attend more IEP meetings in one year than I ever imagined one general classroom teacher could fathom. 

This class showed me I still have it.  I can take students who enter my room at a 1st grade reading level, and not only push them to grade level, but past.  I learned that when you can help a student find a working strategy that helps them succeed they will blow your mind with what they will accomplish.  This class reminded me I am in this profession for a reason. 

I am never emotional about our end of the year state testing, but this year.  This year.  Everyone of my babies passed the reading and ELA portion, what they need to pass to move to 4th grade.  My heart soared when I got to tell each child individually that they passed. 

This year.  I needed this class. 

** I can't take all the credit for their reading scores.  The gains that my students made this year are to a level that I have never seen in my classroom before.  I was lucky enough to have a fabulous Special Education teacher come into my classroom for our reading block, at least 3 times week. I will miss working with her next year.  With that kind of co-teacher support I know my kids were able to succeed in the way they did.  All the other subjects, I can take COMPLETE credit for those :)