I Still Cry...

So while watching the Super Bowl the pre-show of course has someone sing the National Anthem. Where ever I am this song makes me cry. Well at least well up with tears. As I try to understand why I cry, I can only believe it is because of all of the emotional memories I have.

I was a month shy of turning 18 years old the day the terrorist attacks occurred. I remember coming back from our Senior Picture in the gym and hearing the announcement for all student to go back to their seminar rooms. We were not to leave until they said we could. I sat in the back of the second row, next to Joel Riemink. We had turned on the TV in enough time to see the plane hit the second tower. I don't know if it was my age, or my sense of empathy as to why this event shocked me to the core. We sat and watched the television all day. At our next home football game, the following Friday, our band director let us know that there was NO WAY we could screw up the National Anthem. As I played, standing in the bottom part of the C on the field, for the first time I heard the crowd. Everyone was singing. Standing and singing. This was the first time the National Anthem brought tears to my eyes.

A month later, my now husband, Jacob tells me he is going to enlist in the Army. This starts the next part of emotional memories. I remember leaving Jacob at the hotel for basic training, not knowing the next time I would hear from him. I remember each of the 12 times we had to say goodbye to each other after meeting somewhere over the 4 years Jacob was active. I remember the hardest was watching the man I had just married 2 days before walk down the airport tunnel, off for a year in Iraq. During these 4 years I played in Westerns Marching Band for football, and pep band for basketball. I played the National Anthem every weekend for almost the entire 4 years we were apart. The year in Iraq was the hardest. I knew men and women, my age, over fighting for our freedom. I remember the scariest call of my life when Red Cross notified me Jacob was missing in action.

Jacob is back now, but still reports to the reserves once a month. We know that him leaving again is only a matter of time, and I know I will stand strong as many wives have done before me. But I still cry. If you actually listen to the words of the National Anthem they still ring true today. Throughout all of the fighting and war, the "flag is still there". I know I am an overly empathic person, but I think because of my age and the times that our generation has seen, that song means a little more to me than others.

The next time you hear the National Anthem, try to really listen to the words. I am telling you, they are so true, and very meaningful to those who have lived and seen the true sacrifices. I think I will always cry....