August

August.  The word brings fear to most teachers.  The end of summer.  The beginning of the work.  The start of a new school year.  A group of new students to get to know, assess, educate, and entertain.  A new schedule.

This year school started at the end of July, so even by the first of August I was knee deep in my school schedule.  I knew August would be crazy.  The new school year, a new principal, I in a new teacher position, then to top that all off with my sister-in-law was due mid August, Cade turned 1 which of course called for a party, my sister was due late August which meant I wanted to get some time back in MI with my new nephews, and then I was training for this little thing called an Ironman, where I am expected to bike 112 miles, with my B-race of a 100 mile ride on Sept. 8.  Then throw in trying to find a babysitter for multiple occasions.  Whew.  Just typing that exhausted me.

I am here to write that I barely survived.  I was close to a mental breakdown, and I felt as if I had taken on way more than I could chew.  Poor Jacob took the blunt of most of my stress, then Cade missed out on time that was taken up with after school activities and trainings.  My mental health took a dive, and I made some silly/simple mistakes throughout the month of August.  Paid the bill to the wrong account (twice), missed two bills, got our trash service cancelled, had to wing it teaching (more than a couple of times).  My diet went out the window, and my training was all over the place.

I felt as if I was a mom with NO balance.  I was working 12-14 hours a day, trying to catch up in the classroom/start of the school activities.  When I did get home I was trying to spend the little time I had with Cade, which left Jacob cooking and cleaning up.  Then down the trainer to get on the bike, just to feel miserable/guilty the entire time I was there.  Jumping in the shower, and then trying to force myself to sleep, about 2 hours after I should have been in bed already.  As Jacob left for work it was just then I would realize we had barely spoken two words to each other.  Then I would fall asleep feeling terrible, just to wake up and do it all over again.  

I tried many different things to find balance.  I said I would leave work by 4pm.  I was never leaving the building by then. I tried to get in bed by 9, then it was I wanted to shower by 9.  That all went out the window.  I kept making promises to myself.  Then just letting myself down.  Over and over again.

Then the melt down happened.  The sobbing.  The frustration. The anger.  The eat a whole family size bag of  peanut butter M&Ms in a matter of 20 minutes.  The sitting in a sugar coma and not speaking for an hour. Then the snap the heck out of it.

I got it together.  I pulled out a notebook and started a weekly to-do list.  I re-prioritized.  I would be home for family dinner at 5.  Dishes would stay in the sink until after Cade went to sleep.  We would have family time after dinner to bath time.  I would only train, during the weekdays, after Cade started bath.  I would not train longer than 2 hours on the weeknight, and if I didn't have time to do that than it would be an hour.  I would shower, and then spend time with Jacob before he would go to work.  I would be in bed by 9.  Jacob and I would get one night a week out.  Period.  No excuses. 

I am proud to say I am here on the other side of August, and I kinda feel like supermom.

I am not 100% on top of my school work, but I certainly have a smaller to do list, and I am out of the building by 4, except for Thursdays when I leave at 4:20 because I am a Girls on the Run Coach (I know.....I know...long story, but I am loving that part of life right now).  I do still bring work home on the weekends, but that is only worked on after Cade is asleep or he is napping (my own personal rules), and this small detail is keeping me a little more sane each week at school. 

I can now say I have a toddler, or a one year old.  Cade made an adorable first year old, and he is a pleasure each day.  He still hasn't said his first word, we don't think.  He says words but not in association with anything.  He is almost, almost walking.  We work on that every day.  His birthday party was what I consider a success.  I not only hosted my first party, ever, at the house, ever, but I also made my first cake, ever.  And it was a complicated cake.  Super proud of myself!

Peeking through at his one year photo shoot

So cute!  Year old photo shoot

Polka Dot Cake

Birthday Cake

Family picture

I traveled back to MI with Cade, alone.  I had an overwhelming amount of anxiety about traveling alone.  Little man was great!  That does not mean I wasn't prepared, and constantly thinking 3 steps ahead, but what it means is all my planning paid off for a smooth trip.  Seeing my little nephews was an experience I am so happy I was able to enjoy.   I was able to leave all my work worries, and training responsibilities in GA and travel with what was a pretty free schedule and mind.

Sisters/Aunts/Nephews/CoBros

Hold Tripp at 2 weeks old!

Holding Ian 6 days old

Jacob and I have joined a small group/Bible Study that will meet weekly.  Just getting to the group meet up took more than the stars aligning, but we were matched in a group, and we are set for our one night out a week.  

And the final huge accomplishment was my 100 mile bike race.  This would not have been possible if it were not for the many friends and endless list of babysitters who helped out watching Cade while I got in my long rides, for Jacob who took over bath duties for the entire month of August, my good friend who let me drop Cade off at her house at 5:20 am, and kept him until Jacob could pick him up at 5:30 that evening on the day of the race, and for the women who trained with me on the trail, and then stuck with me for the entire race.  A race is something that is never completed alone.  I had an entire Army behind me.  There is a race report coming soon, but the short version is the ride was an amazing experience.  It was hot and hilly.  It was extremely different than run racing.  It took 8 hours and 16 minutes. 

So the lesson learned from August 2013, get your priorities right.  After your priorities are right, do everything in your power to get them aligned.  Don't give up until they are fit together.  It took me a little while, but I am so much happier now that I know I am a wife and mom first.  Then an athlete, and then a teacher.  Here's to August 2014.  Bring it.