Lost

I have always liked the quote above.  I find a lot of truth in those words.  There have been many times in my life where I felt as if I were wandering around, but never really feeling lost.  Actually, there are few times I can really say, yup I was lost during that time in life.  But Tuesday.  Tuesday I felt lost.  

My sister, Trisha, and I signed up for the Disney Marathon in April 2013.  We were enjoying the beautiful beaches of Puerto Rico and we thought, why not?  Why not start 2014 off with a marathon?  Since that moment in April, we have been connected in a way we hadn't been before.  We set up training plans.  We discussed runs daily.  We came up with fuel plans.  We discussed a run/walk training pace.  I was witness to my sister becoming a runner.  She was dedicated and determined.  It was inspiring to train "along side" of her.  

We shared good runs.  We shared bad runs.  We perked each other up.  We listened to each other complain.  We held each other accountable.  We hit milestones.  We called each other in the middle of our long runs.  We talked nothing but Disney after Thanksgiving.  We planned everything.  We budgeted to the penny.  We changed our travel itinerary with Disney 3 separate times.  We celebrated when we were picked to test out the Magic Bands.

I cried when Trisha came down with a foot injury five weeks out from the marathon.  I prayed.  I stressed.  I worried.  We fought.  We yelled at each other.  I cried some more.  I held my breath to hear what the doctor would say next.  I held back my worry as we tried to complete our last long run of 20 miles together. 

Then it happened.  Disney.  The trip was everything I could have dreamed and more.  I was with my family.  We were in close quarters.  I got to run.  I got to hang out in Disney.  I was with my family.  Jacob and I had time off at the same time.  Cade was a great traveler.  I was with my family.  

Trisha broke down first.  That normally happens.  She started crying the night before we left.  She always cries when we leave each other.  I held strong.  My emotions didn't catch up with me until I got home.  It was so quiet.  There was so much room.  I was alone.  I had nothing to train for.  I had no reason to call Trisha.  Jacob and I would have to go back to opposite schedules.  I had to go back to work.  I stood in the middle of my living room.  Tears falling down my cheeks.

I felt lost.

Where to go now?

I hate coming down from a vacation.